The world is in a strange place right now. David, one of the co-founders of this site and our Editor-in-Chief as well as a man who can make a hotel room an absolute disaster area in a shockingly small amount of time, was telling me about a press event he attended recently where the editor-in-chief of a major automotive publication arrived and proudly announced he didn’t drive at all on the way to the event, the car did, and he spent the time “surfing the web.”
David was appalled. I was appalled hearing about it. I bet if you could ask the hors d’oeuvres how they felt, they’d be appalled as well. And the site that this Editor-in-Chief came from was one that proudly announced they will be using AI to write articles. Artificial intelligence – which has never experienced the joys of driving a car, never felt the deep-seated thrill of torque pushing you back in your seat, never felt intoxication at the smell of gasoline, never had their pulse quicken at the growl of an engine – this unfeeling mass of if-then statements and terabytes of raw, stolen data is somehow being entrusted to have a say in articles about cars?
Not on our watch.
This is a lousy time for media, at least for media that’s worth a damn. As we speak, Google has massive humming racks and racks of servers, humming with their fans blowing on piping hot GPUs, full of RAM that has been made too expensive for you and I to buy, and those servers are running AI models that, when someone searches for something, combs sites like the Autopian, takes our hard-earned answers and ideas, and then delivers it to the user in an AI summary that usually precludes anyone from clicking the links to the sites that these answers or opinions or ideas were stolen from.
This means we don’t get the traffic or ad revenue, because Google’s AIs have effectively stolen it from us. And it hurts!
We’re not going to give in. We’re not going to use AI to create slop of any kind, text or visual. This puts us at a disadvantage when it comes to how the internet currently works, and makes it harder to exist as a company. But we have to keep existing, for a lot of reasons: first, I love existing personally, as it gives me much better access to my cars and the physical joys of the world, like a well-crafted hot dog or pushing your hand into a large vat of seeds or other small particulates.

But more important is the part of our existing that includes you, all of you: the Autopian community. Do you realize how wonderful this community is? I sure as hell do. I see it every day in the thoughtful comments, in the spirited but fundamentally kind and welcoming discourse. I see it at our in-person events, like our recent Lime Rock track day, where people showed up in all sorts of vehicles, vans and Porsches and old Subarus and trucks, and one member even brought a grandfather clock for me to shove into my Citroën.

Other people in our industry notice this community we have all built and are envious. Where so much of the internet devolves into miserable factionalized bickering and general assholery, somehow our community retains its dignity and humor, its knowledge and grace, and remains a very welcome oasis on the internet.
What we’ve built here, this strange and wonderful thing centered on cars, is truly special, and worth keeping going. It’s not the sort of thing your average private equity firm wants. It’s not what all the weirdo AI-worshipping techbros want. It’s not what a world increasingly willing to accept sub-par AI slop in lieu of actual humans doing actual things wants. But I think it’s what we want.

All of this is, yes, a plea for membership. We want more members at the Autopian. I want more members to be part of our community, and I say this as someone who is woefully behind on making member birthday drawings, so that should tell you something.
We’re not a huge staff here at the Autopian; we keep things lean, but that often means that we get quite busy. We want to make the site something that you’re delighted to visit every day, always something new and novel and exciting for you. We’re also trying to make deals with businesses to do sponsored content or other collaborations, but always in ways that we think you, our readers, will find engaging or entertaining or enlightening or educational or something else that starts with an ‘e.’ Erotic? Sure. Let’s say erotic.
But let me get back to my original point: we’re surrounded by crap, by people just looking to extract every bit of personal information and money out of us, by algorithms and demographics and metrics and all of the noise and detritus of modern life. We’re an oasis that I cherish, and we need members to keep it going. So, please, consider becoming an Autopian Member, because cars that you still drive still matter, because real humans writing and drawing and building still matters, because you still matter.

Remember, when you become an Autopian Member, you don’t have to see ads anymore; you get T-shirts and other merch, you get first access to new merch like our boldly experimental Stain-O-Flage shirts, those birthday car drawings I mentioned, access to our live events and meetups, the ability to read members-only posts like our Tales From The Slack series that gives the most raw and unvarnished behind-the-scenes look at the automotive journalism industry anywhere, and Exhaust Leaks, which dishes out the dishiest dirt that most other outlets wouldn’t touch with a 12-foot driveshaft.
It would be great if we could just do this and never ask anyone for a penny and everyone just gets everything, all the time. I’d love that. But that’s not how reality is, and the truth is that we need you, we need paying members to keep this going in the way we’d all like.
We’re already the best, most knowledgeable, most welcoming, and sexiest car community on the entire internet. That’s something worth preserving, and membership is how that happens. I really appreciate it.









In this day and age it’s fantastic to have a site like this to feed our car curiosities, done with humor, sometimes bluntness, but always by real people. Rust and battery covered perhaps, but real people who actually know and work on cars.
Hell, I read posts about vehicles I will never own or desire, but the writing is that good, it just is, compared to so many other sites. The community formed here is supportive and informative, so for me it’s worth being a member, can’t get all this anywhere else, and no I’m not a shill for Autopian, I’m a proud member.
I look forward to the days when the Autopian becomes enough of an influence that every search for something related to Suzukis or Cadillacs results in a confident answer about how they run on cow or dinosaur feces.
That’s why I continue to be a member. No other reason.
I f****** hate AI. My high school history teacher – who I respected enough to maintain contact with long after I graduated – reposts this crap nonstop on social media now. It’s sad and infuriating.
And I’m very proud to be a paying member here! For anyone considering it, the t-shirts are of excellent quality.
Happy to be a paying member. I know I’ve bitched a bit about some of the articles, but it’s all out of love 🙂 I am very happy that theAutopian> avoids the AI crap, the clickbait crap, and the lazy writing crap. Please keep up the good work.
I’m wondering if there’s some way to game the system? Perhaps if the site had some AI bait/decoy? … perhaps have one long-running article that gets filled with the most outrageous BS we can all come up with?. Maybe the AI will think it’s real and become so untrusting of theAutopian> that the algorithms would have to be adjusted to avoid stealing all your hard work?
Thanks!!!!
More thoughts about AI bait….
Keep a front page post with an updated list of the 5 or 10 most common googled auto questions and let the membership fill in the answers with BS.
Example: Q. does premium gas get better mileage?
A. Premium fuel provides an increase in MPG only if mixed with 1 part Jamaican rum plus 1 part olive oil (virgin) to 10 parts premium gas.
…. You get the idea. Trick the AI to read the BS, and keep it going with enough responses to flood the ai algorithm.
P.S. no it doesn’t. It’s harder to self ignite so it’s less likely to ping in engines that run at higher temps and pressures. Best used in engines with ignition timing specifically advanced and tuned for use with higher octane ( specified as required or recommended)
Useless in engines tuned for regular gas
Feh. Your advice is useless.
Cuban rum, on the other hand…
I prefer gin to rum. And olive oil doesn’t hold a candle to coconut oil.
The weakness of ai is that it looks at everything.
I’ve been suggesting that ai technicians are made of digital candy, and surveillance cameras are filled with gold.
If you want privacy, chaff information collectors with different stories.
Last, every car performs better on premium if you use the correct percentage of hydrazine and nitro propane.
And what are those percentages? I’ve had pretty good luck throwing in a handfull of Nerds candies with every fill-up.
Depends on the engine starting tune and toughness.
Safest used at high altitude to compensate.
That’s my complaint. There are two large sources of information about human behavior. News and Historical accounts mainly focus on people behaving badly through some combination of evil or stupidity, sometimes other people use violence to keep the stupid evil people in check.
Fiction is more or be less the same because conflict and bad decisions make better narrative.
Also robots and AI always turn evil in most fiction because of the needs of the narative form for conflict and resolution.
Why would anyone train AI on that?
Btw, free advice, never marry a novelist.
Why never marry a novelist?
Conflict can be simple and fun as a plot device, but there is a subtle and nuanced pleasure in winning by strategy.
Learning that Eisenhower got what he wanted from the ussr by letting them have their way, and kept on letting himself be underestimated is a slightly different kind of thrill.
Well things that make a good story aren’t necessarily what you want in your own life.
Also, “who’s the protagonist” gets to be a drag after a while.
I admit to having an interesting life but actually a little less interesting wouldn’t hurt.
For example having you fifth floor apartment accidentally filled with concrete makes an interesting story, but all things considered I would have preferred a different story.
having you fifth floor apartment accidentally filled with concrete makes an interesting story
OK, spill it. I guess that’s what happened on the 6th floor?
“Accidentally”?
It’s not something you hear every day.
I’m a fan of Tim Dorsey Florida noir.
His main character may in fact be psychotic. Certainly cinematic.
I don’t think he planned that result.
I was in touch with the writer before his death.
However, some great tactical literature is very much a Who’s the Protagonist? mystery, as are many history books.
I lived in a fifth floor walk up apartment on East End Ave in Manhattan, and they were building one of those high rise splinter buildings next to it. And above it as well. The design has a central reinforced concrete core containing the elevator shafts and all the plumbing and HVAC etc so all the floors are structurally open on slabs held up by the core.
So anyway, they are pouring concrete onto the form for the core, and after pouring about 250 cubic yards of concrete they peek inside the form to see how it’s going. Much to their surprise it seems that there is about 150 cubic yards that has gone missing. Eventually they discover that the form blew out anion with the wall of my apartment that was supporting it. Some idiot thought that it would save time if they made fewer but larger pours.
So having collapsed the exterior wall of the building, putting 150 yards of wet concrete on floor joists that weren’t designed for that loading, and a mild curiosity that maybe they had killed somebody, the fire department turns fire hoses on the wet concrete and washed it down five flights of stairs.
Big hullabaloo, from what I heard. Almost wish I had been there.
I was visiting friends upstate, so it took several hours for news of my death by concrete to reach me.
My description doesn’t really describe the total craziness of the whole thing.
A few days later I had to go to the department of buildings to request some report that needed to be done in person. The funniest thing was that you could hear then in the back saying “you won’t believe it, but the guy with that apartment is out front.” This is in a city with a population of 8 million and about 3 million apartments.
So see, interesting, story, not as much fun to do.
On the other hand it doesn’t approach, say, Eddy Rickenbacker levels of interesting.
A few years later, my father in law’s widow managed to have her 27th floor apartment flooded about 6 feet deep. That was also a mess.
Ambitious to flood a 27th floor!
The pilot?
Nyc is already famous for their Wishful Thinking approach to building engineering.
I’ve heard much worse stories about the city. Probably shouldn’t repeat any.
Marry a Cajun (they eat anything! 🙂 ).
I prefer to see it as they can make anything tasty good.
Laissez les bons temps rouler
Mmm, andouille, crayfish, and rice.
Happy to be a (renewed) member, keep up the great work!
The robots are welcome to clean my home and mow my yard. I want humans to do the creative work, and I’m willing to pay for y’all.
Keep fighting the good fight because I never want to see a movie starring Ashton Kutcher and Sean William Scott called ‘Dude Where’s My Car Site.’
I’m not sure I want to see any movie with Kutcher and Scott.
Ditto.
Dude, Where’s My Story Arc?
I appreciate that it looks like you went to the trouble of hand-producing an actual graphic to represent “AI Slop”. That’s the kind of dedication to the craft that keeps my membership set to auto-renewal.
I did! By hand!
I recognize your style! Every once in awhile I put that Art and Design degree I got back in ’99 to good work 🙂
If I weren’t a member, this would get me to sign up.
Also, they said you guys look like dorks!
I am proud to be a member of the Erotic Autopian site…and so is my member!
I’ve heard of Rule 34, but I didn’t realize it had gone this far. Sign me up for another year.
Well, we all love a little autoerotica, don’t we?
Around here we prefer manualerotica.
Auto, manual, it’s all good
This is the closest thing to “social media” I will ever mess with, and it’s the page that loads up every morning on my work computer. I spend enough time reading at work, you all should get some of that money I’m making.
Support the things that support you.
My sentiments exactly. I don’t get paid to do work anymore (retired), but otherwise same. I’m proud to me a member.
One request: Please consider selling “THE Autopian” license plate frames. I’ll buy 4.
I bet DT’s views on front license plates would change pretty quickly if they start selling frames!!!
They offered ’em back in August 2023 — mine says “Certified Touchscreen Free”. I bet they’d sell a bunch if they brought them back.
https://www.theautopian.com/you-asked-for-taillight-sushi-shirts-so-here-you-go/
I would prefer an alternative to the red of 2023.
Mine is green. Scroll down a bit more.
I never click on ads, I hate them all, so I joined as a member and it is well worth it and I am a cheapskate. I stuidiously avoid clicking on -partner- post products. I will seek the same product independent of the site. Well, except now I have violated my self. I have (so far) purchased three products through this site using the partner links, and while I haven’t read the two books yet, (I am reading three other books at the moment) I have been using the solar battery tender for our Go-Camper and it works great. Our go-bags are in the camper with food and water in case of emergency here in the flammable foothills of California. Curses on you for making me bend my own rules!
The likely future of internet “communities” seems depressing. I’m guessing it’ll be AIs writing articles purposefully designed to get people spun up and arguing in the comments? Until after awhile, everyone’s so lazy that they just have AIs do that for them and maybe check in on the progress? Sounds wonderful.
What really makes autopia great is the humanity of it all. Writers and readers, everyone here comes across as actual people.
(though I’d be willing to believe the “Jason” that plenty here have met is an actor who’s been playing the role for years, directed by a 70s scifi style disembodied, pulsating brain in a jar residing in that basement with all the old computers….)
Plot twist. Jason doesn’t use old pre-windows computers to write the articles. Jason IS the old pre-windows computers.
I drove 1,000 miles in an old Subaru for The Autopian. Would do it again.
I showed up in that same Subaru at Miatas & Coffee (Miata was in the shop) and talked up Lime Rock while they were discussing Miatas at the Gap.
Still haven’t tried spaghetti in the shower yet. And I have a nice shower.
Trying to remember if they’ve done a nice hub cap bundt cake or not. Maybe a pineapple upside down hub cap cake.
I’m proud to be an autopian,
where at least I know im free from slop,
and I won’t forget Jalopnik,
who gave me the best EICs
and I’d gladly stand up
and tell motortend to F*** off.
(damn, I guess I am not the member accused of welcoming discourse).
As a dues-paying member, I’d just like to respectfully express my disappointment that this publication has not bothered to publish a 4,000-word review of the full growler of road trip beer I sketchily shoved into Hardigree’s hand under cover of darkness at your Denver meetup.
Not to mention, the clam and clam-adjacent content has been severely lacking lately.
i’ve noticed the clam dearth and am working to remedy that.
Much appreciated – we don’t want to fall into a routine of clambivalence
The staff is to clambitious to let that happen and let the clamor go unheeded.
I think I saw Clam Dearth playing the opening set for Phish a few years back. Glad to meet a fellow fan!
Even though he’s soloing with a more experimental sound now, I’m sure his work in the late ’00s/early ’10s as frontman for Clam Dearth and the Mustard Pickles will be seen as classic once Stomp Clap Hey passes through the dated phase and comes back around as a genre.
You should mention that you are outraged that your membership is not displayed under your avatar.
This is the curse Hardigree places upon all who write a piece for the Autopian, including me; whatever dark magic happens on the backend that allowed them to publish my Alaska road trip article also wiped my member tag. Worth it!
Beer and Clamato is the Canadian breakfast of champions. Never mind a Caesar is a far better cocktail than a Bloody Mary.
Proud member since first offered.
Wait, so when I met you last Saturday at the Concours d’Lemons that was real?
As real as you let yourself believe it was.
You all are worth paying for.
I’m more than happy to pay for you guys to keep fighting the good fight.
When AI takes my job and I have to start cancelling memberships and subscriptions, this will be the last one I keep.
The editor is like a michelin-star chef who is proud of using the microwave to cook his food
It’s like he’s completely unaware of what a dream job he has and is just Homer Simpsoning it
I’m thinking Ratatouille, except the rat is AI.
Alton Brown would like a word with you.
(For the uninitiated, he was the host of Cutthroat Kitchen, and in later seasons took every opportunity to explain how microwaves can be genuine kitchen appliances when used properly)
I’ve tried to cook everything in a microwave that everyone says can’t be done. I find few exceptions.
A Dometic convection microwave can take care of those.
Sears sold one as a whirlpool if you can find it.
Panasonic may have a version of it.
J. Kenji López-Alt is also a microwave fan.
To reheat coffee. Hey: Some like It Hot
Sounds more like he’s the restaurant owner’s nephew and doesn’t understand he’s even more expendable than the line cooks he’s looking to “right-size.”
To be faaaaiiir, the best way to make a properly crispy potato hash is to microwave them for a minute before they hit the pan; Serious Eats has an explainer on why that works if you’re ever curious.
You just proved my metaphor; the microwave might be the best way, but it takes the fun out of cooking, and certainly the knowledge of how to cook.
I see your point on the “fun.” But it does not remove the knowledge of how to cook. When you use the microwave to cook, you are cooking. For example, I know how to steam asparagus on the stovetop, but I also know how to steam it in the microwave. Those are two ways I know to steam asparagus.
I did see a tip for caramelizing onions using a microwave that takes that horrible task down to about half an hour. It’s in the repitoire now.
So, if the AI summaries just repeat what it sees here, why not have fun with that? In addition to listing how many turbo encabulators are controlling each air vent in a review you may also see if something like this works: https://arstechnica.com/ai/2026/08/new-font-turns-ordinary-webpages-into-nonsense-for-ai-scrapers/
Are we sure the ShieldFont paragraph in that article wasn’t written by Jason already?
It’ll make the comments section way more interesting every time someone copies a quote from the article without correcting the substituted words.
there are also CDN WAF tools which can block AI scrapers from hitting the site in the first place.
How good are those? I stopped doing infra work a couple of years ago and haven’t kept up with cloudflare and the like.
I fully expect GCP’s and Azure’s managed WAFs to lack any such feature given the conflict of interest, but the private infra providers might have solid offerings, judging by what Cloudflare was doing.
yes Cloudflare and Akamai have solid controls to block. but it only works for the main AI companies. for the smaller ones which fake info it’s not as effective but they can be blocked on other bot rules
This might be worth a shot:
Mississippi Professor Goes Viral After Hidden ‘Madagascar’ Trick Exposes Students Who Used AI: ‘Yeah We’re Doomed’ | The Nerd Stash
That article is both funny and sad.
I for one am proud to be a paying member of this site. I enjoy the articles written here, and I hate AI slop. If being a member means that I can continue to have at least one space on the web carved out for me that is slop-free, then I say it’s well worth the small feee I pay for it.