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When Your Name Is Just Too Perfect For The Job: COTD

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Some people were seemingly born for the jobs they’ve taken on. Or, at the very least, they were given the perfect name for a job. Will Power is a great racecar driver name, as is Dick Trickle. There’s Dr. Joshua Butt who is a gastroenterologist and Tom Kitchin who is a chef.

I’ve said it before, but my name isn’t made up. Well, sort of. I named myself Mercedes in 2012 and then went through the legal process to change my name to Mercedes. My original legal last name was Streeter, but I recently changed it to the last name of my biological grandfather to honor my family’s history. I kept Streeter around as a layer of protection from creeps and admittedly, “Mercedes Streeter” is just too perfect of a name for someone writing about cars and motorcycles.

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Vidframe Min Bottom

Jason went to the Charlotte Motor Speedway for the Mustang 60th anniversary event, but there may have been an even better choice, as pointed out by 10001010:

Shouldn’t Sally be the one covering the Mustang event?

Today, Lewin wrote about how Dubai and its airport suddenly found itself with a lot more water features than it should have. It’s wild watching an airliner taxi its way through a flood. Perhaps more surprising was the Porsche Taycan that briefly served as a boat. Andrew Wyman got me with this:

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That Porsche driver: “I’ll take the boat less Taycan”

Finally, Lewin wrote about how a dealer is selling a Maserati Levante for $31,000 off. V10omous wasn’t impressed and gave it the full Joe Walsh:

My Maserati cost $1.85…..

DialMforMiata came in for the rhyme:

…It lost its turbos so now it don’t drive.

As did Mr Sarcastic:

It turned to rust
Now I ride the bus.

Have a great evening, everyone!

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Jblues
Jblues
1 month ago

Went to a podiatrist once – Dr. Futterman.
Went to a tax accountant once – Phil Pfeilschifter,

Steve Jones
Steve Jones
1 month ago

I worked with a fellow named Peter Dick. His brother – and I swear to God – Harry Dick. We used to joke with Peter that his sister married a guy named Quick. Anita Dick-Quick. Also in town was an insurance salesman Harry Cox.

MaximillianMeen
MaximillianMeen
1 month ago

There was a girl in middle school named Penny Nicholl.

Damn! I never thought to ask her if she had a sixth sense. Ah, missed opportunities.

WR250R
WR250R
1 month ago

Ha! My aunt’s name was Penny Nichols

MaximillianMeen
MaximillianMeen
1 month ago
Reply to  WR250R

Hmmm, it could have been Nichols rather than Nicholl, that was a very long time ago. Is your aunt in her late 50’s and raised in San Antonio?

WR250R
WR250R
1 month ago

No we’re in southern Wisconsin. Strange there’d be two of them haha

Collegiate Autodidact
Collegiate Autodidact
1 month ago

“I kept Streeter around as a layer of protection from creeps and admittedly, “Mercedes Streeter” is just too perfect of a name for someone writing about cars and motorcycles.”
Yeah, agreed about the latter, it’s too good a name not to keep for such an occupation, and, yeah, a wise course of action about the former, unfortunately.
While I do not have any first-hand accounts of nominatively determinative names and otherwise humorous names, my mom did have two such from her college days. She had a professor named Dr. Legg (alas, not in anything related to anatomy, kinesiology, or the like) who had a brother named either Henry or Harold (I do not recall which one) and was inevitably saddled with a nickname such that he was known as Harry Legg. And my mom had a college roommate named June who married someone with the surname Bugg and she went through with the traditional name change so she was known as June Bugg.

TOSSABL
TOSSABL
1 month ago

My grandparents knew a couple with the surname Lear. Named their daughter Crystal Shanda. I’m thinking she likely applied for emancipation the moment she turned 14.

Oh, they also lived on Easy St—but that name only lasted a year or so before residents applied to have it changed

Nlpnt
Nlpnt
1 month ago

I’ve worked in the past with a refrigeration mechanic named Jim Frost.

VanGuy
VanGuy
1 month ago

An old article of the coolest names of all time on Cracked.com ended with Staff Sergeant Max Fightmaster.

Hangover Grenade
Hangover Grenade
1 month ago

The doctor that delivered me was named Dr Seymour Weiner.

PlatinumZJ
PlatinumZJ
1 month ago

And don’t forget Seymour Johnson AFB in North Carolina!

Rad Barchetta
Rad Barchetta
1 month ago

I’ll just leave this here.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eARVm1JFw7s

Amberturnsignalsarebetter
Amberturnsignalsarebetter
1 month ago
Reply to  Rad Barchetta
Jonathan Green
Jonathan Green
1 month ago

Of course the guy who runs the National Enquirer is named Pecker….

Rob Schneider
Rob Schneider
1 month ago
Reply to  Jonathan Green

And why would you ever invest with Bernie Madoff With All Yo Money?

Then there’s the crypto king, Mr. Bankman Fried (sounds like “freed”). Who is of course, no longer free, for crimes related to being a pseudo bank.

Lorena Bobbit made the news again (indirectly), when the guy she bobbed had to have another ten pieces of his anatomy removed. (Apparently an infection in his feet necessitated removal of his toes.)

I still think Mr Car-roll Shelby was destined to produce race cars, and while Adam Car-olla isn’t in the auto biz, he does have a nice collection of race cars.

MaximillianMeen
MaximillianMeen
1 month ago
Reply to  Rob Schneider

Wasn’t Carolla one of the first hosts of Top Gear U.S.?

Rob Schneider
Rob Schneider
1 month ago

Yes and no. He was picked to be one of the hosts when they were developing Top Gear USA but the show didn’t test well so they switched things up. Tanner was retained, but Carolla and Eric Stromer were replaced by Adam Ferrara and Rutledge, I believe before the first episode aired.

3WiperB
3WiperB
1 month ago

My wife has a family member named Richard Long, except he goes by Dick. She worked for him for a summer at his business as a high school job. She fielded many calls that thought it was prank paperwork for financial applications. Last name – Long. First name Dick.

I also had a high school teacher named Mrs. Head. Her husband was Richard, and he went by Richard… Definately not Dick. They should have changed their last name.

Citrus
Citrus
1 month ago
Reply to  3WiperB

The Heads are a prime example of why sometimes you should take the wife’s name in marriage.

Rob Schneider
Rob Schneider
1 month ago
Reply to  Citrus

I once worked with a guy named Dean Wermer. He never forgave his parents for the Animal House reference. When he married, he changed his last name – not to her maiden name, but to something they picked together.

Phuzz
Phuzz
1 month ago
Reply to  3WiperB

I know a Richard Shiner, who goes by Rich, never Dick.
He’s got the same name as his dad and grandad, making him a third generation Dick Shiner.

Captain Muppet
Captain Muppet
1 month ago

When I had my face rebuilt my anaesthetist was called Mr Pain.

Totally not a robot
Totally not a robot
1 month ago
Reply to  Captain Muppet

Is that Mr. Pain, or Dr. Pain?

Captain Muppet
Captain Muppet
1 month ago

Mr Pain, he was a consultant. Over here they stop using Dr when they get senior enough.

Christo Arvanitis
Christo Arvanitis
1 month ago

An old girlfriend told me that she had a gynecologist named Dr Stringfinger. It seemed implausible but I like to think it was true.

And here in Massachusetts, you’ll occasionally meet Richard Hertz from a town in the central part of the state and once he lets his guard down he’ll introduce himself as Dick Hertz from Holden.

Jeep Liberty, MY LEG!
Jeep Liberty, MY LEG!
1 month ago

I was assigned to compete with the son of a cop that had the last name Baton in high school. He was philipino rather than french so it wasn’t exactly a perfect nomative determinism thing.

IRegertNothing, Esq.
IRegertNothing, Esq.
1 month ago

The OB who followed my wife during her pregnancy was Dr. Breed.

Phantom Pedal Syndrome
Phantom Pedal Syndrome
1 month ago

My Russian chauffeur, Pikov Andropov.

MATTinMKE
MATTinMKE
1 month ago

I miss those guys.

Phantom Pedal Syndrome
Phantom Pedal Syndrome
1 month ago
Reply to  MATTinMKE

I’ve been listening to archived episodes lately and I’m surprised by how many of the callers problems I can now easily diagnose myself.
If you loved their automotive banter when you were younger I strongly recommend giving it a fresh listen with the automotive knowledge you’ve accumulated throughout the years since they went off the air.
I thought they were cheating back then. Like they took questions in advance and researched the answers. Who could possibly know so much about automotive maintenance.
They weren’t. They simply and foolishly just knew that much about car mechanics of the era.

The comedy is evergreen.
The automotive technology, not so much.

Apparently I learned a lot from listening to those dopes.
Surprisingly they still have a lot to teach me in subsequent re-listenings.

Well it’s happened again.
You’ve wasted a perfectly good minute reading an internet comment.

MATTinMKE
MATTinMKE
1 month ago

Absolutely! So many Saturday mornings listening to those knuckleheads while Dad & I complete the day’s tasks. I have their podcast at the ready, and lots of old episodes downloaded to my phone, just in case I need a fix.

Yes, that pun was intended!

And I agree about the comedy, what I learned, and what can still be learned.

Tinibone
Tinibone
1 month ago

Both my Dad and my Uncle (his brother) are Dr Kneebone. Unfortunately neither of them specialise in anything to do with knees

Bongo Friendee Harvey Park
Bongo Friendee Harvey Park
1 month ago
Reply to  Tinibone

I know a gynecologist named Dr Butt.

Captain Muppet
Captain Muppet
1 month ago
Reply to  Tinibone

Any connection to Dr Legbone?

Tinibone
Tinibone
1 month ago
Reply to  Captain Muppet

More connected to the wristwatch

Citrus
Citrus
1 month ago

I once met a man named “Dick Swallows.” He was in the bird control business, meaning he was a dick to swallows.

Do not know if the nominative determinism extended to extracurricular activities.

Mark Tucker
Mark Tucker
1 month ago

My favorite name like that was always a podiatrist named Dr. Tickel.

Mike Smith
Mike Smith
1 month ago

My favorite is Bob Loblaw, attorney.

Sensual Bugling Elk
Sensual Bugling Elk
1 month ago
Reply to  Mike Smith

He’s very good.

Saul Springmind
Saul Springmind
1 month ago
Reply to  Mike Smith

Have you read the Bob Loblaw Law Blog?

MacGyver1138
MacGyver1138
1 month ago
Reply to  Mike Smith

Bob Loblaw lobs law bomb.

Freelivin2713
Freelivin2713
1 month ago
Reply to  Mike Smith

Yeah, growing up we actually had a neighbor named Bob Law who was a lawyer…he had a 2nd gen Lincoln Town Car and we even eventually bought it from him. Great car

Phantom Pedal Syndrome
Phantom Pedal Syndrome
1 month ago

My local NPR stations data analyst is Nevaeh Wong.

Last edited 1 month ago by Phantom Pedal Syndrome
Lizardman in a human suit
Lizardman in a human suit
1 month ago

Never forget Dr. Richard Chopp. He specializes in vasectomies.

Fuller Name
Fuller Name
1 month ago

A fixture in Austin. I’ve known many men that went to him over the last 25 years. Someone eventually told me they saw a diploma or something on the wall with his real name. I suppose he changed to Chopp early in his career. Seems like a ballsy move that really paid off.

Lizardman in a human suit
Lizardman in a human suit
1 month ago
Reply to  Fuller Name

+ 1 for the pun

William Eby
William Eby
1 month ago

I visit the dentist’s office twice a year for a cleaning. I lose track of who my dentist is sometimes there is so much turnover. One time I came in and was told Dr. Chu was coming in to examine my teeth and I was like, “Doctor Chew? He was made to be a dentist.”

10001010
10001010
1 month ago
Reply to  William Eby

I had my AC replaced a while back and the guy’s last name was Painter. I suggested he was in the wrong line of work but he assured me he wasn’t because he hated painting.

Greensoul
Greensoul
1 month ago

Listen to the song lyrics and do the math. Sally was a Mustang slut

William Eby
William Eby
1 month ago
Reply to  Greensoul

But once he bought her a ’65, she won’t let him ride.

Greensoul
Greensoul
1 month ago
Reply to  William Eby

Proof they got married hahahahahaha

Nlpnt
Nlpnt
1 month ago
Reply to  Greensoul

And named their kid Otto…

Jonathan Hendry
Jonathan Hendry
1 month ago

There’s a professional photographer in Chicago named Chuck Shotwell.

Pisco Sour
Pisco Sour
1 month ago

In Chicago that name doesn’t instantly mean photography…

Saul Springmind
Saul Springmind
1 month ago
Reply to  Pisco Sour

I lived in semi-rural indiana for awhile and there was a junky old suburban running around with rear window graphics proudly proclaiming “I want to shoot you!” And then in much smaller text was the url for a photographer’s website.

Bongo Friendee Harvey Park
Bongo Friendee Harvey Park
1 month ago
Reply to  Pisco Sour

There was a photo shop in San Francisco named after the owner, Adolph Gasser, and it was kinda jarring

Nlpnt
Nlpnt
1 month ago

Did he drive an old Mercedes… with a straight-axle a quarter mile at a time?

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