Many times I’ll be walking my genetically-engineered ambulatory ficus down the street, when I’ll be approached by a breathless, excited person. “You’re the guy from the Taillight Ruiners commercial!” they’ll scream, pinning me to the ground, knees on my shoulders. “Tell me,” they often continue, “what kind of taillights were used in that logo?” At this point their face is usually inches from mine, their unblinking eyes boring sight-holes in my face. Since this is clearly a concern of many, many people, I’m going to reveal the truth now.
First, if you somehow haven’t seen this ad from the early 2000s, here it is:
The Taillight Ruiners chain used to be all over Southern California, but I think they’re all gone now, replaced by cheap DIY taillight ruining kits you can get online. Nobody really appreciates the value of a professionally-ruined taillight anymore.
Anyway, the taillight used in that goofy animation is from a 1974 Lancia Beta coupe. Please, spread the word so people stop accosting me.
Also, in that ad you can see the roofline of my old Volvo P1800, my wife’s old Buick Skylark (which had an already broken taillight we sacrificed to make this), our old Rabbit convertible, and an extra taillight from my Beetle.
I show this goofy thing like once every six years. You’re welcome.