I have a problem, dear readers. I’m not on any drugs (that I’m aware of) and my marriage is still going great! My problem is that I’m too stubborn to give up. I keep buying steaming piles of Piëch-era Volkswagen junk that break and suck money out of my bank account. Yet, I keep on buying more of them hoping things will work out better.
[Ed note: Oops, forgot about this one yesterday. – MH]
On Friday, we published my story about how I’ve purchased four Volkswagen Passat TDI wagons hoping to find the one that is perfect for me. For now, the fourth Passat appears to be that car, even if it’s a bit more rusty than I want it to be. Oh, and the limo tint windshield is too dark to see out of at nighttime and someone thought it would be a great idea to take an already shaky engine and improve on that experience by installing a polyurethane engine mount. It’s like driving a gosh-darned vibrator!
That article generated some warming responses and surprisingly, some relatable stories. I felt weird for buying four of the same car in a desperate search, but it turns out I’m not the only one to do that. So, thank you all for your comments, they made my weekend!
With that out of the way, here are some COTD nominations, maybe a couple of days late. A. Barth wins with:
“… It sank into the swamp, so I bought a second one. That sank into the swamp, so I bought a third one. That burned down, fell over, *then* sank into the swamp.
But the fourth one… stayed up!” ????
It’s a great reference to Monty Python and the Holy Grail:
Vetatur Fumare got me laughing with this bit:
Polyurethane engine bushings combined with balance shaft delete is hilarious.
Seriously, someone looked at the engine, which now vibrated more because of the balance shaft delete, and apparently thought that more vibrations would be a good thing. The silly part? Whoever did the poly mount likely considered putting in an OEM-style mount. In the back of the car is an unopened package housing an OEM mount, presumably purchased around the same time the poly mount was.
For another weekend comment, we have PaysOutAllNight with some Torch appreciation. This was a response to all of the sweet custom cars that Jason draws for all of you lovely people:
I have to mention that these are far better quality than I would have ever hoped for when I saw a website founder offer to draw a car for everyone who chips in at a certain level.
Amazing. I was expecting “Paying Bills With Spider Drawings” level of quality.
Well played, Torch. Your commitment to your obligations is absolutely incredible.
Finally, we have some low-key humor from Ben, who commented on Monday’s Morning Dump about Toyota and EVs:
Says the guy selling the Bees Forks.
In my experience 0% financing almost always involves giving up some direct cash incentives and is rarely a good deal, especially if you have a decent down payment. As always you have to do the math on how much interest it would save you over the course of the loan, but at best you generally break even and there’s no chance of refinancing later to a lower interest rate to make it an even better deal.
It took me a while to realize “Bees Forks” is “bZ4X.” There’s also some good advice in there, too. Always do the math before signing the dotted line on what seems like a good a deal. Have a great evening, everyone!
(Top Shot: EMI Films)
Woohoo! Honourable mention! Thanks, Mercedes.
Are they “Good Vibrations©️” ?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=apBWI6xrbLY
I still think the best possible meaning for bZ4X is “busy for sex”.
Thanks, Mercedes!
Not sure if this is good or bad, but that comment was written from memory. 🙂
Sooo, there’s, errr…a Eurovan Westfalia for sale across from our local high school. Been there for a good six months. Seems to have cute little curtains inside and what looks like a camper top. Seems to have a bit of rust under the doors. Price was mentioned to be 5 figures and starting with a 2.
As of a month ago, a dark red 1968 Ford LTD with a For Sale sign is parked next to it. Looks like a father and son thing.
Want coordinates ?
Huh ?
Huh ??
HUH ???
Reminded of this because of your engine mounts.
I remember the British magazine CAR having a section called the good, the bad and the ugly. Three quick lines to sum up all cars in the price/content section at the end. Whilst there were some with “nothing” listen on both good and bad, overall there was a lot of damning with faint praise.
The SEAT Arosa was a VW Lupo rebadge,
The good: sounds like a sex toy
The bad: vibrates like a sex toy
And no, I can’t remember the ugly.
The ugly: smells like a sex toy.
I loved those. I would read them in every issue, and when they updated the comments, I’d get so happy. I partially remember the Polski-Fiat 125p:
Good: Four headlamps
Bad: Everything behind them
My Toyota salesperson called it the BuzzyFour. They have none and do not want any.
Truly the sign of a winning recipe there.
And now A. Barth must bring us a Piechmobile.
But he needs to place it besides this Piechmobile. Only slightly higher so you get a two-level effect with a little path running down the middle.
A path!! A path!!
I am a shrubber. My name is Roger the Shrubber. I arrange, design, and sell shrubberies.
You should be sacked for that comment
Møøse trained by Yutte Hermsgervørdenbrøtbørda
Special Møøse Effects Olaf Prot.
Well shamutin the business. To you too.
Ni !!!
Oh, what sad times are these when passing ruffians can say Ni at will to old ladies. There is a pestilence upon this land. Nothing is sacred. Even those who arrange and design shrubberies are under considerable economic stress at this period in history
I can’t imagine having to sell one of these when customers are always going to compare it to a RAV4 Hybrid or Prime. I can only imagine someone getting out of a RAV4, then going to the Letter Salad and periodically having a confused, “Uh…” or “Why” as a response to some of the differences, to just end up getting a RAV4 anyways.
It’s really going to be a mess in a year or so when there’s a new RAV4.
I get the impression that Toyota has no interest in selling them – they’re not even listed in Toyota’s build and price tool in Canada.
But I’ve been in the back of one – had it as an Uber – and yeah from what I could see I wouldn’t want one either if I was a dealer.
Funny passat wagon story, This Saturday afternoon I came home from watching the Rugby World Cup final to find a passat wagon abandoned in my driveway with the windows fogged over, the fan running so loud I and a cop thought the motor was running and the floors covered in standing water. after talking to some neighbors and watching their ring camera footage. a tow truck dropped it off at the wrong address. It finally got home many hours later. Passat wagons are something.
What a surreal homecoming!
Like people getting mad that they can’t rebuild their house for the fourth time in a flood/fire/avalanche/mothra zone
I’ve gone with “Busyforks” when I talk about it, including in real life.
Yes, I thought this was the designated pronunciation.
It can also be an astromech droid from Star Wars. BZ, that stabilizer’s broken loose again. See if you can’t lock it down.
Clearly this is in reference to Mercedes’ vibrating VW.