There’s a dinosaur in the automotive world. I’m not talking about the Chevrolet Express, though that’s old enough that it might as well be ancient history. I’m talking about Stellantis. Honestly, it’s hard to hate Stellantis because its actions are so funny that you just have to smile. Oh yeah, so we also know what killed the dinosaurs.
Matt wrote about how Stellantis will try to save itself by bringing the Hemi V8 back from the dead. Lizardman in a human suit:
Stellanis is a dinosaur. Dinosaurs go extinct. (Well, actshually, we lizard folk dropped a rock on them to prevent intelligent life from forming on this planet. Luckily the plan worked. But the truth takes the fun out of a great quip.)
Carbon Fiber Sasquatch:
If Ram had done what Ford did, which is sell the Hemi and Hurricane side by side from the beginning I don’t think any of their customer’s would be upset. They need to keep moving forward with RXEV Rams and BEV Rams but still make Hemi models until they become single digit percentage sales.
I’m sure the Coyote will phase out of the F-150 when it’s 5% of truck sales.
Jason wrote a Cold Start about the VW Microbus “station wagon.” TheDrunkenWrench makes a hilarious:
On a long enough timeline, every family car becomes a wagon. Vans are included in this. They’re just high roof wagons.
SUV? Tall wagon.
Crossover? Comfy tall wagon.
My Excursion? 3/4 ton wagon.
Shooting brake? wagon coupe.
Pickup truck? open air wagon.It’s wagons all the way down.
It’s all wagons? Always has been.
David Tracy is in a race against time to build a Jeep from eBay parts. Data:
David Tracy Mad Libs lives! I have _____ time to get ______ ready for ______.
Impossible is not a word I associate with DT.
Rat infested Jeep FC Biohazard – Check
Project Cactus where the parts car became the primary – Check (Not entirely sure you’ll ever top this one)
Project Postal – Check
The Autopian – Check
BEV BMW Lover, about as far away from Jeeps as you can get – Check
Move to California – Check
Marriage – Check
Child – Check
Pop culture – BzzzzzzWell, you can’t win them all.
Mark Tucker wrote a Shitbox Showdown of a 1951 Ford Custom versus a 1995 Ford Escort. DialMforMiata returns with a reference to Jason’s hubcap article:
I sincerely hope at least one of the hubcaps on that ’51 reads “Food”.
Have a great evening, everyone!
Topshot graphic image: Universal Studios & Amblin Entertainment/Autopian
I watched a John Wayne movie this weekend: The War Wagon.
Theory checks out.
So station wagon = crab?
Too bad the Euro-centric map on David’s wall makes it impossible to point out the most direct route from SYD to LAX is over the Pacific.
First COTD win! Thanks for all the great content to play off of!
Welcome to the club! We meet up on thursdays for finger sandwiches.
Keep your fingers out of my sandwiches
Put your fingers in mine
I’m sure we can finger out a solution.
How’s the new truck been?
Been sitting in the garage waiting for me to install new shocks. Finally got all the parts Friday.
Congrats on losing your COTD virginity!
You’ve taken the first step into a larger world.
“It’s all wagons? Always has been.”
Could have been a caption for the photo underneath it.
(DT looks like that Always Sunny conspiracy theory meme)
https://i.pinimg.com/originals/25/33/d1/2533d1f12752ef1667f15c359c0b6e52.jpg
One of these days im gonna have to get a membership. Unfortunately money is a human concept, and I don’t get paid like that.
Okay well I’m getting mixed messages then. I thought the lizardmen ran the human businesses to get the money.
We run the people who run the money. But we lizards doing the work aren’t paid like you are. Post scarcity society for us. And our goals on this planet are expansion and invasion. Preparing it to become our home. Since we already own the planet and everything on it, money is irrelevant.
Same. We just live off the land man
I do wish this was like twitch and we could gift memberships. Encourage community participation!
I’d contribute to an Autopian Aid fund.
Hooray! It’s been a hot minute since I made the cut. Thanks Mercedes!