For our final installment of Same Platform Week, we’re looking at two luxury sedans built on Volkswagen’s D platform. The D, of course, stands for “Damn, this thing is complicated.” Only one wears a Volkswagen badge, however. The other, improbable as it may seem, is a Bentley.
We had another really close vote yesterday, as often happens with two similar cars. The two Honda SUVs we looked at shared engines and drivelines, but had different transmissions, and that seems to be what tipped the scales ever so slightly in the CR-V’s favor. Many of you said you would have chosen the Element if it had a manual gearbox.
I think I might pick the CR-V regardless. The manual is just the icing on the cake. I don’t have anything against the Element, but the CR-V just seems more my style. It’s just a decent little car. The Element is more of a lifestyle choice, and it’s not one I’m sure I want to make.
Every automaker has made at least one truly boneheaded move in its history. Ford had the whole Pinto fiasco, Chrysler partnered up with Daimler, Daewoo came to America. In my opinion, Volkswagen’s boneheaded move was hiring Ferdinand Piëch to run the place. Piëch insisted on moving the brand upmarket, attempting to turn the People’s Car into the Rich People’s Car. He also bought up luxury brands and folded them into the Volkswagen Group. The result of all this putting on airs was this unlikely pair of automotive siblings: a Passat with delusions of grandeur, and a Bentley that would have given old Walter Owen a migraine with its complexity. Oh, for the carefree days of nice simple Beetles and Rabbits. Let’s check them out.
2004 Volkswagen Phaeton – $9,000
Engine/drivetrain: 6.0-liter OHC W12, five-speed automatic, AWD
Location: Ravenna, MI
Odometer reading: 74,000 miles
Operational status: Runs and drives well
Volkswagen’s fanciest car to date was Piëch’s pet project, intended to compete with Mercedes and Lexus. It cost a fortune to develop, and absolutely flopped in the marketplace. It turns out that if you want a Mercedes or a Lexus, you go buy a Mercedes or a Lexus, not a Volkswagen. The few buyers who did pony up for an ultra-premium Volkswagen lost their shirts on depreciation: This car is being sold for less than one-tenth of its original price.
The base model Phaeton came with a 4.2-liter V8 from Audi, but this one has the optional engine: VW’s bonkers W12. Imagine two of the VR6 engines in your cousin’s GTI joined together on a common crankshaft, and you get the idea. This six-liter monster puts out 414 horsepower through a five-speed automatic to all four wheels. It’s ferociously complicated, and not what you’d call trouble-free. This one runs and drives well, according to the seller, but there’s no telling when the next sensor will find something it isn’t happy with and trigger a check-engine light. Right now the only warning light is the tire-pressure monitor; the car has new tires, but obviously someone didn’t reinstall or reset the sensors.
It’s as fancy inside as you’d expect from a car in its price class, with power features galore, and every surface adorned with leather or wood. I want you to pay particular attention to the control panel on the side of the driver’s seat; it will become important in a minute. It’s in good shape overall inside, but it could use a good cleaning.
I think one of the big problems with the Phaeton is that it really does just look like a slightly bigger Passat. There’s nothing special or memorable about its appearance at all. This one is in good shape, but it appears to be missing the VW badge on the back. How are people supposed to know it’s a Volkswagen?
2012 Bentley Continental Flying Spur – $27,999
Engine/drivetrain: Twin turbocharged 6.0-liter W12, six-speed automatic, AWD
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Odometer reading: 63,000 miles
Operational status: Runs and drives well
Unlike Volkswagen, Bentley has a long and rich history of building big fast cars, going back more than a hundred years now. The marque has been owned by Volkswagen since 1998, and this big sedan has been around since 2005. Depreciation hasn’t been kind to this one either. This Continental Flying Spur was a nearly $200,000 car when it was new, but now you can buy it for about as much as a Hyundai Elantra.
The Flying Spur is also powered by a W12, but Bentley worked its own magic on it: this one puts out 552 horsepower thanks to twin turbochargers. Combined with a six-speed ZF automatic and all-wheel-drive, it made the Flying Spur the fastest production sedan in its day. It’s no slouch even today. Of course, it sucks down fuel like nobody’s business, and trying to do any service or repairs on it is likely to drive you insane, but that’s the price you pay. The seller says this one runs and drives well, though it has a check engine light. They think it’s a fuel cap issue, but it’s worth checking for yourself. Do those cheap Autozone OBDII scanners work on Bentleys? They must, right?
Remember those seat controls on the Phaeton? Look at this photo. Deja vu, right? It’s one of my problems with “premium” cars; you can always spot the parts that came out of someone else’s bins. The rest of the interior is awfully nice, though, I have to admit. And apart from a few little things, it’s in really good condition.
Honestly, this one doesn’t look all that special on the outside either. It’s a fairly generic large four-door sedan. Take the Bentley badges off, and no one would know what it was. It’s in nice condition, as it should be for the price. I think the black wheels are aftermarket, and frankly, I’m not a fan. A dark gunmetal gray would look better, I think.
I try to be as impartial as I can about the cars I feature here, just in the interest of fairness, but I guess I can’t hide the fact that I don’t actually like either one of these. The Phaeton is just silly, and the Bentley brings out my inner class-warrior. But I’m curious to hear what you all have to say about them. You’ve got all weekend to vote and discuss. See you back here on Monday!
VW. I prefer to keep my stupid decisions as cheap as possible.
Phaeton for me, my Uncle bought one new around 2004, granted it was the v8, its a nice car probably not low maintenance but not enough to scare him off of Audi/VW.
The only “modern” Bentley that interests me is the 2008-2011 Brooklands, watching Clarkson drive one on Top Gear made me realize that I love big coupes. I have never gotten to drive one, or even see one in person but I still think they look great in photos.
Yes! The Brooklands is the right answer. It’s one of my dream cars, and it’s just magnificent. One of the best looking cars of this century easily.
It’s too bad there was no actual production coupe version of the Mulsanne. They did make 19 convertibles, though, for a short model-run that was unimaginatively called the “Bentley Grand Convertible.”
https://www.motor1.com/news/221095/bentley-grand-convertible-debut/
But yes, the Brooklands is one of my favorites, too.
Come for the W10 laughs…stay for @G.K.’s deep Bentley takes.
Hat off to you sir.
A coupe Mulsanne would be incredible. I am glad to hear I am not alone in my love of the Brooklands. In the context of modern performance Bentleys, it stands out as a car that is beautiful and subtle. It is sinister and imposing, but at the same time discreet, or as discreet as a Bentley can be. I would rarely choose a black car anymore, but it wears it so well, almost like a Bond villain.
Given the right place right time, I’d be the type of person to buy this Phaeton. Easy choice. BTW, I’ve ridden in one with over 200k on it and no major issues and not much maintenance. 200km may not be much for some… but take your wins!
Over my dead bank account…
My bank account says its Friday and we need a Phaeton!
If I’m buying a depreciated euro sedan with a cool but unnecessary amount of cylinders I’m going S80 V8! It might bankrupt you but it’s far far less likely!
I once tried to test-drive one of those and it was in such a state of neglect that it didn’t make it off the dealer’s lot.
I did, however, once test-drive an XC90 V8 for an Autopian who flew into my city and bought it.
Nice! They are decently reliable with proper upkeep but few of those that are still around have been maintained. A few gems still out there though!
I agree, and you can only lose as much as you spend. Buy the Phaeton, drive it for 3 months, and sell it on to the next guy. At worst you’ll be out a few grand. With the Bentley? Any problem becomes several grand immediately.
You are quite the optimist. Only a few grand of repairs in 3 months?
Always appreciate a Simpsons deep cut.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uhxtWsOg7rY
VW for me. I like the idea that people will think it’s just a Passat.
I’ve seen exactly one Phaeton in person. It was in its natural habitat.
On the back of a roll-back tow truck.
If we’re lighting money on fire, might as well do in proper style. At least you can pretend you’re rich for a minute, and not just stupid.
I wonder if it was either of my Phaetons you saw.
I saw one when they were fairly new and Cindy Lauper was in the backseat… it was for some event I guess and they had Phaetons for VIP rides…
I’d take the Phaeton and with the savings keep it running for a couple of weeks.
Phaeton. Stealth Wealth is always a better look. When I get frustrated with it, I’ll just sell it to Mercedes for cheap.
The Phaeton does look understated and gentlemanly. The Bentley just looks garish and overwrought. And like you’re trying too hard.
Phaeton and use the savings to keep it running.
It won’t be nearly enough!
Don’t ruin the dream of internet monies.
Fair.
I think Bentleys are gaudy and pompous, and I wouldn’t want to have to work on either of these, but the VW is more interesting. I’ll take it.
If I’m gonna shoot my wallet with one of these bad ideas, I might as well use both barrels of the shotgun. Bentley it is then.
I would go full hood rat and add a pair of 18″ subwoofers to the trunk, and slam it on Gold Daytons.
It’s the car we deserve, but not the one we need right now.
If forced at gunpoint to choose, I’d choose the one that would hurt less when I sold it at a loss twenty minutes later.
Phaeton.
Side note: “phaeton” originally described a very light and sporty carriage, and I thought applying that name to this nearly 2.5-ton beast was wildly inappropriate.
Side side note: imagine taking a Phaeton and stripping it of all the things that make it one of the most troublesome cars you can buy. Replace the air suspension with springs, hog out the injection system and screw on a big Holley four-barrel. Could you dumbify a Phaeton enough to make it, oh, call it 80% as luxurious as the brochure promises, while making it far less prone to nuisance failures?
Phaeton is not a thing, Phaeton was a figure, the son of Helios. Phaeton is killed when he attempts to drive his fathers chariot.
That should be telling, isn’t it?
Ironic considering what Piech did to the brand! Those golf winds couldnt’t sail on foeeverrever ..
Of course, Phaethon was originally the son of the Greek god Helios, but in terms of vehicles, a phaeton was a lightweight, high-wheeled open carriage intended for speed. It was Not Safe.
Phaethon’s misplaced confidence and ultimate failure at controlling what was, in fact, a difficult conveyance is what inspired the name for the carriage – the fact that the carriage design was kind of tippy and led to the occasional fall from grace/life that Phaethon exemplified, though perhaps without the traditional lightning bolt.
I have read way too much Rick Riordan not to know some of this stuff.
What kind of world is it where I look at a choice between a VW and a Bentley for three times the price, and think “well, the Bentley’s the better option.”
Oof, if ever there was a day for neither, but unfortunately I read to the end, so I had to choose. Those are the rules, I guess. Since it’s fancy Autopian money, I’m going for the California car that won’t pass smog. I’m sure “it’s just the gas cap” after all. Maintenance and repair, well, it’s Autopian money, so no big deal.
Honestly, they’d both be great grand tourers, but when it comed to touring, I’ll take the power and refinement of the Bentley over the Phaeton.
Both are wallet draining options. I went with the VW and you end up putting the VW parts on the Bentley and cratering it’s already falling value.
Since it’s imaginary money, I’m going with the Bentley, though I’d have to get rid of those wheels.
A colonoscopy without sedation and anesthesia should be more pleasant than the ownership of either of them.
Even if you leave them parked, they will eventually break something.
Any mechanical/electrical repair bill will be similar, they are basically same car underneath, so, at least get the Bentley. It will give you more status.
But, honestly, I would pass both.
I’ll take the Bentley.
If I’m going to torpedo my financial ship with an idiotic car purchase, I don’t want it limping into port. I want that sucker on the bottom of the ocean!
So I voted Phaeton, and really, it came down to “do I want to pretend to be Tavarish? Or do I want to pretend to be Tavarish without tipping anyone off?” Also I already have a Volkswagen. A much cheaper, simpler Volkswagen that doesn’t know what a radiator is and for which water cooling is “It’s raining hard and the spray off the tires is getting on some of the cooling fins,” but I digress.
The Bentley is YouTube Gold. The Phaeton is more bronze, and I think I can afford bronze.
Just follow your heart. Either one of them will then rip it out of your chest and stomp on it.
This is a neither day.
Yikes AF to both of those.
Hmmm – a Philthy Phaeton or a Blacked-out Bentley?
If I didn’t hate blacked-out cars so much, I’d select the Bentley.
Might as well get some badge-credibility with a car which has never seen snow and minimal rain in exchange for the massive maintenance bills to come….
The blacked out look is terrible.
Calling it “murdered out” is even worse.
Even the trend of black wheels is awful.
User image checks out
It took me three or four days to figure out where the Autoblog-era headshot from 2007 was coming from before I nuked it in Gravatar. The internet doesn’t need more of my face
You’re f*cked either way. Or at least, at great risk of it.
How do you want to play it?
VW: open cylinder on revolver and place two .38-caliber rounds. Close. Spin. Place at temple.
Bentley: open cylinder on revolver and place two 0.45-caliber hollow-point rounds. Close. Spin….
Condition and maintenance history are probably key. The VW has a massive buy-in price advantage that will pay for a few repairs. I’d probably do that. Spin…
Wait, how do you put .38 and .45 in the same weapon? Sounds like this magical multi-caliber firearm would buy both cars combined!
they just use cylinder sleeves…what could go wrong?
Yeah, probably should have put the caliber before “revolver” rather than “round”, but I’m writing internet comments, not technical reports. So let me have my dumb joke!
“think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that”
I’m sorry Mr. Carlin, but I believe the word you are looking for is “median” and not “average”, because by definition median is the midpoint where half the sampled population is above or below, while averages can be skewed by extreme values…
Let him have his joke!
I know, lemme have mine!
Right game, wrong equipment. Either of these would be more akin to playing Russian roulette with an automatic.
Aren’t they basically the same car? One is an off-the-rack VW suit and the other is in a bespoke Saville Row British suit?
I’ll take the VW for 1/3 price with the same maintenance costs as the Bentley.
Yep, same platform. The Bentley is just longer and heavier than even the LWB W12 Phaeton. Also, of course, the turbos are exclusive to the Bentley.
Before buying the VW I would first find a specialist willing to work on it.
I’ll take the Phaeton. Mercedes (the writer, not the car manufacturer) can help me figure out what’s wrong with it.
It might be faster for her to tell you what isn’t wrong with it.
Or she will launch it off a dirt ramp and kill it because she goes hard and doesn’t feel any guilt about killing cars.
Even she did not put up with the Phaeton for too long. I know she had at least one, possibly two.
I’m on my second one.