Somehow, over about the past year or so we’ve written about really dumb things to do with batteries. First, Jason revived his Changli, but not before chainsawing out the little vehicle’s old lead-acid batteries. Look, don’t do that. Really, don’t do most of the things you see on this website. That includes today’s story from Lewin about this fella in Africa who performs open cell surgery on car batteries.
As a number of readers have pointed out, there are legitimate reasons you may need to modify a battery, such as in the event that you cannot find a proper 6-volt battery for a classic car. However, whatever you do, try to protect yourself at least a little better than a man who puts on Crocs as safety gear before cutting open a battery. It’s probably also not very good to leave the contents of a battery on your skin for too long.
For a personal story, I have experience with this very thing. I was a sort of stupid kid and took explosion warnings on batteries as a challenge. One time, I tossed a pack of batteries into a fire. They blew up, leaving me with a 1-inch scar near a wrist and another 2-inch scar on one of my arms. I still have those scars today, over two decades later. Batteries are serious stuff!
Stig’s Cousin noticed today’s battery Frankenstein likely has the scars to show for his work:
The scars on that man’s arm are enough warning to prevent me from ever messing with a car battery. I hope he at least uses some sort of eye protection. Safety squints aren’t adequate for a job like this.
Today, David wrote a story about how driving his girlfriend’s Lexus RX 350 was way cooler than he expected. Yes, David has a girlfriend! She’s real and I had the pleasure of meeting her before the whole deal became official. I do wonder if she knows about David’s previous life in Michigan. Does she know that he used to store alternators under trees and had milk that was practically old enough to vote?
GreatFallsGreen plays out a scenario:
“I was thinking spaghetti for dinner.”
“Great! I’ll go turn the shower on.”
“Er…set the table?”
Finally, our readers couldn’t resist the temptation to turn a totally serious article about the American Chocolate car brand into a joke thread.
This used to be a thing. Surely you remember the Reese’s Peanut Butter Coupe, the York Peppermint Caddy, the Rolo Royce, and the Chrysler 5th Avenue?
Not to mention the Mercedes $100,000 car.
You’re gonna need a big Payday to afford one of those. Probably King Size.
I’d like to add:
Mustang 5.Oh Henry
Fantastic! Have a great evening, everyone.
(Correction: A reader has pointed out that our original headline and topshot were probably in poor taste. In hindsight, they are right. We have changed both and apologize for any disrespect. It was not intentional.)