Home » All The Worst People In The World Don’t Want You To Be An Autopian Member. Screw Them.

All The Worst People In The World Don’t Want You To Be An Autopian Member. Screw Them.

Autopianmemberplea Dragon

The world is in a strange place right now. David, one of the co-founders of this site and our Editor-in-Chief as well as a man who can make a hotel room an absolute disaster area in a shockingly small amount of time, was telling me about a press event he attended recently where the editor-in-chief of a major automotive publication arrived and proudly announced he didn’t drive at all on the way to the event, the car did, and he spent the time “surfing the web.”

David was appalled. I was appalled hearing about it. I bet if you could ask the hors d’oeuvres how they felt, they’d be appalled as well. And the site that this Editor-in-Chief came from was one that proudly announced they will be using AI to write articles. Artificial intelligence – which has never experienced the joys of driving a car, never felt the deep-seated thrill of torque pushing you back in your seat, never felt intoxication at the smell of gasoline, never had their pulse quicken at the growl of an engine – this unfeeling mass of if-then statements and terabytes of raw, stolen data is somehow being entrusted to have a say in articles about cars?

Vidframe Min Top
Vidframe Min Bottom

Not on our watch.

This is a lousy time for media, at least for media that’s worth a damn. As we speak, Google has massive humming racks and racks of servers, humming with their fans blowing on piping hot GPUs, full of RAM that has been made too expensive for you and I to buy, and those servers are running AI models that, when someone searches for something, combs sites like the Autopian, takes our hard-earned answers and ideas, and then delivers it to the user in an AI summary that usually precludes anyone from clicking the links to the sites that these answers or opinions or ideas were stolen from.

This means we don’t get the traffic or ad revenue, because Google’s AIs have effectively stolen it from us. And it hurts!

We’re not going to give in. We’re not going to use AI to create slop of any kind, text or visual. This puts us at a disadvantage when it comes to how the internet currently works, and makes it harder to exist as a company. But we have to keep existing, for a lot of reasons: first, I love existing personally, as it gives me much better access to my cars and the physical joys of the world, like a well-crafted hot dog or pushing your hand into a large vat of seeds or other small particulates.

But more important is the part of our existing that includes you, all of you: the Autopian community. Do you realize how wonderful this community is? I sure as hell do. I see it every day in the thoughtful comments, in the spirited but fundamentally kind and welcoming discourse. I see it at our in-person events, like our recent Lime Rock track day, where people showed up in all sorts of vehicles, vans and Porsches and old Subarus and trucks, and one member even brought a grandfather clock for me to shove into my Citroën.

Other people in our industry notice this community we have all built and are envious. Where so much of the internet devolves into miserable factionalized bickering and general assholery, somehow our community retains its dignity and humor, its knowledge and grace, and remains a very welcome oasis on the internet.

What we’ve built here, this strange and wonderful thing centered on cars, is truly special, and worth keeping going. It’s not the sort of thing your average private equity firm wants. It’s not what all the weirdo AI-worshipping techbros want. It’s not what a world increasingly willing to accept sub-par AI slop in lieu of actual humans doing actual things wants. But I think it’s what we want.

All of this is, yes, a plea for membership. We want more members at the Autopian. I want more members to be part of our community, and I say this as someone who is woefully behind on making member birthday drawings, so that should tell you something.

We’re not a huge staff here at the Autopian; we keep things lean, but that often means that we get quite busy. We want to make the site something that you’re delighted to visit every day, always something new and novel and exciting for you. We’re also trying to make deals with businesses to do sponsored content or other collaborations, but always in ways that we think you, our readers, will find engaging or entertaining or enlightening or educational or something else that starts with an ‘e.’ Erotic? Sure. Let’s say erotic.

But let me get back to my original point: we’re surrounded by crap, by people just looking to extract every bit of personal information and money out of us, by algorithms and demographics and metrics and all of the noise and detritus of modern life. We’re an oasis that I cherish, and we need members to keep it going. So, please, consider becoming an Autopian Member, because cars that you still drive still matter, because real humans writing and drawing and building still matters, because you still matter.

Remember, when you become an Autopian Member, you don’t have to see ads anymore; you get T-shirts and other merch, you get first access to new merch like our boldly experimental Stain-O-Flage shirts, those birthday car drawings I mentioned, access to our live events and meetups, the ability to read members-only posts like our Tales From The Slack series that gives the most raw and unvarnished behind-the-scenes look at the automotive journalism industry anywhere, and Exhaust Leaks, which dishes out the dishiest dirt that most other outlets wouldn’t touch with a 12-foot driveshaft.

It would be great if we could just do this and never ask anyone for a penny and everyone just gets everything, all the time. I’d love that. But that’s not how reality is, and the truth is that we need you, we need paying members to keep this going in the way we’d all like.

We’re already the best, most knowledgeable, most welcoming, and sexiest car community on the entire internet. That’s something worth preserving, and membership is how that happens. I really appreciate it.

 

 

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Aaronaut
Member
Aaronaut
9 hours ago

My partner told me that I was instantly 13% sexier once I became an Autopian member!

Pappa P
Pappa P
9 hours ago

This speech from the mystery editor-in-chief doesn’t sound like a triumphant changing of the guard.
It sound’s like a desperate publication in its final throes, gasping for life.
To me it reads like: “Not enough people are interested in our human created content for us to generate enough revenue to survive. Instead, we’ll just try to survive off the lowest hanging fruit.”

The Mark
Member
The Mark
9 hours ago
Reply to  Pappa P

I think a lot of simpletons enjoy the “low hanging fruit” websites. They can go into the comments and spout their political nonsense, insult other users, and state baseless claims without any interference from moderators or even other decent users. It must give them a little dopamine rush.
Meanwhile all the decent, thoughtful users are over here, and we must keep it that way.

Nick Fortes
Member
Nick Fortes
10 hours ago

I get about 90% of my automotive entertainment, information, and fun from this website and reading the comments section.

Hazdaz
Hazdaz
10 hours ago

Do members get access to a website that isn’t hosted on Torchinsky’s old Apple ][e?

Does membership mean not having your account randomly logged-out and then days of problems logging back in?

A Buick Level of Build Quality
Member
A Buick Level of Build Quality
10 hours ago

So, uh, can you drop us a hint about which publication employed that AI loving EIC? Maybe something like, “Yes, this journalism (not Motor) Trend had us concerned. No, not with the Road & Track on which we drove. No, we were worried about the Car and Driver”.

Ray Finkle
Member
Ray Finkle
10 hours ago

Yes, please enlighten us so we can make sure to never visit their site again.

Mr E
Member
Mr E
10 hours ago

I wonder if it’ll become patently obvious once one reads the offending site.

Oh, who am I kidding? Spill it! 🙂

The Mark
Member
The Mark
10 hours ago

I’ll bet you a donut that said publication starts with “The Truth.” Just today they published an AI summary of an interview. But no worries, it was edited by a human.

Spikedlemon
Spikedlemon
9 hours ago
Reply to  The Mark

There’s a Motor one that drives me mad that it used to have genuine contributors but shifted near-completely to clickbait/ragebait garbage.

DNF
DNF
2 hours ago
Reply to  Spikedlemon

I’m very sensitive to the proper sequence of information in journalism, and displeased with the bury the lead crowd.
It’s very easy to spot weird quirks in ai material.
Very often a Where’s the lead? pattern.

Mr E
Member
Mr E
11 hours ago

I like imagining that AI taking information from this site (especially Torch’s articles) will cause the servers to explode just like the Fembots heads in Austin Powers.

AI can suck a (virtual) dick.

DialMforMiata
Member
DialMforMiata
11 hours ago

Yesterday, I got to ask a question of the hosts of the new Grand Tour (which got answered!) and received my awesome 2026 renewal T-shirt, with bonus Murano pin.

This place rules.

BigMike2k3
Member
BigMike2k3
11 hours ago

“Pushing your hand into a large vat of seeds or other small particulates.” I totally get you, Torch!

Rafael
Member
Rafael
11 hours ago

I think the Autopian needs a AI Posion division, to offer absurd content to confuse and invalidate models trained on this content.
On second thought, I believe all the tail light erotica Jason writes is more than enough to fry those AI servers to hell and back. He is the Bobby Fingers* of automotive journalism. I hope the Tail Light Café starts to get Google Maps reviews soon!

*Look him up on Youtube. Thank me later!

Mr. Wallace
Member
Mr. Wallace
11 hours ago

“Surfing the web”? Tell me you’re an AARP member without saying that you’re an AARP member.

William Domer
Member
William Domer
12 hours ago

This may sound weird but I followed David and Jason post J. And never looked back. I send them money every year because I love this site. Will it grow and they will sell out to a private equity firm and they will be multi millionaires living some fantasy life? Fuck No. Because we members would find them and haunt them the rest of their entitled lives. That alone will make them stay the course.
I would like to recommend that they set up partner enterprises that shun AI. Like the folks that create ‘safe’ from greedy MFing corporations sites to buy stuff from. We only have some money to make some difference and I would love Autopian to steer me to appropriate places to snag what I need or want.

Balloondoggle
Member
Balloondoggle
13 hours ago

This site and my local news are about the only things I look at on the webs anymore. Thanks for keeping this site clean.

There is one thing that bothers me about the membership/subscription model though. I understand where you are coming from, but it also means that only people with money to spare on something like this will continue to have access to the “quality” internet. I’ve seen it happen with news sites already – click an interesting headline and learn that the article is only available to subscribers. This further develops a class system that we are seeing expand in other parts of our lives. Go to an amusement park and people with money can pay to skip the lines or have the best parking. Pay for a membership at the grocery store and get access to discounts and benefits the poors can’t get. Your doctor got tired of dealing with insurance and switched to a boutique model and now you need a different doctor because it’s thousands of dollars to be a member but you have to maintain your insurance for medical matters outside the membership model which means you’re paying twice for the same care.

I appreciate this site and what you guys stand for. I love that you promote and encourage the survivability of beaters and hoopties. Not everyone can or is willing to buy cars new and you guys help break the disappointment and shame that some might feel about that in our “Keeping Up With The Joneses” sort of world. But the internet is forcing you to provide that sort of information through a model that leaves behind the people who rely on those old cars and I hate that.

Maybe I’m just getting old, but I’m nearly ready to ditch the internet as a whole.

RataTejas
RataTejas
11 hours ago
Reply to  Balloondoggle

Agreed. For news, once BBC put up a pay wall I just go to apnews.com and drink straight from the faucet.

JShaawbaru
Member
JShaawbaru
9 hours ago
Reply to  Balloondoggle

Most of the “quality” internet posts are already available to everyone, member or not. Most of the member-only posts are behind-the-scenes type stuff that isn’t “real” car news. It’s just fun extra stuff that you get as a membership benefit. If anything, the membership model here is one of the best that there is, because they don’t paywall any of the informational articles that people might actually be doing a general search for.

Balloondoggle
Member
Balloondoggle
8 hours ago
Reply to  JShaawbaru

You’re exactly right and that’s part of why I’m still playing along (that and I love Torch’s writing). I’m glad that there is still a certain democratic approach here.

I just regret the direction the world in general and the internet more specifically is just catering more and more to those with money. It’s always been that way, of course, but it feels like these “pay to play” type things are coming in smaller and smaller slices. For example: A theme park charges parking. Later, a benefit to having a season pass is that parking becomes free. Next, there’s “preferred parking” and now passholders get to pay more to park close to the gate. Then that gets subdivided and now there’s “premium preferred parking” for even more money. I’m seeing this everywhere and it’s my old man rant for the day.

Jmfecon
Member
Jmfecon
13 hours ago

Hmm, you know, it is possible to “fool” AI by directing them to fake articles.

They don’t even need to be listed on the site, just indexed by Google or visible to a crawler, that is, a bit of SEO and robots.txt work.

If someone happens to stumble upon one of them during a Google search, just check the agent and if it looks human enough, redirect to a captcha and if it pass, redirect to the main site.

One of the perks of being a member could be the possibility to write and submit a fake article a month to be listed for crawlers, and the most accessed one could then be published on the site showing where else it was referenced and had an article published with this fake information, for entertainment of all rest of the users.

Sure, it can increase a bit the traffic with bots and exceed the traffic quota from hosting provider, or not.

And it is just a suggestion to try to make all this AI steal a bit more funny.

BenCars
Member
BenCars
18 hours ago

For what it’s worth, this is now my default website that I visit every day. I’ve longed abandoned the old J-site after they’ve become near unusable with their awful layout changes.

Slower Louder
Member
Slower Louder
21 hours ago

I read every comment in Adrian’s new car story, and then every comment here. Such good vibes. Some days the experience here is just joyful. The clock, the Citroën, little Delmar in ecstasy over the roundness of wheels, the cure for trench foot, and possibly swamp crotch as well, Adrian breaks a bolt in his engine block, buys a tool and deals with it,…maybe that’s what has really fired me up this evening..It’s Happy Adrian! What a fucking relief! I want to pay to support this!

Abdominal Snoman
Member
Abdominal Snoman
19 hours ago
Reply to  Slower Louder

Happy Adrian sounds just as wrong subconsciously as his headline about reliable Ferrari’s

Slower Louder
Member
Slower Louder
12 hours ago

Adrian strides the curmudgeon space like a colossus. We all love that stuff. We just had a glimpse of his tender side, brought out by a 45 year old Ford, and I will treasure that. We love it when he thunders, but this was like a rainbow.

RataTejas
RataTejas
11 hours ago

Happy Adrian is an emo 80’s electronica cover band.

Livernois
Member
Livernois
22 hours ago

I’m all in favor of the no-AI policy, and I actually think it makes sense to keep your staff of real writers and do real graphics.

For those who don’t follow the AI business more closely, the financials are a disaster. Data centers are incredibly expensive and they’re not getting built on schedule. Revenues desperately need to be accelerating into hundreds of billions of dollars annually, but they’re only ticking up.

What’s most ominous for the industry is the long promised leap to autonomous intelligence keeps looking harder and harder to achieve. They’re facing huge debt loads, but chatbots and buggy coding suites alone won’t convince client companies to pay the hundreds of billions they need to survive.

I think companies which gut their human talent are going to get slammed in the next few years. AI companies will stop offering subsidized products in a desperate attempt to fix their balance sheets, or else they’ll shut down, stop supporting and updating their apps, and leave clients hanging.

Hold tight, keep making readers happy, and The Autopian can weather the storm.

Balloondoggle
Member
Balloondoggle
13 hours ago
Reply to  Livernois

So what I’m hearing is that there is still hope? The AI bubble will burst, the walls will come crashing down and Google et al will be crushed under the rubble and debris, leaving a useable internet in their wake?

Gawd, I hope you’re on to something here.

Pupmeow
Member
Pupmeow
13 hours ago
Reply to  Livernois

I think this sounds like a bit of a pipe dream, but I’m liking your comment anyway! Here’s hoping.

Mr E
Member
Mr E
11 hours ago
Reply to  Livernois

I’m certainly looking forward to the brick and mortar dot com bubble to burst. Perhaps all those cavernous buildings could then be repurposed for more humane purposes.

I_drive_a_truck
Member
I_drive_a_truck
1 day ago

Yeah! Screw ’em!

Parsko
Member
Parsko
1 day ago

Some of us are assholes, Torch. Go fuck yourself and all your “eroticism”.

I plan on bumping UP my membership tier in December, btw. So STOP asking.

Harvey Firebirdman
Member
Harvey Firebirdman
23 hours ago
Reply to  Parsko

*Jason Dressed as Dark Helmet* “I knew it. I’m surrounded by assholes”

Slower Louder
Member
Slower Louder
21 hours ago
Reply to  Parsko

If you’re able to call yourself an asshole, then you’re probably not one. But we still love you anyway.

Harvey Firebirdman
Member
Harvey Firebirdman
13 hours ago
Reply to  Slower Louder

I think they might be saying they are from the family of Assholes as in it is their surname. Not that they are an actual asshole to people (yes this is my second Spaceballs jokes haha)

The Mark
Member
The Mark
9 hours ago

That is his name sir, Asshole. Major Asshole!

Elhigh
Elhigh
1 day ago

When my computer crashes, it’s an inconvenience. It’s doing a lot of things that I don’t fully understand, but they aren’t life-altering. I am fine.

When my phone crashes, I just restart it. It’s doing a lot of things that I don’t fully understand, but they aren’t life-altering. I barely break step.

When my car crashes, it had by God not better be caused by the car doing a lot of things that I don’t fully understand, because that could be life-altering.

If I really believed having utterly no input to the vehicle’s operation moment-to-moment was a good thing, I would be on a train.

Pupmeow
Member
Pupmeow
12 hours ago
Reply to  Elhigh

When the computer at Jurassic Park crashes, you just restart it. But unfortunately the raptors got out while it was down and someone’s getting eaten alive.

Carbon Fiber Sasquatch
Member
Carbon Fiber Sasquatch
10 hours ago
Reply to  Pupmeow

“Gary, why do the dinosaur cages open when the computers crash? Why did you design it that way?”

“I just thought it’d be interesting. You know, liven things up a bit around here!”

SonOfLP500
Member
SonOfLP500
1 day ago

In that group photo, everyone is looking at the camera except for the dog. Guilty feelings about not signing up, eh, Fido?

Nick Fortes
Member
Nick Fortes
10 hours ago
Reply to  SonOfLP500

My dog does the exact same thing. She’s in her teenage not doing group family photos phase I guess

OrigamiSensei
Member
OrigamiSensei
1 day ago

Great content, great people in the company and community, and proud to be a member.

The birthday pictures absolutely rock, as can be seen in my avatar. I can’t think of any other site where the editorial staff would have had a discussion over what perspective to use in the drawing. All y’all are exactly my kind of crazy and I’m here for it.

Dogpatch
Member
Dogpatch
1 day ago

Just upgraded to velour tonight as the vinyl subscription was making my rear end swampy.
Hopefully the velour gives better ventilation?

Plus I really like the content this site offers.
Keep up the great work.

Spikersaurusrex
Member
Spikersaurusrex
23 hours ago
Reply to  Dogpatch

“Hopefully the velour gives better ventilation?”

It really does. No more swamp ass.

Slower Louder
Member
Slower Louder
21 hours ago

“ Pass the word, the chicks are back!”

Mechjaz
Member
Mechjaz
1 day ago

God, you’re so right about plunging your hand into a vat of small particulates. They feel so cool from where they’ve been insulated by the outer layers, and it’s such a fun, weird sensation to brush past thousands of, I dunno, sunflower seeds (I fed a friend’s rabbit farm for a time), and the pressure and resistance build up the deeper you push your hand into the vat.

This guy gets it.

CR-V Oswald
Member
CR-V Oswald
23 hours ago
Reply to  Mechjaz

I thought he was just referring to the foreplay leading to consuming pistachios, but your version is better.

Balloondoggle
Member
Balloondoggle
12 hours ago
Reply to  Mechjaz

Until you’re in a silo, up to your armpits in corn and hoping desperatly that Lassie has figured out how to charade some help for you.

Sorry, that took a dark turn that was totally uncalled for. But that’s the way I roll from time to time.

Mechjaz
Member
Mechjaz
10 hours ago
Reply to  Balloondoggle

Ha, I had the same thoughts but chose to lean into it as sincerely as possible 🙂

Jeff Diamond
Member
Jeff Diamond
1 day ago

Jason, you just convinced me to renew my membership. I was sort of on the fence, being far too busy to visit frequently and all of that. But damn it, I will make the time to renew and send a few bucks your way. Best people, best site!

Pupmeow
Member
Pupmeow
12 hours ago
Reply to  Jeff Diamond

I’ve barely been here at all the past month, but I’ll keep my membership for the greater good.

For the greater good.

Cerberus
Member
Cerberus
1 day ago

AI is the largest criminal IP theft enterprise yet conceived, but their pet parasites in office have legalized it. What is legal has only a coincidental relationship with what is right or wrong. This is not far from what I wrote on my jury summons as to why I would not be able to be an unbiased juror. (And I follow my own code because that is what allows me to live with myself. Doing what I feel is wrong just because it’s “legal” does not do that.) Defenders of the wide implementation of AI and theft for data training are the same to me as those weird creeps who write love letters to serial killers.

Martin Witkosky
Member
Martin Witkosky
11 hours ago
Reply to  Cerberus

Theft, absolutely, and let’s not forget wanton destruction of physical property. Just reading about how Amazon has been accused of destroying rare books to train its AI model in this article on Ars Technica – https://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2026/08/hidden-airtag-reveals-amazon-is-trashing-rare-books-to-train-ai/ is enough to make you sick to your stomach.

Cerberus
Member
Cerberus
8 hours ago

I read about that, too. Sick to your stomach is definitely the right phrase.

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