Home » Even Naomi Campbell Can’t Make The BMW XM Look Good

Even Naomi Campbell Can’t Make The BMW XM Look Good

Velvet Bmw Xm Ts
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Every so often, automakers get properly weird. Think that Renault 5 Diamant with the stone steering wheel, or the Nissan Pivo concept car with the swivelling cabin. Well, it’s time to get weird again. The BMW XM Mystique Allure is a velvet-wrapped SUV inspired by supermodel Naomi Campbell’s favorite color, and despite having a fuzzy exterior, it doesn’t look any more ridiculous than a standard XM.

Making its debut at the Cannes Film Festival, the XM Mystique Allure is draped roof-to-sill in blurple velvet and shimmering sequins, looking like something a Dr. Seuss villain would drive. As you’d probably expect, the interior is also matched to theme, and has some serious potential. Sure, leather may be the industry standard, but isn’t there something nice about the warmth and comfort of properly sumptuous cloth, especially in an actual color?

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Another highlight BMW’s touting is a special set of synthesized propulsion sounds composed by Hans Zimmer. These are claimed to be different than the regular Zimmer-composed noises in other electric BMWs, although it’s anyone’s guess as to what they might sound like.

P90550216 Highres The Bmw Xm Allure Ca

So, how does this car’s inspiration feel about it? As Campbell stated in a press release: “I feel deeply honoured to have sparked the inspiration for their first-ever high-fashion show car, which stands as a unique masterpiece in every aspect.” Indeed, the BMW XM Mystique Allure is certainly unique, and nobody can take that away from it.

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P90550203 Highres The Bmw Xm Allure Ca

P90548985 Highres The Bmw Xm Mystique

Interestingly this isn’t BMW’s first time experimenting with fabric on the outside of a car. In 2008, the brand revealed the GINA, a name that stood for “Geometry and functions In ‘N’ Adaptions.” Sure, that acronym will make you want to roll your eyes so far back into your skull that your brain stem turns to mush and your spine slides out of your anus, but the car itself is pretty cool.

Bmw Gina Light Visionary Model Concept 2008 1600 1e

Thanks to a flexible fabric skin, the GINA could blink, open up its engine bay from the middle of the hood, and be nearly devoid of visible panel gaps. It was a fascinating vehicle, an amusing dead end in the world of show cars.

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P90548983 Highres The Bmw Xm Mystique

While the BMW XM Mystique Allure doesn’t feature moving fabric panels, it also doesn’t feel that strange compared to how it started life. Does it look like Grimace’s Decepticon cousin? Sure, but that’s no more of a preposterous theme than a gold-accented road rhino for the terminally tasteless. While it might not look, shall we say, good, this velvet-wrapped treatment makes the XM more interesting, and that’s a minor win in itself.

(Photo credits: BMW)

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Stef Schrader
Stef Schrader
9 days ago

This thing is hideous except for on the inside. (Sounds familiar.) Velour interiors need to make a comeback.

i3 Driving Indicator Fetishist
i3 Driving Indicator Fetishist
11 days ago

I’ve been in California on vacation for the past week and still haven’t seen an XM! I’ve spotted everything else interesting that I rarely see in Canada including several Cybertrucks… has BMW sold any of these?!

67 Oldsmobile
67 Oldsmobile
10 days ago

Come to Norway next time. Unfortunately the damn things are everywhere here.

Ohgodwhyme
Ohgodwhyme
11 days ago

Seeing the GINA again, it gives me the opportunity to (again) wish it had been created by the Volkswagen Audi Group. Then it would have have been the VAGINA.

Vetatur Fumare
Vetatur Fumare
11 days ago

I saw a modified XM the other week and I could not believe my eyes. My ten-year-old daughter was downright offended by it.

Jonathan Green
Jonathan Green
12 days ago

BMWs have gotten so ugly that they hurt my feelings.

Captain Muppet
Captain Muppet
12 days ago

The only XM is the Citroen XM.

Industrial_design_guy
Industrial_design_guy
12 days ago

Sucky car is now sucky car with velvet. I mean, it surely didn’t make it worse, but I’m not sure it made it any better either

Freelivin2713
Freelivin2713
12 days ago

So will there be a Velvet membership? Ha ha…I think George Costanza would like that

George: I love it! This is fantastic! Look at this couch, is this velvet?!

Bonnie: Are you a velvet fan?

George: A fan? I would drape myself in velvet if it were socially acceptable.

MaximillianMeen
MaximillianMeen
11 days ago
Reply to  Freelivin2713

Thanks to BMW, looks like 2024 will be the real Summer of George.

Hugh Crawford
Hugh Crawford
12 days ago

This sure looks like International Klein Blue.

Dodsworth
Dodsworth
12 days ago

I was going to rant about fashion accessories, but cars have always been fashion accessories. Bullitt, Kowalski, Milner, Rockford, Knight: They all posed with their baubles.

Joke #119!
Joke #119!
12 days ago

(sees photo)
What car?

Angular Banjoes
Angular Banjoes
12 days ago

I feel like I might be the only person outside of the BMW organization who doesn’t hate the XM. I saw one at the BMW dealership a while back, and I didn’t think it looked bad. Is it beautiful? Shit no it’s not, but I don’t find it to be any more hideous than any other six-figure status symbol crossover SUV thing, and from certain angles, in certain colors, I actually dig it. Do I want one? No, but I can kinda see the appeal.

That being said, I’ve always been a BMW fan, and I tend to adjust to their weird styling choices pretty quickly. Aside from the weird decklid on the 7 Series, I didn’t hate the Banglemobiles, and I also kinda dig the beaver tooth M3/M4.

Vic Vinegar
Vic Vinegar
12 days ago

I posted earlier that I don’t hate it. And when out to pickup dinner I had an iX go by as opposite traffic. That thing is far uglier than the XM. The whole front end is terrible. Worse than the 4-series/M3.

Angular Banjoes
Angular Banjoes
12 days ago
Reply to  Vic Vinegar

The iX is terrible. It’s the worst version of the beaver teeth.

BagoBoiling
BagoBoiling
12 days ago

I came up behind one in the PHX area that was this really nice matte black and instantly fell in love. It had presence. Guessing it was one of their “50 BMW Individual special paint finishes“

Angular Banjoes
Angular Banjoes
12 days ago
Reply to  BagoBoiling

The one that I saw was also matte black, and it was at Chapman BMW in Chandler. I thought it looked pretty decent.

InsomniacRyan
InsomniacRyan
12 days ago

I just want to give BMW a hug and put it in a long-term mental health facility. Seeing something that was once so brilliant and strong turn into this neurotic wreck hurts the soul.

Morgan van Humbeck
Morgan van Humbeck
12 days ago

Fucking. Fabulous.

SNL-LOL Jr
SNL-LOL Jr
12 days ago

Sure she can. Just give her a crate of phones so she can throw them at people. In a state of concussion people may think the XM looks passable.

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