I’ve always been kind of fascinated by people who turn their cars into rolling platforms to proclaim one specific pet belief of theirs. It’s such an all-encompassing commitment; wherever you go, you’re broadcasting this one belief of yours, and cars are such extensions of our own self-image and personalities, it’s easy for everyone to assume that whatever it is your car is shouting about must be the biggest thing in your life. At least, that’s the impression I get when I see cars like these. And I’m definitely getting the impression that whoever drives the car in that picture up there won’t ever shut up about how important they think speed limits are.
I remember when I was a kid in the ’80s seeing this black Ford Escort GT absolutely slathered with stickers and a custom license plate, all of them crusading against the idea of anal intercourse. I wrote about that years ago at the Old Site, even. This car is giving me very similar vibes, a related sort of wild-eyed single-mindedness to a cause, only this time it’s the much more socially acceptable subject of speeding, even though, as the stickers tell me, one mile per hour over the limit.
Where does one even get so many bumper stickers that crusade against speeding? Are they custom made? Or is this a sub-genre of automotive scold culture I haven’t been so aware of, one large enough to support an ecosystem of bumper sticker options? Maybe? Anyway, I saw this first in this tweet, so, here, you may as well see for yourself:
I wonder how this person feels about speed limits. pic.twitter.com/0nVztc8Cu3
— CEO of Antifa (@CrazyWeeMonkey) May 8, 2025
I have so many questions. How did this person get like this? I mean, there absolutely could be a tragic backstory, where someone they love could have been hurt or killed by a speeding driver, and if that’s the case, then I suppose I’ll feel terrible. Because on some level, they’re not wrong; there is a reason we have speed limits, and, generally, we should probably abide by them.
That said, calling out one mile over? That’s ridiculous. Most speedometers aren’t even really accurate to a single mile anyway. Within five or so is fine. And there absolutely are times when someone going slower than the overall flow of traffic can cause plenty of dangerous situations; speed isn’t always the bad guy, here. Like anything on Earth, you can’t really expect everything to be so clear-cut.
And isn’t having a car covered in smallish text something of a hazard unto itself? This level of bumperstickery begs people to read it, and if they’re reading it, they’re getting close and not paying as much attention to the road, all of which feels a lot more dangerous than going, say, 41 in a 35 or something.
Also, let’s talk about the choice of car, a Chevy Bolt EUV. Most EVs are inherently pretty quick, and the Bolt is no exception. It’ll go from parked to 60 mph in 6.8 seconds, and its top speed is electronically limited to 93 mph, enough to get nailed for speeding anywhere in America. Why isn’t this person driving something with a lot less power? That Bolt makes about 200 hp; my daily driver makes 52 hp, and there’s plenty of places I simply can’t speed, though it sure is fun to try.
Do they use cruise control all the time, just to be certain? Like, are they setting the cruise at 35, then resetting it to 25 the second they see the school zone signs, then back to 35 and up to 45 or whatever, in a constant flow of setting and resetting? Or do they just have an incredibly well-trained foot and an eagle eye on that speedo?
Then there’s all of the non-driving related associations this display evokes. Does anyone think whoever drives this car is someone they want to spend any time with? And I don’t just mean you asked them to drive you to the airport and you’re running a little late sort of time – I mean, does anyone get the impression that this person might be a tad unbearable to be around?
That could be wildly unfair of me, but I’m thinking it, and I swore a solemn oath on a freshly-made corned beef reuben to share my thoughts with all of you. And I want to know what you think – does this besticker’d car make any of you sort of uncomfortable, too? Is it just me?
Let’s discuss.
“I’ve always distrusted anyone who can express their most deeply-held convictions within the space of a bumper sticker,” – Michael Perry.
Around here, the popular car stickers are along the lines of “Student driver, please be patient”. And there are at least 3 of them on each car…
I feel that I can quickly and accurately answer that question… well, for myself, at least. Let me know in the replies if you want my response. I’m also happy to elaborate, if need be.
I’m going to presume your response is “no” to wanting to spend time with this person. However, feel free to elaborate whether I am correct or not. I’d rather hear your opinion over and over about this person’s opinion than spend time with this person.
All I know is that I absolutely love my Autopian bumper sticker!
If they truly care so much about safety then they are setting a terrible example with their tail lights!
The brake/turn lights on the Bolt EUV are:
– Mounted down low in the bumper
– Use the same bulb to do both things
– Turn signal is not amber
It’s like they’re not even trying… I hope Jason at least left a leaflet from the Amber Signal Society (ASS) under their wiper.
Usually a car slathered in stickers is proclaiming some hateful agenda, so I’m good with this. We all pick our battles. I would love to put a little magnetic turtle on their hood. No damage, and I would hope they understood it’s a joke.
A Chevy Bolt, or any EV for that matter, is a perfect vehicle for the speed limit obsessed. As EVs are less efficient at interstate speeds, owners interested in maximizing range have more incentive than most to cling to the speed limit.
I’m surprised Cheap Bastard hasn’t chimed in, he’s also a speed limit enthusiast and is always replying to my comments whenever I mention speeding or driving in an enthusiastic manner, lol.
Rye or marbled rye?
Or, does it make a difference?
Makes me think of a ‘citizen cop’ I used to encounter during my daily commute. This guy had a decommissioned police spec Crown Vic absolutely bristling with random antennas; he would drive in the left lane, about 5 – 10 MPH below the posted limit. It took a couple of weeks, but locals finally figured out he wasn’t a cop, and would just blow by him in the right lane.
Too bad the cops didn’t figure it out and ticket him for impeding the flow of traffic and (perhaps) for impersonating a police officer.
I’m pretty much a “no bumper stickers ever,” in the “Mommy Dearest” tone and severity. Fucks up the paint, for Chrysler’s sake!
On the window, sure, but even then I’d prefer taped on the inside.
I’ll relent for one particular bumper sticker:
“If you can read this, you’re driving too slow,” in mirror image, on my front bumper.
Like any angry, speeding commuter reads. You’re lucky if they acknowledge a stop sign.
Anyone with this many bumper stickers, all on one topic, regardless of the salience of the issue, is definitely someone I’d avoid at parties, work, or the highway.
Idk, I would rather be at a party with some bumper stcker weirdo than all the people in the comments who just came here to shit on someone they don’t know.
Hopefully this clown stays over in the right lane so people can easily get around him but I have a feeling he’s one of those people who think it is his right to clog up the left lane.
His bottom right sticker on the window literally says “If I’m doing the speed limit why do I have to move over and let you break the law?” – so yeah, he’s the left lane hog.
Here’s hoping he’s in a “left lane only to pass” state.
Everyone: Screw this person that doesn’t speed.
Also everyone: Screw anybody speeding on my street.
This person would be described as Lawful Evil in DnD.
You are absolutely right they sure would be. Though at the point they have a train behind them in the left lane with the occasional car taking its chance to dart out and pass them on the right, well then they’re not quite technically even lawful anymore.