Let’s say you have a time machine, why not? It’s not a great time machine, though; you ordered it from Temu, and it feels pretty janky, made of brittle-seeming plastics and terrible upholstery. Plus, what looked like a sophisticated control panel in the ad turns out to be just a decal with two buttons on it. One is labeled “50 YEARS AGO,” and the other says “RETURN TO PRESENT.” The only other control is a long, spindly lever just cryptically labeled “ADJUSTMENT.” There’s no cupholder. The one good thing about it is that, when fully expanded, it’s easily big enough to hold a car.
In reading through the instructions, you find out a few things: it runs on a strange mix of vinegar, goat blood, and paraffin in a 10:5:9 ratio, it can only take you back exactly 50 years, and anything living that wishes to travel in it must be wearing a full latex bodysuit. So what are you going to do with this thing now that you’ve spent almost $138 on it? Going back 50 years isn’t enough for the time machine staple of killing Baby Hitler or anything like that, so what would be fun in 1976? Watch Operation Tall Ships as part of the Bicentennial Celebration? Visit a McDonald’s that still knew nothing of the McRib? Fly on the first Concorde flights? I have a better idea.
Buy a car.
Here’s how you’re going to do it: using 2026 technology, you’ll forge yourself a perfect cashier’s check for $50,000, which should be enough to buy you whatever car you want. You should probably trailer the time machine to locations or cities where you know the most car dealer options are available, so you have as many to pick from as possible. This is a time machine, not a space machine, after all. You may also want to bring clothes other than the latex bodysuit the machine demands you wear; that’s your call.
But what do you pick? There are so many possibilities! What about an MG Midget? 
Or maybe something really ’70s, like a Pacer?
…or a Mercury Capri? Those were pretty fun!
What if you wanted to be a real sicko and get something like a Pontiac Sunbird, so you can bring it back and be almost certain to have the best Sunbird in the world in 2026?
I bet you could do the same with a Volare:
A minty ’76 Suburban could be a fun counter to all the modern SUVs:
How about a really early Honda Accord? You never see those on the road anymore?
You could go weird and get a Lancia Gamma! I never said these had to be reliable cars, after all!
For me, I might be predictable and just go for a nice, fresh, new VW Beetle. I think a convertible. 
What would you pick? Assuming, as I mentioned, you have to physically get the time machine to the location you want it to be in on your own? Sky’s the limit! Well, I guess the limit is a forged $50,000 cashier’s check, which reminds me, you should probably head back to the future as soon as you can after buying the car, in case anyone gets wise.
Top graphic image: Volkswagen
Based around that time, I’d be hunting down one “John O’Hara” in Southern California, and giving him a fair offer for the first Shelby Daytona Coupe (CSX2287), before he got divorced and his wife hid it in storage for 20+ years.
with only 50 made, I wonder if 50K in 76 would have bought a Lamborghini Silhouette
As I turn 50 this year, I have contemplated this very question. What car would I like to have from the year I was born? 1976 Mazda Cosmo. Sexy 70s lines with a 13b? Yes please!
I’d get a new for ’76 Jeep Cherokee wide-track with a V8, manual, and Dana 20, painted orange.
The two that quickly come to mind are the Ferrari 365 GT4 2+2 (predecessor of the 400i w/ 5 speed manual) and the Aston Martin Lagonda. But the Mercury Capri shown above is a very nice choice for cars within the reach of mere mortals.
Unfortunately for us California folks you’ve put us square in the crosshairs of smog inspections with the 1976 date.
Just for reference, that Capri, when new, stickered out to under $4k. Would you like a dozen to go?
76 was the first year of the Esprit S1, so there we go.
With the remaining $35,000, if I’m not buying a house, also a 76 Lotus Eclat and that still leaves $20k.
A 1976 Ferrari 308 GTB retailed for $25-30K in 1976, which leaves room for a 1976 BMW 2002 at MSRP of $6,750.
Since I’ve got so much extra left over, I’d also snag a used Datsun 510. They sadly ended production in 1973.
My neighbor had an International Scout II that came painted white with red and blue stripes, to celebrate the Bicentennial. I want that.
weird how many Bi-Centennial edition cars were actually made and yet you never see them. https://txclsx.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/76ChevyC10Bicentennial_0k_poster.jpg
The scout was pretty tasteful by comparison.
Can I wait a couple years and get a saab 99 turbo? If not I might get a saab 96 instead.
I’m turning 50 in a few months, so this hits close to home.
Ok, a Torino TSX, a Citröen 3CV, a Fiat 128 IAVA. And some empty lot that will be absurdly expensive half a century later.
Also turning 50 in a few months! Bicentennial babies unite!
Huzzah!! A few months away as well.
Brand new IH Scout. I’d slather the frame and underbody in lanolin wax and drive the shit out of it.
Can I introduce you to Fluid Film Black? All that, in a spray can, even includes a hose attachment to fit into frame rails and drain channels.
No amount of canned anything will save a Scout. I’ll need to dunk it like a dipped cone at Dairy Queen into a warm pit of wax.
you have to keep them out of rain and remove some of the rocker drain impediments, but even then they rust. They did use extra thick metal to I guess avoid the rust going all the way through too soon, but nothing saved the floors and or rockers.
Cosmoline!!
I would buy myself a plane ticket to Modena and somehow find my way to Sant’Agata Bolognese and get one of them early spaceship lookin’ cars with the rearview mirror peeking back through a glass window in the roof.
Then I’d hide it in a bunker for 50 years with delivery miles.
If it did not matter much, I would probably buy a Pantera from Europe with the Aussie head 351. Though if it had to be MY 76 and from the US, I think a 400 4V S3 Laguna would be my choice. though if it were my money, and I could buy a one year older 454 S3, that would have been my choice. Though again if used is an option, I would have bought scads of Muscle cars for that money. so many were worth nearly nothing due to the energy crisis.
1976. I’m not aware of any crazy significant 1976 only vehicles that I could bring back and sell to pay for the kids college, but it was the first year of the CJ7, and the year of my very first vehicle, a CJ7.
I wonder if I went back and bought MY exact Jeep, if I would create some kind of paradox?
An air-cooled Porsche 911 in mint condition today would certainly pay for 4-years at a state university.
Ford Bronco and a Thing (or a Bug) . Not much else from 1976 worth thinking about.
Ya. Bug is a good shout. Datsun Z too. Maybe a 914 or…I don’t know when the 912E came out?
Or maybe figure out how to get a Kenmeri GT-R.
Simples… XB GT Falcon Hardtop with a Toploader, AC and sunroof – in Dunhill Red
this would be a good option as well. Though I think I would have to have waited until Mad Max to even know they existed.
1976 BMW 3.0 CSI
I came here to say this.
A 1976 Triumph Dolomite Sprint. Because then I could create a paradox by buying the one I have today that needs completely rebuilding.
1976 Pontiac Firebird Formula 400. If I cheated a little, a used 1974 AMC Javelin.
Porsche 924, 1976:
Center weight, injection, adequate power, cool new design.
I think mine should be the “french racing blue” colour with tan interior.
But it was a good car, so fair chances of finding one today also 🙂
Damn it. Just damn it. Read this half a day ago, and couldn’t stop thinking about it. With that kind of money and the time frame, the 308 (either trim). No way I could ever fit in the damned thing, but how could you look at that and not just feel, “I want.”
That would be a ‘vetroresina’ car, and it would definitely carry a significant premium over just about any 308.
BTW, the GTS variant of the 308 didn’t come out until 1977 – so your only choice in ’76 would have been a slick-top GTB. I’d say ‘tin top’, but’ I’m not sure that would be the case on a ’76 GTB…
Never have liked fiberglass bodies, regardless it’s still ‘I want’ lol.
As easy as it would be to say either of the cars I already have, it would be a 911. There’s a lot of other great options, but at the end of the day it would be a 911.
My list:
Alfa Romeo Montreal
Lancia Scorpion
Mazda RX-3
Hilman Imp
Ferrari 308 GTS
Lotus Esprit
It’s funny how in 1976, in the middle of the malaise, Europe and Japan seemed to be more on the ball with their car designs (by my admittedly weird standards).
Like I mentioned above – the 308 wasn’t available as a GTS until ’77.
A 911, the car that 4-year-old me announced to that I would one day a bit less than 50 years ago. Since I’m unrestricted in my choices, I’d make it a Carrera 3.0
My choice as well…black Targa with a pascha interior. If no 3.0s were around, I’d suffer through a 2.7 until the block self destructs, and use the remainder of my funds from the bad check to drop a 3.2 in after returning to the modern day.
Fortunately, I did buy a very non-new one before they became expensive. The 3.0 Carrera I mention is not the SC engine – it’s a mag case 3.0 (early turbo block) with MFI, and was not sold in the US. Fifteen years ago you could find even those here (some got privately imported) for used-Accord money. A 2.7 isn’t going to self-destruct – any 2.7 that’s made it to today has almost certainly had its issues dealt with by now. Build yourself a short stroke 3.2 from an SC case with slightly higher compressions, cams and a backdated exhaust and you’ll have a revvy little screamer.
Of course – but if I’m in a time machine, I’m not buying a modern survivor. And I imagine once I transport it back to the present, stripping all of the emissions stuff on the 2.7 that helped spike heat (and maybe replacing the studs as a precautionary measure) might keep it from breaking.
25 years ago I was looking hard at a handful of big bumper cars (Carreras and SCs) when a buddy decided to buy a 75. It wasn’t super well maintained (and we lived in Vegas). His engine lasted about 6 mos before the head studs pulled. I ultimately decided that a $14k SC was beyond my budget, and an earlier Carrera was best to be avoided.