I’ve never liked the idea of calling a car a “guilty pleasure”; there’s no reason to feel guilty about liking a giant land yacht or a teal-colored ultra-nineties GM coupe or anything else that – who, exactly? – decided was something one should be ashamed of appreciating. However, there are sainted cars that, for some reason, I do feel guilty about not actually wanting to own myself.
It’s not like I don’t respect these icons. I’m well aware of why they’re vaunted machines, sort of like accepting that Brussels sprouts are good for you. Still, for whatever reason, I just don’t feel the need to spend virtual lottery winnings on one; maybe I want cheese curds instead. I want to want it, I need to need it, but there ain’t no way I’m ever gonna love it. [Ed note: Did I just get Meatloafed? – Pete]
As a kid, I never liked riding in our air-cooled VWs, sticking to the vinyl cushions with no ventilation in summer while that frantic sewing-machine noise assaulted us from behind the seats. Making the Bug lower, sleeker, and faster does not increase its appeal for me, and since that’s the core of the Porsche 911, that might be the source of my disinterest. I fully understand the critical acclaim and fervor, and it’s crazy that I wouldn’t empty my savings account to get any kind of semi-tragic 911, but I just can’t, much less at the absurd sums being asked. Actually, the only 911s that can be had for remotely reasonable prices – the “fried egg” headlight ones – are the examples I kind of could actually see buying.
What’s wrong with me? Maybe it’s that I can’t see beyond the big, ugly bumpers of the 70s and 80s 911s and would rather just get a concurrent 928.
And the new ones? I parked next to a fairly late-model example recently in my five-passenger mid-sized SUV, and this latest 911 sort of dwarfed our Cayenne. It just seems absurdly large for a sports machine, regardless of its insane capabilities. No wonder some people I know who bought them soon traded to a Macan, a car they can drive every day and carry things in, or to a Boxster, which drove like they thought the 911 would, but doesn’t. So maybe I’m not totally alone?
The 911 makes ten times more sense than some Italian exotics, but they’re all bit too antiseptic and clinical to stir much emotion from me. I can’t think of another car that I respect and acknowledge more as being an outstanding vehicle that I have no interest in owning.
Oh, wait, there is one.
Even if you don’t love old MG and Triumph roadsters, it’s hard not to fall for the car that is supposedly always the answer: the Mazda Miata. I think it’s a brilliant creation, and on the right road and on the right day, a Miata is a joy to drive. Living in Chicagoland, though, such roads are a day’s drive away, and the weather is ideal only a few weeks a year, so Mazda’s cute sports car would serve little purpose for me. I know that my Chicago neighborhood Miata owner and superfan Mercedes Streeter would voraciously disagree, but at the same time I’d be curious to see how much she actually drives hers around this suburban wasteland.
On a recent business trip, Enterprise offered me a new Miata RF as a “free upgrade.” I squeezed in and sat for thirty seconds, realized that it was absolutely not going to be “the answer” for driving five hours while making calls on the highway, so I reluctantly got into a Camry instead. That’s most of my driving, but even outside of work, if I lived in Colorado or the backwoods of Tennessee, I’d probably want something brawnier. Don’t get me wrong; I absolutely get why the Miata captures enthusiasts’ hearts, but when it comes to Mazdas, I’d take an RX-7 all day long over the Miata. Crazy, I know.
Wow, that was therapeutic to get out, and you can’t hit me with tomatoes from where you are. How about you? What entries from a “greatest enthusiast cars ever” list do you feel decidedly “meh” towards, even if you have no idea why?
Top graphic image: Porsche
There’s a lot of cars, from good to great, that I have little actual desire to actually own for practical reasons. Pretty much anything that’s statistically likely to need very expensive repairs really doesn’t make it to my ‘to get’ list. For example, early Boxsters are affordable even if you opt pay for a nice/cared for one (which you should of course) but parts are expensive, labor is almost always expensive, and an IMS bearing job (or transmission, or so many other things) can cost half or more of what you paid for the car.
By the same reasoning: I adore the 944, 924 (who else remembers that lovely one from the first Autopian GTG at Galpin?), 968, 928, Cayman, 914, 912, and of course pretty much all 911s, even the ‘bad’ ones. I could buy a decent example of any of those cars this afternoon without having to raid a retirement investment account, with the exception of a 911 (I’d have to raid an IRA for that). But buying the car isn’t the issue: it’s owning and caring for the car over time… I just don’t want the psychic burden of knowing that the strange noise I suddenly heard on the way home from Trader Joe’s could easily wind up costing more than an entire year’s property tax bill.
Which is why I have a nice 30+ year old Miata in the garage. It pretty much never breaks in any kind of serious way. Sure, there’s the wear-and-tear normal with multi-decade-old hoses, belts, and bushings, but even if it sat too much and won’t pass smog, it’s never too big an issue to get it tuned/tweaked so that it does. It needs paint, but if I did that, I’d have to worry about it more than I do, so I just enjoy it as-is, with a big fat smile on my face.
I only got a first-gen Box because I am both able and eager to do major service work to it, and my wife has a cheap-to-maintain Honda that I can steal while the Porsche is down since she doesn’t commute.
So far, I’ve needed a mechanic once, because the car hit a no-run condition at the same time that I was moving to a new apartment, and that was a cool $3K in service. I’ve probably spent around $1k in parts each year since I bought it, not including that trip to the mechanic, which more than doubled my total cost of maintenance so far.
Yes, that’s my impression cost-wise, more or less. I actually test drove the first Boxster new and effin’ loved it of course (I foolishly wound up buying a Mercedes CLK instead) and I went with my buddy recently when he was test driving early ones (he wound up buying a Toyota MR2 instead), so he/I have done a bit of research re: common problems/expenses. I don’t begrudge a car that good requiring a grand or two each year, but my back is at the point where if I can’t fix something myself in 20 minutes, I won’t do it. Which means more work for the mechanic (my current one gets $225/hour).
$225 an hour is rough, probably fair for a skilled specialist but still painful to the ol’ wallet. I get it about the back, I’m taking full advantage of being limber to have hard-to-maintain cars while I still can. I hope I’ll move to a 2-car solution before I start to struggle with Porsche maintenance, because I really can’t think of a more fun car that handles commuting so well. If I had some more garage real estate, though, I’d love a hot hatchback and some sort of older roadster with more space in the engine bay, like an MG or Fiat.
Sadly, $225. is competitive for skilled labor like that in LA. Lots of people I know that drive Range/Land Rovers, BMWs, etc… pay $300-400 an hour now. The $225. is for Raffi at Saab and Raffi in Hollywood, and there’s probably nothing weird/old/European that he doesn’t know everything about.
That checks out, it’s great that you know a good specialist though, the peace of mind that your car’s in good hands is a great feeling.
Expensive truck.
Ever seen a ground breaking ceremony? They will have a bunch of rich guys in suits and hard hats stand around a pile of dirt with a chrome plated shovel, that they will take a scoop out of. Then as soon as the cameras stop rolling, they clean off the fancy shovel and let some sweaty people come in with shovels that were sort of rough looking when they left the factory 10 years ago.
A Platinum, Carbon-Black, King Denali is like that chrome plated Shovel. Sure it can do just as much work as a normal shovel, but nobody wants to tear it up using it.
I’ve seen it in the aftermath of a tornado. Nobody wanted to drive past downed trees with their expensive trucks and I drove OVER them in my beat up old S-10.
I could see getting a XLT level F-150 someday, but nothing “nicer” because there is nothing in the nicer packages that make the truck a better tool.
I gotta say Ferrari’s. Like they’re fast and some look pretty damn cool, but ugh the whole Ferrari gate keeping on letting you buy them and what you can do with the car after you’ve bought it would make me never want to own one, no matter how much money I had.
Fortunately, I can’t afford the lego kit for a Ferrari, so I never have to worry about if I would like owning one.
The E60 M5. That V10 screams, then you scream.
Pretty much anything from Toyota or even Honda. I love that they exist and whenever someone asks me for a generic car recommendation I just tell them to go to the closest Toyota store and pick the color they like. On average they are the best choice for a car.
But when it comes to parting with my actual money, I will probably never buy one. At any point in time they are just about the most reliable option for a new car but that also makes them incredibly boring. I’m willing to trade some (not most) reliability for performance and excitement, even it means I’ll be on the hook for more repairs later. I buy cars to keep for a minimum 10 years so I want things I actually like to drive.
I own 3 Toyotas (sort of, I’m co-signer for my daughter’s loan). I will likely always have Toyotas from now until I die.
The reason is that they are boring. But Boring in a good way. I got in my 22 year old Camry, turned the key (yes it still needs a key) and after a completely forgettable drive ended up at work. In a couple hours, I will go back to the car, wave the door open and closed a couple times (it’s summer in the South), climb in, turn the key and go home. A boring car for a boring drive for a boring life.
I used to have interesting cars. On the weekends and vacations they were fun. On the boring weekday drives to and from work, they were TOO interesting, with random breakdowns, stiff clutches, hard suspensions and the like.
Now if I had money and time for a non-practical car, I would NOT shop a Toyota. But for just doing a life that is full of boring days, it is a boringly perfect fit.
Thing is, I get the same experience with my BMWs and Mercedes. But I giggle like a schoolgirl while driving them (well, the BMWs, the Mercedes is basically a German Camry wagon, just nicer).
Heck, for that matter, last weekend I finally got up to Maine for a couple days. Went out to the garage, unplugged my Spitfire from the charger, and after sitting since September it fired right up first turn of the key and I took it for a two hour flog around the countryside. Interesting doesn’t have to mean unreliable. But boring is always boring.
My driving area doesn’t allow me to giggle. I go past 2 speed traps and a police HQ on the way to work, for a 5 mile drive. Well, unless it is end of the month and the cops are trying to fill up their quotas, then it becomes about 15 speed traps.
I’d still giggle. You don’t need to drive fast to have fun if you are driving something fun. Especially something like my Spitfire that is slow and fun.
I actually can’t leave my neighborhood anymore without passing a speed camera. Which I am VERY OK with, as I can’t leave my neighborhood without passing through a school zone with an elementary school, high school, and the community college in it. And people here drive like idiots.
Thing is, everything that isn’t just plain stupid is reliable today. In the 15 years I have owned it, my BMW wagon has needed a new battery as it’s sole out-of-pocket not scheduled maintenance expense. And that lasted nine years and cost $150 to replace. Even Toyota can only match that, so why settle for boring as shit? The BMW still makes me giggle like a schoolgirl every time I drive it.
I have often fantasized about the Citröen SM. Highly original and beautiful cars, massively complex and would require engineering skills well beyond my own or any garage within miles of where I live.
I respect the purpose driven mission of modern Rolls Royces… to completely isolate you from everything around you and feel like nothing else on the road. That being said, I wouldn’t be caught dead driving one.
If you are driving a Rolls, you are an employee not an owner.
I’d be embarrassed to be seen in one. Tacky and pretentious.
Slate truck-at $30k for a basic electric 2 passenger vehicle with 200 mile range seems like a miss to me. Sure I might be interested in replacing my Chevy Bolt and my Subaru Sambar with one vehicle, but it would have to be priced below $20k. There likely won’t be any on the used market since they just won’t sell new in any large numbers. I hope I’m wrong, since this would be the perfect convergence of my automobile needs in a few years (retirement).
I think the key to the Slate is the customization options. I have no idea if a lot of people will want a truck that they can modify with little touches every weekend, but do have to admit that no car in the $25k range (new) has anything even close to that option.
If getting a Slate and constantly changing bits and pieces becomes a Fad, then the price is right. You are going to spend $25k+ for a reliable new car regardless, so why not get something to play with?
But with a Fad, there’s no way to predict if it will happen and how long it will last.
I think at $20k, you’re just not considering new vehicles at all if you want something vaguely interesting and generally useful.
The Slate is around the price of an HR-V, Maverick or Prius, cheaper than a Miata or Ranger, and while that doesn’t make it the cheapest new car on the market, it does make it one of the cheapest new interesting vehicles, and its form factor is highly desirable: boxy trucks are extremely fashionable right now.
Mustang.
A lot of Hyundai/Kia products. I respect how responsive they are to the market, some of the unique exterior and interior styling chances they have taken, their broad model lineup, and their legitimate forays into performance categories. But I just can’t bring myself to seriously consider one. Some combination of the engine problems, the ADHD styling and marketing approach, the off-putting gotta-have-it-now fast fashion of the Pallisade and Telluride for suburban moms.
On the pointier end of things–Corvette and Camaro. GM knows how to make performance engines and chassis and did incredible work on these cars. But there’s an image and vibe that I struggle with.
Honestly pretty much any vehicle worth more than about 50k I lose interest in.
My Tacoma was 38K and I still have a lot of anxiety about driving it.
I can’t fathom buying something so expensive that could get wrecked by someone paying more attention to their phone than driving at any time.
In my area you can still buy a crappy house or a decent Ish trailer on a little bit of land for 50-60k if you aren’t picky as to location.
My lower middle class brain can’t fathom driving a car with equivalent value to a low-end house.
I can dream of one day having cars up to $80k if they’re actually rare and special enough to justify the value (Cosworths, Alpines, Lancia HF’s).
My most expensive car so far was $30k and even though the Covid bubble let me break even on the debt/equity when I sold it a year later, I still look back aghast at how irresponsible that purchase was. $12k is a much happier spot for me now, and will continue to be for a while unless I break it down into 2 cheaper, less versatile cars.
There is cars I can afford to own. Then there are cars I can afford to own AND break. I limit myself to the later.
RX-7 or 8 – respect, but just could never get into the vibe. Had a 2nd gen turbo that was ok, but never really lit up as something i could get into or get enough out of. I passed on the 3rd gen just because I was tired of the rotary issues and downsides.
I respect some of the RWD Japanese, German, and even Korean 2-door sports cars, but I wouldn’t care to own one.
I even respect the Mustang, but again, I wouldn’t want to own one.
I prefer small regular-cab, manual transmission, RWD pickups from domestic manufacturers for the most part.
LR Disco 3 TDV6HSE: Just looks so cool and boxy, really love the design! But I have no need for all that complexity or 4WD, or any money to pay for all the repairs.
I like more the Disco 4 because the interior feels a bit more “modern” than Disco 3, although the style is the same. Always wanted to have one, but it is also one of the very few cars that I would never own.
Land Rovers of this era are time-bombs waiting to explode your bank account. They make contemporany german cars look reliable.
I can’t tell the 3 and 4 apart.
But the 1 and 2 were identical as well, so… 😀
4 has fewer black plastic cladding, 4 LCI different lights. But probably all panels should be intechangeable between 3 and 4.
If they follow the trend, next big Disco should not be different from the current one.
The Disco 1 and the Disco 2 are two vehicles that manage to look just about the same, but share almost no parts at all. And nearly everything about the 2 is worse. Quite an accomplishment, that.
Hummer H1, specifically the wagon. Amazing off-road image. Torsen limited slips front and rear (or lockers on some), incredibly low gearing, excellent ground clearance with the portal axles and independent suspension. Heated windshield with copper traces in it to defrost quickly in any weather.
Turns out that despite the brawny image all except the Alpha are extremely slow. You would also expect that being extremely wide it would have lots of seating spaces, but the seats are quite narrow and not real comfortable. Lots of reliability issues for the cool gadgets like central tire inflation. Too heavy and wide to be a true off-roader, but probably still a great all weather rough road vehicle.
Honestly, most every sports car fantasized about in the comments. I practice slow car fast in my everyday life, and the “fun” driving is offroading. what am I supposed to do with a fast car?
Slow sports cars are REALLY fun.
https://flic.kr/p/2oTGqu9
Kevin hit this one on the head, a slow sports car is about the most fun you can have, they’re designed to run at the limit, and because the limit is low, you’re always at it.
Unlike a slow economy car, that usually protests higher revs, provides questionable steering/brake/chassis feedback and understeers without warning when you run out of grip, a slow sports car will come alive at the higher rev ranges, provide lots of granular feedback through its control surfaces, and will rotate progressively, controllably and satisfyingly at the limit.
A sports car is just a car that likes to be driven hard, regardless of how fast it goes.
Alfa Romeo Spider Veloce. Beautiful car. Stick shift is in an awkward position. Didn’t buy one new in the 80s. Drove an early car and it was rough. Pretty to see others driving them though.
Toyota Tacoma and buckle in because my reasoning is exceptionally stupid. Basically, it’s because they are too versatile and good. It’s a truck, capable off road, comfortable on the highway, can tow, reasonably efficient, can be a manual. I like them, and respect them, and if I was forced to only own one vehicle it would probably be a Tacoma. But I own enough vehicles that each one can do something better than a Tacoma. For example, my F-250 is more capable of a truck in every measure, my WRX is a more efficient commuter and I prefer to daily drive a car than a truck, my wife’s CX-5 is a better highway cruiser and road tripper, my crappy 1976 F-150 can (and eventually hopefully will) be just as capable off-road without the worry of destroying my daily driver. So when you’re stupid like me, and own a small fleet of stupid vehicles, one vehicle that can do it all doesn’t make much sense.
It depends on the generation. The 3rd Gen Tacoma was awful on the road, couldn’t hold freeway speeds at all. Even small overpasses would drop it 5-10 mph, or you have to downshift to get it to move. However the 4th gen with the turbo 4 is excellent. I still prefer the Colorado, but the new Tacoma is close in my book.
I feel the same way about GT cars/sports sedans. For any sporty, RWD 4-seater, there’s a pairing of FWD hatchback and RWD roadster that costs the same and does the job better.
Having only one vehicle means it’s probably bad at everything. Specialization is key.
Exactly!
you hit my head on the nail. I now live in the midwest too and for driving its flat, boring grids for about a 90 mile radius around me. I have spousal approval to get another fun car but as you pointed out the weather isn’t great most of the year and good roads are far away. No fun car for me right now.
I have to say, even in a Midwestern suburban hellscape, a 3000lb car with 200-ish horsepower and a good manual is great fun, it’s just enough that accelerating out of intersections is fun, but not so much that an occasional 2nd-gear blast in town becomes dangerous/antisocial. The numbers don’t matter that much as long as it has a nice engine sound out of the box and a slick shifter.
I’m partial to hot hatchbacks for that, a FWD platform can suffer in the mountains if you like power slides, but that doesn’t matter on the plains. At any given price point, you can buy a far sweeter engine/transmission combo if you’re willing to accept FWD. Sedan/wagon versions are even cheaper, a VR6 Jetta is an absolute bargain for the lovely drivetrain you get to interact with, about the same price as a 4-cylinder BMW from an era that’s infamous for sloppy shifters and wonky clutch engagement.
It’s better to have a car that feels fast than one that is fast. And the biggest problem with modern “fast” cars (and this goes quadruple for EVs) is that they don’t feel fast until they are *dangerously* fast, so you just end up going stupid fast to get any thrill at all.
And ultimately, I have no need of a grocery getter that is faster than a Porsche from my youth. My e91 BMW wagon – 3500lbs, 230ish hp n/a six (OEM Performance intake and exhaust adds a few ponies, but sounds like it adds lots more without being antisocial), 6spd. 6 seconds to 60 is plenty fast (matches those Porsches), especially given the sounds it makes doing it. Just a delightful car all around. But I do love a good hatch, I deeply regret parting with my ’17 GTI Sport. The BMW is worth every penny of the $15K more it cost new in 2011 though.
I live in SW FL, so I feel your pain around the lack of fun roads.
I actually drive the aforementioned Porsche from my childhood, the 2.5L flat-6 pushes out 204 horsepower, the gear ratios are short enough that I can responsibly max out 2nd gear on surface roads and 7 seconds 0-60, mainly because I need to shift into 3rd for the last few mph.
I’ve removed the snorkel on my intake, it’s just a noise-reduction device so I gained zero horsepower but got some nice intake growl out of the (reversible) procedure.
My previous car was an M235i, and I wish I had gotten a Mk7 or 128i instead. The N55 was just a total overachiever and paired with the 8-speed it had the exact problem you’re describing, the car was totally asleep below reckless speeds.
My M235i was a stick, which helped the engagement factor a little, but not nearly enough, as it didn’t really matter what gear you were in, hold your foot down for a few seconds and you were at license shredding speeds. Great fun for the month I had it in Europe, got boring fast in the US. I now have a 128i (in addition to the wagon) and love it. But that GTI Sport was special and I never should have parted with it. I had bought the 128i and wasn’t driving the GTI much, then Carvana offered me more than I paid for it new at four years old…
Evidently the secret to driving a car for four years for “free” is buy in a scandal and sell after a pandemic.
Ultimately, my goal in my quest to simplify both my real estate and automotive lives is to end up with just one house, my 328! wagon and probably a REALLY nice Alfa Spider to fulfill both the “convertible” and “classic” spots in my life. I love my Spitfire but it’s the wrong classic for Florida. No fun little roads for it, and no A/C.
The BYD Seal 6 PHEV estate I recently rented for a road trip through Sweden.
-Great build quality. Everything from the doors to the interior felt really solid and well-made.
-Fantastic fuel economy with a huge range.
-ICE / electric handover was surprisingly seamless.
-Not particularly powerful, but crisp and punchy around town.
Looking at the price, I find the value to be incredible. It was immediately evident to me why BYD is on track to become one of the word’s dominant automakers.
All that said, I couldn’t live with it.
-Weird seating position. The seats were great, but there was no way to change the adjust the angle of the base. The seat was too low and felt like it wasn’t tilted backwards enough, leaving you with no thigh support and a sore ass.
-Weak, metallic-sounding audio system with no low end.
-The all-screen UI was a nightmare. I didn’t even realize the car had ventilated seats because the control is buried three menus deep. This is a shame as the wiper and shifter stalks were excellent, and I’m sure BYD could build an excellent set of buttons / HVAC controls if they applied themselves.
-The driver monitoring is overzealous and annoying.
Anyways, these are all easy fixes that will probably be improved in the future, but I couldn’t stomach spending my own dollars on. I assume they will figure it out eventually.
I highly doubt the screens/UI will change, if anything more menus is likely from BYD.
You’re probably right, but BYD is desperate for export sales, and professional reviews of the vehicle tend to be similarly scathing.
They’re going to have to grapple with western tastes at some point if they want to go from ‘good value’ to ‘great car’ and compete seriously in those markets. This is why Toyota, Hyundai have all invested in design studios in California, etc. BYD has the fundamentals down, but truly enjoyable cars are more than the sum of their parts.
Other than the seat and speakers, the stuff I mention could all be improved with software tweaks. I would still prefer more buttons, but it is possible to reorganize the menus such that frequently changes settings are much easier to find. The best approach would probably be to make all the HVAC controls a persistent band at the bottom of the screen.
Kei cars and old Italian cars. Cool, but not designed to fit anyone over 5’8″.
Yes. I admire Kei cars and trucks, but in a very “I love that for you” kind of way.
Only the sports keis are a bit cramped. I’m 6’1 and I fit comfortably in pretty much every kei car I’ve driven (at least a dozen different ones at this point)
The only one I didn’t fit in was a friend’s Honda Beat, but that was because the racing bucket seat was too narrow for my back to touch the seat.
To be fair though, living in Ohio with nothing but straight roads, I don’t have much interest in owning a kei car either
I’m 6’2″ and fit just fine in old Italian cars. But I have REALLY short legs, which is the key.
I don’t get the point of Kei cars outside thier native habitat. Kind of like Smart cars, they are what they are for a reason that doesn’t really exist in North America. I like small cars, but there is a limit…
“Voraciously disagree?” Makes Mercedes sound like a cannibal. Perhaps you meant vociferously?
Oh yeah: Corvette.
No, I really meant she’ll kill and eat anyone anti-Miata
Damn, I was afraid of that. Glad I chose Corvette.
I lol’d.
Do I respect the Piech Bugattis?
Hard to say but I sure would not want to own one.
The Dymaxion car, well under ideal circumstances ownership might be interesting but driving it? No.
I think a Vosin. I’m not worthy to be its caretaker.
Audis. I love the way they look, I respect the engineering, I’ve heard that they are great to drive, and I DO NOT TRUST THEM. Every story with an Audi ends in tears. Expensive, wallet-emptying tears.
The only thing keeping me from owning an Allroad wagon is, well, the stories I hear about ownership of an Allroad wagon.