Our Daydreaming Designer Gives The Cybertruck Treatment To Tesla’s Upcoming Low-Cost Cars

I’ve decided to change my ways. No, I’m not going to give up my who-knows-how-many-a-day Diet Coke habit or start exercising. I’m going to try to be more positive about domestic EV startups. Sure, the Tesla Cybertruck appears to be stuck in the mud (literally, if we are to believe recent stories), other startups are still losing money, but these are home-grown industries where I actually know some of the people that are involved with getting them going. I genuinely want them to succeed.

When I heard Tesla saying that they have two new lower cost models in the offing, I tried to keep on a bold face. This was extremely difficult when they claimed there would be an upcoming Model 2 that costs half the price of a Model 3, so in the $25,000 range. I flat out struggled to contain myself when I heard their planned Model 1 was aimed at a price point half of that figure. Seriously people, we’re now talking about a $10,000 to $15,000 car which they claim might be sold in Asian and Indian markets. If you know anything about those markets and the emerging EV capabilities of these nations, you’ll be aware that when (if) these supposedly low-cost Teslas under the covers below are available in three to five years it might be like bringing a cheese sandwich to a banquet. Then again, I’m just speculating here; maybe they’ll be nice.

The Plan

Again, let’s think positive thoughts…I mean, what if we hopped in the trenches with these guys and figured out how to make this work? How can we make a $24,000 Tesla that can really succeed? Can they really get the cost down to that level? I don’t see how you can strip out anything else from a Model 3 or Y and get to a price point where the Big Three and Asia won’t blow you back to the stone age on value.

Here’s the approach I think that they need: shock and awe, plus pure fun and uniqueness that is real and not superficial pandering to the Gen Z market with embarrassing hip-to-the-kids garbage on the same damn car. That’s what the industry did fifty years ago with the wretched sleds on the market, but I do have to admit that the colorful, cheerful array of these silly things below makes me smile more than any current entry-level EV:

What does Tesla have the balls to do that you can’t get anywhere else? Also, how can we add dignity and excitement to what is typically a bottom-feeder type of market? It can be done. The original Mini is a great example of this. In the sixties, this British compact could be seen driven by rock stars and famous actors around town without shame. They might own Bentleys or Astons as well, but there was nothing like the Mini available at the time–it was the right tool for the job in London, automotive pecking order standards be damned.

Leaning Into The Bizarre

Tesla has infamously already shown us how they can set themselves apart. Whatever you say about the Cybertruck, it certainly does look different. Some have claimed that Elon created it ‘just to piss people off,’ and maybe he did–it’s an anti-F-150 that sets its own rules.

Even if the Cybertruck is “ugly,” it makes a visual statement (good or bad) that the Big Three do not. Brands like Ford and RAM have shown us their upcoming electric pickup offerings, and they seem to elicit a nonplussed “that’s it?” response, something that nobody says about the Cybertruck. Also, to some people the Cybertruck transcends “ugly” and the traditional automotive aesthetic judgement of beauty, just as the original VW Beetle and WWII Jeep derivative did (though the Jeep’s form is dictated by its function; the Cybertruck’s shape honestly seems to run counter to any usefulness as a pickup truck).

What if Tesla applied the Cybertruck look to their new low-priced Model 1 or 2?  The idea of an ultra-angular car is obviously nothing new; Bertone and others did much of this type of visual language in seventies and eighties to dramatic effect; the Lamborghini Countach was actually one of the more tame interpretations of the style:

In France, Citroen went full angular with their pyramid-shaped 1980 Karin showcar. This Karin would certainly like to speak with your manager about the flat-plane design theft by Cybertruck four decades later.

There’s also tragic executions of this aesthetic, much of it driven by the size and proportion. I’m referring of course to the infamous early EV Citicar (later sold as a Commuta). Check out those 5 mph bumpers:

Classic Auto Mall

The (Possible) Solution

Let’s bite the bullet: “our” low end Tesla (codenamed the Nole- pronounced NO-lay- which is ELON backwards) will take on the look of the much-derided Cybertruck, applied to a car about the size of a Mitsubishi Mirage. A small frunk up front complements cargo space behind the fold-down back seat, accessible by the lift up glass hatch and a large fold-down tailgate. I would be very disappointed if the aftermarket didn’t offer an insane number of fun options like tents, a mini-kitchen, add-on tailgate seats, and cargo carrying assistance options.

Unlike the Cybertruck, the little Tesla will be made of steel with some aluminum parts, but cost savings here is valued above weight reduction. If you look carefully, you’ll see that the side window frames are curved, but the glass itself is flat, as is the windshield and rear glass. The lower body is painted to match the upper parts, though a low cost model with all-black rockers and bumpers might be considered. And what colors! No fifty shades of grey here, boy. Funky, fun shades including the wedge-of-cheese yellow you see here. Is it ‘ugly’ compared to a mainstream Chevy Bolt or Nissan Leaf? I mean, was a Beetle uglier than a Toyota Corolla back in the day? Can you even picture what a 1975 Corolla looked like without Google? Are you able to identify a Beetle on a darkened street in the pouring rain from a hundred feet away? Same kind of comparison here.

Another thing: The Nissan Leaf offers a pillarless two door, lifted four wheel drive version with a lift-off collapsible fabric roof as well, right? Oh, they don’t? Tesla would. Presenting the Lone Starr model, named for the Bill Pullman character in Spaceballs (and the state Elon’s car concern calls home now). Deep gray rocker panels and bumpers, beefy tow hooks, and light bar at the top of the windshield. Now we’ve got a ‘halo’ version to add some fun to the whole line. It’s like a shrunken Cybertruck off-road Renault Avantime:

I didn’t draw it, but Tesla could easily offer a dual motor version for street use, and even one that would be humorously fast. I’d love to see one of these doorstop-looking things blasting to sixty in 4.7 seconds, and that would be easy for Tesla to make.

Inside, the overall stripped-down look of the interior actually fits the whole gestalt (there’s a word for you) of clean simplicity and not bargain-basement Model 3. I’m thinking you could take the screen with you as a tablet to use away from the car. Plenty of space below the windshield for options like modular storage cubes, and there’s a small drain there to help with cleaning or if you want to put plants there. No, really- you can grow plants in a car. Another option is a rubber “grass” grid to hold items like pictures or mementos such as your favorite Pokemon Quagsire action figure or something.

Driving A Wedge Between Tesla And The Competition

Tesla doesn’t advertise, but there would still be plenty of indirect promotions. Despite this being a low-cost car, you’ll be able to waste tons of cash on items in the shape of the compact Tesla such as $75 lump of cheese in a black box, a carbon fiber $280 doorstop, and a glass decanter (no alcohol included) for $330.

If you aren’t willing to shell out that much money, there’d be paper cutouts of the tiny Tesla available. In fact, if you right click the image below to print on the copier at work, you can have one for free:

The wedge shape has always been marketable, as British Leyland proved half a century ago with the best selling Triumph of all time (yes, I was shocked about that fact as well):

Of course, Tesla won’t make a Model 1 or 2 like this. Most renderings you see online (which are admittedly all flat out guesses by artists) show the expected white lozenge-shaped Model 3s or Ys that have been shrunken down or have the tail chopped off Gremlin-style so that it now looks sort of like the aforementioned Mirage or Civic hatch with the now-decade-old standard Telsa nose stuck on. There’s talk of drastically lowering costs, but Tesla likely can’t win the long term in a race to the bottom without some creativity. Maybe this plywood-flat-sided Cybercompact isn’t the answer, but I think that they’ll need the value proposition of a can’t-get-it-anywhere-else OG Beetle or Mini if they want to succeed in the poor man’s market.

Underlay renderings: Mitsubishi

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