As I hope you’re aware, yesterday was the Autopian’s 1rd Members Only Track Day at Lime Rock Park, and I’m delighted to say it was a huge success. I think we had over 70 people show up, a crapton of amazing cars ranging from a Renault 4 to a bunch of lovely Porsche 911s, Jags, BMWs, a conversion van, a mobile repair shop, and so much more, all of which were sent on the track with ruthless, unhinged abandon. It was glorious.
We’re going to tell you all about it, but we have to get all the pictures collected, all of us collected – I need to get on the road this morning to get home – and that’ll take a few days, but I promise you’ll hear all about it, and, ideally, feel sharp pangs of regret for missing it. I’m kidding! I mean sharp pangs of excitement at the idea that we’ll do more, maybe by you! Also, maybe sharp pangs of gas pain, in which case I think you should take some time in the bathroom.
But one thing I can tell you about is a miraculous achievement I believe I have achieved, miraculously, with the Citroën 2CV I dragged to the event. It was an achievement that required the delightfully unexpected assist from an Autopian named David (not co-founder, rust-addled David, a different one) and one that, while I haven’t officially checked it, I think qualifies as a track record for Lime Rock Park, and perhaps the whole Northeast, and perhaps even the nation.
Probably not the world. But still. Anyway, it all started with a gift, a gift based on something specific I’ve written about before: Citroën’s weird fetish for sticking grandfather clocks into 2CVs:
Seriously, it felt like any time there was the flimsiest reason to, they’d shove a grandfather clock into a 2CV. You’d think watches were banned in France, and this was the only way they could tell time. Anyway, this is very much A Thing.
So look what Dave brought to the track day:
A freaking grandfather clock. Which we, of course, then put in the 2CV, just like Citroën trained us to.
Again, a freaking grandfather clock. David is someone who really knows how to commit to the bit. Who the hell brings a grandfather clock to a track day? David, that’s who, and hell yeah he did.
I was, of course, surprised and delighted. And, yes, I was more than happy to cram that thing in my very limber car and tear ass around the track:
I was giving rides around the track to members, showing off how in a 2CV you never need to use the brakes on a turn because the thing can’t flip over. Sure, it’ll lean until you can lick the pavement out the window, but it will not flop over. Even with a grandfather clock sticking out of the roof.
I mean, look:
Actually, I suspect that the clock made the car even more stable, acting as a sort of carefully-designed wing to add downforce.
I drove it all over the autocross track, and also on the main track when we did a parade lap, which is why I think I set a track record. You see, I’m pretty certain that no one has ever driven a car with a grandfather clock in it around the track at Lime Rock. Which means I set the Fastest Lap for a Car with a Grandfather Clock in It track record! In a 2CV! Holy crap!
Feel free to check me on that, of course, but I have a feeling it’s true. The Autopian now holds a Fastest Lap Speed Record for a grandfather-clock-carrying car. That’s been our dream forever, or at least 15 minutes after David rolled up with a grandfather clock in his Maverick.
Dude brought a grandfather clock to the track. Amazing.
Having a grandfather clock in a vehicle sticking out should be its own class on the track. The lap is disqualified if the clock falls out. Maybe have grandfather clock races.
Okay everybody,
Jeeps get rubber ducks randomly stuck on the dash.
C2Vs get grandfather clocks randomly shoved through the open roof.
Important tip! Thanks.
This speech is my recital
I think it’s very vital
To rock a chime at Rock-n-Lime
It’s Tricky is the title
It’s tricky to rock a chime to rock a chime at Rock-n-Lime it’s tricky
It’s trick it’s trick it’s tricky
It’s tricky to rock a chime to rock a chime at Rock-n-Lime it’s tricky
It’s tr-tr-tr-tr tricky
In this place the drivers race and have to keep the time
Some suckers mock my giant clock and try to dis my chime
In my 2CV just believe me it’s a Gallic ride
Tinted windows don’t mean nothin’, Father Time’s inside.
It’s tricky to rock a chime to rock a chime at Rock-n-Lime it’s tricky
How is it, Dave?
It’s tricky tricky tricky tricky
It’s tricky to rock a chime to rock a chime at Rock-n-Lime it’s tricky
Tricky tricky tricky
Did Jason set a record? Only TIME will tell…
I started the article thinking he was going to use the grandfather clock as a lap timer. I suspect a sundial would also work.
That was also where my head went.
Extremely impressive record.
Oh thank you for this. Perhaps you could have asked an actual grandfather to ride shotgun with the clock for extra weight balance. Had I been there I would have offered up my services. Perhaps Road America will be in your future? If so budget at 3 weeks to get here in that beauty of French chic
I’m glad I made time to read all about this record setting event!
That’s it.
Close the site. Maybe the entire internet.
We have reached peak Autopian.
Thank you all for coming.
Even if it’s not in a current category of track records there, I bet they can grandfather it in.
::applause::
For a second, I thought “a track day without a helmet?” Then I realized what you were driving.
Tell me David brought it in a 1973 Maverick and maybe I’ll be impressed.
Race against the clock < Race with the clock