I am the current owner of a 2025 model-year human baby. When I first signed his paperwork, he wasn’t running or even turning over, but now he’s fully mobile, though there are a few gremlins I’m still trying to work out. The gremlin I want to talk about today is his extreme obsession with wheels and tires. Is this how all human babies behave in their first few miles? Or do I need to have him checked out by my local baby-mechanic?
My wife and I recently took our baby Delmar (not his real name) to a flea market. We figured it was a nice Sunday, and this might be a good way to get some walking in, show Delmar some people and things, and maybe score a white-hot deal while we were at it.
This particular flea market takes place at a community college, with around half of the vendors outside and the other half inside a parking garage (which is nice, because the sun is intense). The month prior I had scored a scorching deal on two pairs of pants (My wife was upset that I didn’t try to bargain at all, especially given that I was buying multiple, but the pants are great). I ruined almost my entire wardrobe assembling a WWII Jeep from scratch, so my primary focus this time around was to find more deals on some clean threads.
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Unfortunately, that task would become impossible, as my one-year-old decided he was going to go absolutely bonkers over wheels and tires. It started with a golf cart; Delmar pointed at its wheels and tires and refused to continue walking. I picked him up, and he went nuts, wiggling in my arms like a fish out of water.
I carried him 250 feet over about a minute, figuring that by now he could move on to the hundreds of amazing vintage goods all around us — colorful clothing, shiny old mirrors, priceless sports memorabilia. But nope, as soon as I set Delmar down, he turned around and booked it back towards that golf cart, which was now on the other side of the parking garage.
Fast forward a few minutes, and as I walked through the parking garage with my wife Elise (not her real name), Delmar wandered off again, this time towards a U-Haul van.
He could not handle it. He jumped up and down, pointed with both hands, he started screaming. At one point, he was so excited he fell to the ground. He was more excited about that U-Haul van’s rear wheel/tire than I have been about anything in life.
After far too much time going nuts over that U-Haul van’s rear wheels, Delmar then decided to walk down the entire line of vendor-vans, going crazy as soon as he reached their wheels/tires.
Here’s an old Dodge Ram van:
Here are some all-terrain tires on a Ford Econoline:
And this Toyota Sienna was apparently too much for Delmar to handle, so he just went in for the bear-hug:
Delmar is so nuts about wheels and tires that he went absolutely mad over an elderly lady’s electric scooter wheels:
Now, I have to admit I was a bit confused about all this. I myself like a nice set of wheels and tires as much as the next person, but I don’t care if I see the most beautiful BFG all-terrains on the cleanest set of Rotiform gold wheels on earth — I’m still not going to go as nuts as Delmar did at that flea market.
Of course, there is a bit of biology to this all.
The Rotation Schema
My wife and I attend baby classes every week because we’re first-time parents, and it’s a good way to understand our child and to avoid certain parenting mistakes, while giving Delmar a chance to meet other kids. As such, we’ve been learning a lot about how babies’ brains work.
One thing I find especially interesting is the concept of “schema.” The way I interpret it is that a schema is like a building block needed to interprent our world around us. From the popular toymaker Lovevery.
A schema is a cognitive framework that helps your toddler organize and interpret information. Once a schema is established, your child is able to use it as a blueprint to process similar information. This means they don’t start with a blank slate every time they face a new situation or object—previous repetition and trial and error offers them valuable clues.
Lovevery specifically mentions why babies are obsessed with spinning things like wheels, writing:
If your toddler can’t get enough of things that spin, they’re probably working on their “rotation” schema. This is a form of play that can involve rolling balls, pushing toy cars, twirling their body, watching a pinwheel, and turning and twisting anything they can get their hands on.
What they learn from this schema play will help them later as they tackle math concepts like symmetry and geometry. It can also help develop physical skills like drawing, turning knobs, and dancing.
What’s odd is that Delmar loves wheels and tires that are not spinning, but I think it may be because he knows they typically spin, and maybe he’s going nuts over them because he wants them to spin, since his brain is pre-wired to want to see and experience rotation.
While part of me hopes this phase ends soon so we can walk through parking lots without him going absolutely mad, every parent tells me to enjoy all this weirdness because it doesn’t last long. So Delmar, keep going nuts over that rolling stock. As an extreme car geek who obsesses over automotive minutiae, I’m not one to talk.
Your son is wheely adorable.
But a little tiring
Cognitive schema theory is related to cognitive constructivism theory. That’s the idea that humans carry a constuct in their head that maps the physical and conceptual world around them. Parts of the construct are destroyed and rebuilt when contrary information proves true.
My related schema for this situation is that toy companies like this will quote the pop-sci versions of speculative psychology whenever it is an effective strategy for selling goods.
> Parts of the construct are destroyed and rebuilt when contrary information proves true
Sadly that seems to be a lost skill in many adults.
When I hear parents whining that certain parts of the school curriculum are “too challenging” or “make my child uncomfortable” I just want to blow a gasket. Like, yeah, that’s what learning is; finding out you’ve been wrong all along, but working to make yourself better.
I worked in a science museum for a decade or so, and everyone called it a children’s museum because only the children were mentally equipped to experiment and learn un-self-consciously. Freakin’ adults… pffft!
Well I have 5 kids and one of them was definitely obsessed with cars before he could talk. After 6 years of post HS education (and tuition checks) he now gets paid to draw cars somebody might actually drive and he is still obsessed with them.
Fantastic parenting, David! Well done!
I love how toddlers are like small drunk people all the time, just cute and more manageable.
Of course, you’ve already gotten him some toy Jeeps and cars, right?
What are the odds that lil’ Delmar will be sleeping in one of these when he graduates from a crib?
HA! 😀
Also wheels and tires are at eye level for him most of the time.
Small experiment: what if you put a wheel/tire combo on a high shelf to gauge his reaction? I wonder if he would be equally excited or a little nonplussed since tires are supposed to be on the ground.
Circles are inherently interesting, and these are circles that are 3d, close to his size, and at his eye and body level. And the steelies have circles inside the circles.
Well, there’s no question this must be David’s child. Just walking and ready to roll.
As a first time dad of a similar aged child, these Delmar posts are great!
Time for The wheels on the bus go round and round…
He’s read too many of Torch’s articles about tires being so satisfying to chew on, and he just absolutely needs to test it for himself.
Gotta remember the jawline, even at an early age.
There are some interesting phycological things with the male children of engineers especially mechanical engineers in particular. Apparently many like bright orange and green and are possibly ADHD. Obsession with weird things is par the course. My PsyD sister was always explaining this to me and my brother in law. As well as explaining we had this behavior when small children. Appliances, tools, remotes things they see their parents with are common facinations. I knew a network engineer that could have been a mechanical engineer who’s baby was obsessed with network routers and switchs. Because he saw his dad in his home lab.
I am still baby: https://www.instagram.com/p/Clkc3wkuGtr/?hl=en&img_index=3
I’m 46 and obsessed with wheels, too. Are you calling me a baby!? Are you?!?
you should dress up as the Michelin Man and see his reaction.
Maybe Santa can have the elves make him a Ronal teddy bear for Christmas.
This is a brilliant concept for a plush toy!
I vaguely remember bits and pieces of that age despite it being 60 years ago.
Among the things I got to do when Daddy washed the car was washing the wheels for him.
It would be nice to have someone around who was that short and with small hands so my wheels would always be clean – but I don’t need the responsibility.
No one says it has to be your kid.
The pointing just says, “There’s that thing!” “There’s that thing again!”, “Hey there’s that thing!”
Nice Fiat Ducato!
My first memory is climbing out of my crib because I didn’t want to go to sleep, falling and hurting myself, but deciding not to cry so my parents didn’t put me back in. I don’t think I got away with it, but that’s where the memory ends. My second one was of a weird little pinwheel toy where if you blow through the straw at the bottom the wheel spins, It’s basically a turbo. Explains a lot about me…
“While part of me hopes this phase ends soon so we can walk through parking lots without him going absolutely mad, every parent tells me to enjoy all this weirdness because it doesn’t last long.”
Given part of his genetic make-up, I wouldn’t bet on it.
Better double that kid up on tetanus shots
Delmar is naturally immune.
I guess the idea of babies establishing schemas really does hold air in a roundabout way until they get tired of it.
And then their interest goes flat.
Spare us with the pop psychology.
(Pls don’t ban me, it’s a pun. I’ll bring donuts as penance)
It would take a real prick to burst your bubble.
As for pop psychology, was it Freud who said that Coke was the real thing, or am I conflating things?
IIRC it was Faith No More who said it was the real thing.
Some have said until the age of 3 your whole existence feels like a non stop acid trip.
Wait! It was supposed to stop at 3?!
Yes, should I be worried?
“fo’ shizzle, my nizzle” Ain’t just some bad Orwellian batch!
Owsley? Orwell would indeed be a bad trip by George!.
Dot me as Leary of Owsley. Never wanted to make my head dead. I know You know we all should know how astonishingly close we all are to what has been warned, in the Declaration https://www.archives.gov/founding-docs/declaration-transcript,This BONE-CHILLING Letter from 1943 Predicted Trumpism – YouTube, 1984, and Court of History – YouTube I strait up despise politics, and hate that it is Necessary to town crier. My first awareness with Nixon as our president, who I immediately disliked, was too young to know why, but knew and cheered by the time of his departure, only to be greatly disappointed at Ford pardoning. “under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government” Declaration.
“supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it” Mark Twain
“The city of Washington was built on a stagnant swamp some 200 years ago, and very little has changed. It stank then, and it stinks now.” Lisa Simpson
I think we are on mostly on the same page.
Despising politics isn’t a good reason to not participate though. The world is run by people who show up, and if the only people who show up are jerks or worse, it gets bad quickly.
I Always Vote. I hope there is a record turnout.
Yes.
I have a family history of getting pissed off enough to run for office. I’ve managed to resist in my adult life, and kept it to getting to know people in politics, and letting them know what I think.
Part of the problem is that by the time there’s someone or something to vote for, it’s a choice between Meh and Oh God No.
We can just assume that Torch got stuck on the “red plastic, sometimes amber or clear, illuminated from within to convey information” schema and has yet to move to his next stage of development
I’d just assume that in 20ish years Delmar (NHRN) will be the proud owner of the wheel enthusiast bar, “Rolling Stock” that he renovated from the failed taillight enthusiast bar, “The Scarlett Glow”
WOW, he’s growing up fast!!
Don’t all babies love steelies?