Home » I Can’t Decide If These Weird Slots On The VW Tiguan’s Dashboard Are Useful Or Stupid

I Can’t Decide If These Weird Slots On The VW Tiguan’s Dashboard Are Useful Or Stupid

Slots Top
ADVERTISEMENT

The lone relatively “modern” car in my ragtag fleet is my wife’s primary car, a 2010 Volkswagen Tiguan that has proven to be a handsome and comfortable way to turn gasoline into occasional motion and an extremely effective way to be sure my bank account isn’t burdened by too much excess money. Lots of things have gone wrong with that needy thing, but my wife likes it because it really is a comfortable, pleasant car to drive around. The tech is a bit dated on the inside, but it mostly works and the overall interior design and layout is airy and quite good. The dash is made with materials that feel good to actually touch, and seems thoughtful and well-considered. There’s really only one thing on that dash that actually baffles me: some little slots, set in plastic. What are they? Are they a vent? A sensor? Do they do anything? I’ve since learned what they’re for but I’m very conflicted about what I’ve learned. Are these stupid or not?

Here’s another closer look at these things, in case you’d like to, you know, really scrutinize them:

Vidframe Min Top
Vidframe Min Bottom

Slots Close

They’re just two little narrow slots, inset in a plastic housing, set into the dash. They’re not a vent, they don’t have any sort of sensor behind them, no speakers or anything like that. They don’t actually do anything, at least not actively. But they do have a purpose, something that I think all of us can envy. If we refer to the Tiguan Owners Manual, Psalm Upper Center Console, Fig. 6, the purpose is revealed:

Ownersman1

ADVERTISEMENT

A “card holder!” VW seemed to think these were important enough that there’s another bank of these on the lower center console, just above the shifter:

Ownersman12

So, card holders. Of two orientations, it looks like, with the upper ones seemingly designed to hold a standard credit card-sized card short-side-first, and the lower ones holding the cards with the long side inserted. Okay. But, um, why?

What are these for, exactly? Are they for credit cards? Are there people who don’t want to carry a wallet and prefer to have a 3,800-pound self-propelled wallet? I guess if you’re going through a drive through it’s a handy place to stick your debit car while you creep towards the window to get your bags of piping-hot chowder or whatever?

Oh, maybe if you have a key card that opens a parking lot gate? That could be handy! You could keep it in there and never lose it, and I guess that’s somehow better than the four or so other easily-reachable little cubbyholes on the dash?

ADVERTISEMENT

VW gives you four of these, and in some looking around online, it looks like if that’s not enough for you, you can replace the useless airbag warning lamp with another pair of card holders:

Afteermarket

So, in theory a really card-blessed Tiguan (or other VW Group owner – these were on other VW/Audis, too, like Passats) could have up to six slots for key cards or credit cards or gift cards or business cards or thin, resilient crackers or whatever little narrow somethings you want to cram in there.

I’m conflicted about these because while I can mostly picture a context where one of these might be useful, I’m just not sure I can imagine anyone actually using these things. Do people use them? When I started wondering about this, I saw I wasn’t the first to raise these difficult questions, as it comes up on VW/Audi forums.

[Editor’s Note: I could see their most clutch use being at a toll booth. You know, the ones where you have to take a ticket, and then when you get 15 miles down the road you have to frantically search for that ticket while 25 cars are waiting behind you looking for an excuse to use their horns. -DT]. 

ADVERTISEMENT

The results are pretty mixed; lots of confused people, some people who have lost coins in them, and, yes, some people who use and love them.

I’ve not personally witnessed anyone actually ever using these things out in my real-world interactions with VW/Audi owners/operators, but oh, I’d love to. Somewhere out there must exist a debonaire Golf GTI owner who has every one of these little slits populated with a parking card, a Diner’s Club card, a cut-down semi-nude Polarioid of a recent lover, a gym membership card, a joke “License to Kill” and a mini-CD that was stuck in there, irremovable, from a previous owner.

So, let’s discuss: are these a good idea? Or are they just a half-assed way to eat up dash space, only a half-step better than a blank panel? I can’t decide. Help.

 

Relatedbar

ADVERTISEMENT

We Need To Talk About The Dodge D-Series Ram Truck’s Hilariously Pathetic Dashboard Designs

A Little Car On Your Dashboard To Control Stuff: Is It A Dumb Idea?

The 1984 Camaro Berlinetta Featured An Incredibly Useless ‘Reminder Spool’ Feature. Here’s How It Worked

Share on facebook
Facebook
Share on whatsapp
WhatsApp
Share on twitter
Twitter
Share on linkedin
LinkedIn
Share on reddit
Reddit
Subscribe
Notify of
94 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Freelivin2713
Freelivin2713
8 months ago

Stupid and pointless

James Mason
James Mason
9 months ago

That’s where you plug in your “Game Genie” to get unlimited lives.

Neomancer Nz
Neomancer Nz
9 months ago

I keep my Tim Hortons card in my passenger sunvisor, so I would use it for that I guess. Not something I am missing otherwise. Still, as others have noted, better than just putting in a blank.

FloridaNative
FloridaNative
9 months ago

Let’s be honest… they’re a hack to use up empty space. Having said that, I kept gas station cards in them.

Nick Fortes
Nick Fortes
9 months ago

My 2016 Q3 has three slots in the center of the climate control area directly below the fan speed control. The slots are similar to these shown on the Tiguan, but to my eyes they seem way too narrow to fit a card into even lengthwise. Now I’m curious and when I get out of work I’m going to try a card in one to be sure.

Ben
Ben
9 months ago

I would 100% use these. I keep gas membership cards in the cardholder in my truck, and these would be perfect to hold your parking stub in ramps.

Now I’m wondering if I could 3d print something like this for the rest of my cars…

Trenton Abernathy
Trenton Abernathy
9 months ago

I’ve owned two 2016 VW Tiguans (which is 2 more than I think anyone should own). I used those slots for business cards and those promotional frequent-customer cards you get at some restaurants and cafes. Mildly convenient, but what’s even more convenient is that recess on the top of the dash. I wish more cars had that

PL71 Enthusiast
PL71 Enthusiast
9 months ago

My A4 has the little drawer things, and my S4 has slots. Except the slots are super shallow and upon further inspection may be designed for coins only.

Balloondoggle
Balloondoggle
9 months ago

It’s a credit card reader so you can activate the subscriptions for air bags, seat heaters, window defrost, seat belts, TPMS, etc. with a minimum of fuss without having to store credit card data in an online account.

Trust Doesn't Rust
Trust Doesn't Rust
9 months ago
Reply to  Balloondoggle

Shhh…BMW might hear you.

Chartreuse Bison
Chartreuse Bison
9 months ago

No, they absolutely want to have your credit card on file on an online account

StalePhish
StalePhish
9 months ago
Reply to  Balloondoggle

Like when you find yourself in one of those hotel rooms where you can’t turn the lights on unless you deposit your hotel key into a slot on the wall. And then forget said key there when you’re exiting the room and lock yourself out.

Balloondoggle
Balloondoggle
9 months ago
Reply to  StalePhish

Uh, I’ve never been in a hotel like that. Do they have a coin slot by the bed and hourly rates?

StalePhish
StalePhish
9 months ago
Reply to  Balloondoggle

4 star hotels in London and places like that. Presumably some sort of energy saving measure so you can’t accidentally leave a light on while you’re gone all day

Balloondoggle
Balloondoggle
9 months ago
Reply to  StalePhish

Ah, the other end of the spectrum of hotels I’ve never been in.

Sid Bridge
Sid Bridge
9 months ago

Finally, the driver and front passenger can play Uno while driving!
Worried about the stack of cards slipping around? Just stick each played card in the slot, half sticking out.

Geoff Buchholz
Geoff Buchholz
9 months ago

Diner’s Club? (sniffs haughtily) You really must get a Carte Blanche, old sport.

VanGuy
VanGuy
9 months ago

My 2012 Prius v has one card slot on the dash, close to the driver window. On the rare occasions where I have to drive to work and park in its garage, it’s handy for holding my badge to swipe it.

I could also see circumstances where temporarily putting a debit/credit card in it would be a little handy.

Personally, I think anything more than two would be overkill; definitely four as absolute maximum.

beachbumberry
beachbumberry
9 months ago

I have to use a badge to swipe in and out at work every day and it tends to get lost in my door pocket or take up the entire cup holder. I could use these!

Bongo Friendee Harvey Park
Bongo Friendee Harvey Park
9 months ago

It looks like a very effective way to get broken into when you leave cards in there.

Drad
Drad
9 months ago

Or Ford Kuga(Escape) has one. Its really handy for car park tickets or when my wife had a park in a building that required a key card, you always knew where it was. In our Subaru it just lies around with abandon (basically it gets lost). Interestingly my mums Ford Kuga (the next model up in the range) does not have a card slot because it has luxury features like self-parking. Hers also doesn’t have coin holders as it has heated seats. I actually think the card holder thing is just a lot nicer than having a row of blank switches.

Matthew Humphrey
Matthew Humphrey
9 months ago

I have a box of Stoned Wheat Thins. Maybe I could just shoot Cheez-Whiz into those card holders and work the crackers in the crack to get them good and coated. I mean, if it’s just there doing nothing anyway…road trip, anyone?

Adriano Michalzeszen
Adriano Michalzeszen
9 months ago

I’d use the fuck out of those slots because I have two access cards for parking spots at different offices.

Parsko
Parsko
9 months ago

As someone who has worked in corporate ‘murica for 23 years, it’s for your badge. Lot’s of people leave their work badge in their car. This is a perfect use for these slots. Maybe not 4 of them, but at least 1. They also typically have a lanyard or pull string attached dangling around above your favorite shifter knob.

Parsko
Parsko
9 months ago
Reply to  Parsko

CF card slot??? This was how they did all that emissions cheating back in the day.

MaximillianMeen
MaximillianMeen
9 months ago
Reply to  Parsko

Leaving your badge in your car is so handy for other people to identify you. Many years ago, I lived in a condo complex that had one assigned parking space per unit. They were repaving the lot, one half at a time, and when the other half was being paved, somebody from that half parked in my spot, but left his badge in plain sight. A quick check in the phone book (I said this was many years ago!), called him up told him to move or a tow truck would be coming. He moved over one spot, and turned his badge over. The owners of that spot left him a sternly worded note under the wiper, but he got to park overnight.

94
0
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x
()
x