I’ve never liked the idea of calling a car a “guilty pleasure”; there’s no reason to feel guilty about liking a giant land yacht or a teal-colored ultra-nineties GM coupe or anything else that – who, exactly? – decided was something one should be ashamed of appreciating. However, there are sainted cars that, for some reason, I do feel guilty about not actually wanting to own myself.
It’s not like I don’t respect these icons. I’m well aware of why they’re vaunted machines, sort of like accepting that Brussels sprouts are good for you. Still, for whatever reason, I just don’t feel the need to spend virtual lottery winnings on one; maybe I want cheese curds instead. I want to want it, I need to need it, but there ain’t no way I’m ever gonna love it. [Ed note: Did I just get Meatloafed? – Pete]
As a kid, I never liked riding in our air-cooled VWs, sticking to the vinyl cushions with no ventilation in summer while that frantic sewing-machine noise assaulted us from behind the seats. Making the Bug lower, sleeker, and faster does not increase its appeal for me, and since that’s the core of the Porsche 911, that might be the source of my disinterest. I fully understand the critical acclaim and fervor, and it’s crazy that I wouldn’t empty my savings account to get any kind of semi-tragic 911, but I just can’t, much less at the absurd sums being asked. Actually, the only 911s that can be had for remotely reasonable prices – the “fried egg” headlight ones – are the examples I kind of could actually see buying.
What’s wrong with me? Maybe it’s that I can’t see beyond the big, ugly bumpers of the 70s and 80s 911s and would rather just get a concurrent 928.
And the new ones? I parked next to a fairly late-model example recently in my five-passenger mid-sized SUV, and this latest 911 sort of dwarfed our Cayenne. It just seems absurdly large for a sports machine, regardless of its insane capabilities. No wonder some people I know who bought them soon traded to a Macan, a car they can drive every day and carry things in, or to a Boxster, which drove like they thought the 911 would, but doesn’t. So maybe I’m not totally alone?
The 911 makes ten times more sense than some Italian exotics, but they’re all bit too antiseptic and clinical to stir much emotion from me. I can’t think of another car that I respect and acknowledge more as being an outstanding vehicle that I have no interest in owning.
Oh, wait, there is one.
Even if you don’t love old MG and Triumph roadsters, it’s hard not to fall for the car that is supposedly always the answer: the Mazda Miata. I think it’s a brilliant creation, and on the right road and on the right day, a Miata is a joy to drive. Living in Chicagoland, though, such roads are a day’s drive away, and the weather is ideal only a few weeks a year, so Mazda’s cute sports car would serve little purpose for me. I know that my Chicago neighborhood Miata owner and superfan Mercedes Streeter would voraciously disagree, but at the same time I’d be curious to see how much she actually drives hers around this suburban wasteland.
On a recent business trip, Enterprise offered me a new Miata RF as a “free upgrade.” I squeezed in and sat for thirty seconds, realized that it was absolutely not going to be “the answer” for driving five hours while making calls on the highway, so I reluctantly got into a Camry instead. That’s most of my driving, but even outside of work, if I lived in Colorado or the backwoods of Tennessee, I’d probably want something brawnier. Don’t get me wrong; I absolutely get why the Miata captures enthusiasts’ hearts, but when it comes to Mazdas, I’d take an RX-7 all day long over the Miata. Crazy, I know.
Wow, that was therapeutic to get out, and you can’t hit me with tomatoes from where you are. How about you? What entries from a “greatest enthusiast cars ever” list do you feel decidedly “meh” towards, even if you have no idea why?
Top graphic image: Porsche
Toyotas as a general rule. Great cars, great company, negative interest in owning one.
I’d make an exception for a 2000GT, but I’d need the Sean Connery version to fit in it.
Chevy Suburban (also full-size trucks at roughly F150 XLT-grade). I have a small, narrow driveway, I only have one kid, I don’t have huge towing needs. They’re useful things, they drive nice on the highway, they’re just so much bigger than I need.
Aston Martin Lagonda. Something about its style appeals to me, but it is totally the opposite of anything I would want to drive.
That definitely one for me too. ACHINGLY cool car, but zero desire to own one.
You’ve picked my pick. It’s Porsche all the way for many of the same reasons.
The cars are great, but the Porsche scene is a little too superficial for my tastes, and it doesn’t help that I live in 2nd most dense area for Porsches in the world. I can’t drive for more than 30 seconds without seeing one, and that ubiquity makes them feel even less special.
Depends on if I am paying for it? Free or super cheap, I will drive anything. Have had a number old hand me downs, and always found something to enjoy about them all. I even kinda wish I still had the old 1988 Olds still. I miss lazyboy front bench seats in cars.
The only thing I will not drive is a poorly maintained vehicle that is not functioning safely. I like cars that stop, go, and turn as intended. Too old for sketchy. Fix it first.
As a Miata owner, I get why some people wouldn’t want one. Especially if you don’t have the ability for multiple vehicles. I have a truck too. I regularly run a 2 hour commute in the miata. Kinda loud, kinda small, but getting 39 MPG is way better than my truck. Top down on a nice days too. Though anything more than that or snow, I take the truck. I have my limits.
Corvette – because my wife and son would never stop making fun of me.
Ferrari – if want to be in a sadomasochistic relationship, it’ll be with the Dom of my choice, not a manufacturer that treats it’s customers like shit. “Luce” is not my safe word.
Ford Maverick. I live in the city, so a pickup is completely unnecessary for me, and I’m not a pickup guy to start (I’m actually a fairly-rare-here sedan guy).
But I love that Ford has basically reproduced the zeitgeist of the original Ranger – completely enough truck for what people actually use pickups for, outside of commercials, and then some. Its relentless practicality is pretty amazing when you look at the rest of Ford’s current lineup.
Any pre-2000s car actually. As cool as it seems to have a classic, regardless of wheter it is an inmaculate 80’s Mercedes, a raw 60’s muscle car or a cool 90’s big-ass SUV. I respect them all but can imagine owning any unreliable and unsafe POS of the last century.
Lambos. I’d love to take one for a spin, but they’ve go too much of a “fraudulent financing application” vibe.
Damn scammers ruining it for the actual rich people (myself not included).
Regarding the RX-7 and Miata–I own both an ND Miata and FC RX-7. The RX-7 has a much roomier cabin despite being 1.5 inches narrower than the Miata. I know which one I’d rather be in in a crash, though.
and it will carry probably four time the cargo of the Miata with the ‘rear seat” folded down (if it has one). Like a cut-rate 944 for less money and headaches until the rotor seals go. Cool car!
Porsche is certainly up there. Of course to get the Porsche I’d want would also require tens of thousands of dollars in factory mods, which, yeah, that’s the point, but it’s also annoying as hell.
Ferrari as well, lots of respect (and also contempt, frankly) but their ownership scheme rubs me the wrong way.
Lucid, Fisker (RIP), Tesla, etc., basically the EV-only companies (not including Rivian) with no other products to sustain the EV business (or vice versa) and that would anchor them if they had a downturn (like Fisker). I just have more confidence in more established companies, or – in Tesla’s case – ones whose owners (both of the company and the cars themselves) aren’t as problematic. Rivian gets a pass because they have good outside investments, their products are very appealing and good, the factory isn’t that far from me, and I could see myself owning one of their SUVs.
SRT, specifically the Trackhawk, and also honorable mention to the Viper. Fun cars, lots of appeal, but I can’t grasp the idea of owning one with my own money. The fact that they’re alarmingly easy to steal also dampens my enthusiasm. I’ll continue to borrow others’ instead.
BMW and Mercedes, for different reasons, but also the same reasons. They’ve become such disposable forgettable appliances, and the older ones cost too much to maintain and repair (and I say that as a 5-time Volvo owner!).
Nissans, in terms of their cockroach-like ability to survive alarming amounts of abuse
Everything with impossible to find parts. I hate parts treasure hunting.
An underappreciated answer in the enthusiast community sometimes, but completely true. The best way to use a car is to spend time driving it, not staring at it while telling people it just needs a little more work then it’s gonna be magic you’ll see.
The Bugatti Veyron is one of the most magnificent cars ever made, from a design and technology standpoint. But the way the company has treated Mat Armstrong and the couple other Youtubers that are trying to work on their own cars, I would never want any of their products. Even if I could afford one.
(If you haven’t followed any of those, Bugatti won’t sell you any parts. Not even an oil filter. All service and repairs have to be done in house, at their rates.)
That last part is the killer. I had a relative who used to be a on-the-go mechanic for the only VW/Audi dealer in a wide area (pretty rural) but happened to have a bunch of rich folks with Veyrons (and Lambos of course, but those are pedestrian in comparison). Consequently he’s done a ton of work on them for the dealership, and later on once the owners knew him they just ordered the parts directly and paid him cash (at like double his normal rate) to install them. VW was actually pretty chill about just shipping Bugatti parts straight to your door. Rimac has seriously pissed off a lot of the owners with their nonsense.
Having spent some time with a few Veyrons and a Chiron, I’ve yet to be more than whelmed by them. They’re impressive, yes, and a feat of some amazing engineering. But they’re so staid and put themselves on such a pedestal it’s difficult to get emotional about them, especially when it seemed like every iteration of the Veyron and Chiron was a “special edition”. To paraphrase Syndrome from “The Incredibles”, “When everything is special, nothing is”.
Miata – Love it, would want to own one, looked at owning one. I simply don’t fit in the cabin.
Corvette – Total respect for GM’s accomplishments over the years, just can’t turn myself into the stereotype.
Most of the high performance Japanese darlings like WRX, FD RX7, Gen4 Supra, GT-R, AE86, ITR – With the notable exception of the first NSX I think I’d generally rather have a Toyota Century.
Wranglers and Broncos – I spend plenty of time bad-roading and mild actual off-roading but “four-wheelin'” for the sake of it is simply not in my blood. It’s all about getting to a more remote destination with all my passengers and gear, and for me that generally requires a large BOF SUV like a Suburban.
Finally, and most importantly – anything I feel like I can’t put some miles on. I should put more miles on my Jag than I do, but at least it’s not out of some misguided attempt to somehow preserve the value of a car by not driving it.
Yes, for some reason I never liked the Gen4 Supra styling; too bulbous and rounded. Much prefer the Z32 300ZX which is much more timeless design and we DID put over 120,000 miles on.
Buick Regal TourX
Probably wouldn’t get one now but those still look great.
Lots of cars I respect but wouldn’t want to own. But off the top of my head:
–The Rimac Nevera… insanely fast. And I’d argue that it’s too fast for street use.
-C8 Corvette. It’s a great performance bargain and it looks great… but it has such a high performace level, you can’t really stretch its legs in any legal fashion on public roads. Plus, no manual. Yeah manuals are slower. But if I was buying one for myself, I’d want the manual because it’s fun.
-Classic muscle cars with big block V8 engines. Yeah they’re cool. But I wouldn’t want to live with the dreadful fuel economy and how the power is often more than the chassis was designed for.
-Fancy old/rare luxury cars like Duesenbergs. Expensive to buy, expensive to operate, expensive to fix. If you want to own one of these and actually drive it regularly, you pretty much need to have a good relationship with a good classic car mechanic or have your own staff the way Jay Leno does.
-Rotary engined cars. They’re cool. They’re neat to drive. They are also temperamental gas guzzlers.
After sitting in a newer vette I really hated the driving position. It felt like the car was 30 feet long and it drove me crazy not knowing if i was about to hit something. Probably because I have always owned smaller cars or suv’s.