Home » Our Daydreaming Designer Imagines The Tesla Of Ride On Lawn Mowers

Our Daydreaming Designer Imagines The Tesla Of Ride On Lawn Mowers

Topshot 71
ADVERTISEMENT

If self-driving cars are to be a thing, it can’t be long before lawn mowers go the same way–in fact, you can purchase such a Roomba-for-the-yard right now. However, there’s a lot of people that love the experience of hopping on their lawn tractor and breathing in that fresh cut grass smell as they survey their little chunk of America. Some will use the tractor to tow heavy things or even plow the driveway, so there’s other uses that an autonomous mower can’t answer.

[Editor’s Note: This all started because the Bishop and I were talking about all the “Tesla of…” things and he said he’d be up to do some drawings but didn’t feel like writing, you know, a whole thing about this and then I looked in our drafts and here this was. You can’t stop the Bishop, so don’t even try. Oh, and just a reminder that this is all speculative fiction, even the fake tweet down there, so you know, keep your pants on. – JT]

Vidframe Min Top
Vidframe Min Bottom

The Tesla mower will give the owner the best of both worlds. It’s a self-propelled, self-driving mower that can also give owners the peaceful, enjoyable experience of trimming their own lawns if they so choose.

Img20230504 20152079 A
Cyberlandr

Your Tesla app gives you control of everything; specify the area you want to have cut and walk away. Or, with a touch of your phone, the front of the mower opens up and you can hop onto a comfy vinyl-covered throne to either ride along with the mower or control it via a joystick. There’s a touchscreen that pops out of the armrest like a tray table on an aircraft for manual control of the mowing deck, navigation, or entertainment. The ‘Falcon’ cover for the seat forms a sun shade for the operator when in ride-on mode.

Img20230504 20152079 2

ADVERTISEMENT

Of course, the Tesla is covered in a stainless steel skin in stark contrast to typical John Deere green machines, but the vast majority of the this pyramid-shaped thing is plastered with solar panels that attempt to give you just a few hundred yards more for that chunk of lawn out back. This is especially nice if the mower just flat out dies halfway through your lawn–you can just leave it until it picks up enough photons to move again.

The clippings are collected in back, and the cover starts to rise as it fills up. Lawn mowing completed, an electric lever pushes the cover down to compress the clippings.

Img20230504 20

If you placed in a Tesla-issue netting bag before you started mowing, the clipping come out in dense, triangular-shaped blocks. These forms can be then pitched or used to create a variety of objects (you can view plans for on the mower’s touch screen) like lawn seating or lounge chair, little side tables, or even topiary creatures like a llama (or whatever the hell that thing is in the picture).

Topiary

ADVERTISEMENT

These grass clipping forms will dry out over the season and become mini hay bales just in time for you to use them as autumn props, like a stand for your jack-o-lanterns, or in this case it would be an Elon-smoking-weed-on-a-podcast-o-lantern:

Img20230504 20102411

When it’s time to recharge, you plug into a home outlet after you pop the Tesla adapter into the plug. This device supposedly turns your 120 volts of AC into Tesla power, or BTE (Big Tesla Energy) units. The plug has a strange shape to it so you can’t just plug it into a standard outlet without using the adapter, but some media wags determined that the Tesla adapter does absolutely nothing to the electricity it takes in (it doesn’t even have a power surge protector for Chrissake). Needless to say, the faithful believe that it does, well, something. Oh, and don’t get any ideas; if you try to hotwire it or splice on a standard plug, it will void the warranty. The adapter is Bluetooth on your wifi, so it will know and alert Tesla of your behavior.

Img20230504 20122090

The Tesla mower is slated to be released in 2025 (maybe) and nobody outside of the firm has even seen a prototype, but it isn’t stopping the faithful from already heaping praise on this nonexistent object:

ADVERTISEMENT

Screenshot (562)

 

Whoa! That’s some brand loyalty there? What would it look like if these guys built a forklift? An espresso machine? Should we find out?

Relatedbar

Here’s Why That Tesla Infographic About Gasoline Car Maintenance Is Incredibly Misleading – The Autopian

ADVERTISEMENT

I Just Need To Rant About This Unhinged Tesla Cybertruck Tweet, If You Don’t Mind – The Autopian

The Cheapest Tesla Cybertruck Camper Concept Yet Is A $24,000 Truck Cap That Might Cook You Like Bacon – The Autopian

Our Daydreaming Designer Imagines A Cybertruck-Shaped Camper Trailer That Almost Makes Sense – The Autopian

Share on facebook
Facebook
Share on whatsapp
WhatsApp
Share on twitter
Twitter
Share on linkedin
LinkedIn
Share on reddit
Reddit
Subscribe
Notify of
37 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Ron888
Ron888
1 year ago

Hilarious.Your making it optionally human driven complete’s the joke to perfection.Imagine working in that oven?

And the expanding catcher is perfect.Actual cybertruck add-on tent design sorted!

Cal67
Cal67
1 year ago

One problem is that you cannot bale wet grass clippings. If you have ever done any baling, you first cut the hay (grass in this case), then let it dry, then bale it. Not good things happen if you bale wet hay. https://youtu.be/fH-M99vIGF0 On second thought, now the EV product can self-combust as well. Proceed.

Last edited 1 year ago by Cal67
Jblues
Jblues
1 year ago

You guys have joked yourself into inventing a viable consumer product here.

Bongo Friendee Harvey Park
Bongo Friendee Harvey Park
1 year ago

This is the best Bishop article so far.

CSRoad
CSRoad
1 year ago

I have a 75′ x 150′ city lot and I will have pass on this one.
If I had 3 or 4 acres of lawn there is a an appeal to it.
If I was a Teslastan resistance would be futile.

OrigamiSensei
OrigamiSensei
1 year ago

This is brilliant, and actually remarkably practical. I loved the “Falcon sunshade”.

TheHairyNug
TheHairyNug
1 year ago

They don’t call him Elawn Musk for nothin!

Last edited 1 year ago by TheHairyNug
Canopysaurus
Canopysaurus
1 year ago

The TesLawn Model 3. The only mower certified for Martian yards.

Crank Shaft
Crank Shaft
1 year ago

I saw the picture and immediately wanted one. That’s the first time I could say that about a Tesla. Brilliant!

Freelivin2713
Freelivin2713
1 year ago

Bag grass? (Or bale) Yeah, right! Mulch it!
Although I do like Llamas

Boulevard_Yachtsman
Boulevard_Yachtsman
1 year ago

I heard that when Full Self Mowing is engaged, a person can make up to $10,000 a year mowing other people’s lawns while they’re away! Which is more than enough to cover the Full Self Mowing subscription costs of $9,499 a year. Thanks Elon!

MATTinMKE
MATTinMKE
1 year ago

Just don’t park a firetruck anywhere near a running TesLawn Model S while Full Self Mowing is engaged.

Anders
Anders
1 year ago

Wow. Also curious how would this Husqvarna lawnmover would like as a car.. https://www.husqvarna.com/us/robotic-lawn-mowers/automower-435x-awd/

Last edited 1 year ago by Anders
Anders
Anders
1 year ago
Reply to  The Bishop

Oh man. Going of on a tangent, but wouldn’t a 4×4 center-hinged car makes sense? I mean loaders are often (always?) center hinged. Hmm .. the thought of a Swedish made center-hinged 4×4 Husqvarna..

Bongo Friendee Harvey Park
Bongo Friendee Harvey Park
1 year ago

I wish Sir Vival’s creator had teamed up with Mohs for styling.

TOSSABL
TOSSABL
1 year ago

For controls, I’d like a joystick like the Subaru XT’s shifter-with the 4wd thumb button on top being for one-touch deck raising.
Yeah, I’m thinking about this way too much

Fuzzyweis
Fuzzyweis
1 year ago

I’m trying to figure out how to remote-controlify my current electric mower. Then I could sit on the back patio driving it around. I have dogs so a regular robomower probably won’t do….good.

TOSSABL
TOSSABL
1 year ago

I especially like the prism-shaped bales. After a few mowings, you could create a small raised-bed garden with them. Or mark the turns for the lawnmower races you could have after you & your neighbors pull your decks off the old plebeian equipment

V10omous
V10omous
1 year ago

I really would buy a electric mower once one has the run time for my yard.

Small equipment that can be charged in a garage is the ideal application for electrics. I love my Ego chainsaw and weed trimmer.

James Davidson
James Davidson
1 year ago
Reply to  V10omous

We have of ton of great Ego tools including their mower. We also have a Ryobi electric lawn tractor. After converting it to LiFePo4 batteries, it will now for two to three hours. It might be worth checking out.

V10omous
V10omous
1 year ago
Reply to  James Davidson

I mow about 5 acres with a 61″ Husqvarna ZT so I realize my needs aren’t typical and I probably need to wait for commercial grade equipment, but I am tired of small carbureted engines.

Andrew Wyman
Andrew Wyman
1 year ago
Reply to  V10omous

You can just be that guy with 24 spools of extension cord trying not to drive over it as you mow back and forth.

Joking aside, my parents had a plugin weedwacker, and I remember it being really annoying to haul it with the extension cord all over the yard.

V10omous
V10omous
1 year ago
Reply to  Andrew Wyman

Yes, that was my youth as well.

Cordless electric > gas >>> plugin

MaximillianMeen
MaximillianMeen
1 year ago
Reply to  V10omous

I mow about 2 acres with a Craftsman 46″. But I still bought a Greenworks 21″ push mower for keeping the area around the house tidy. Allows me to procrastinate longer between the 3 hr full yard mowings.

TOSSABL
TOSSABL
1 year ago
Reply to  V10omous

I really like my Ego weed trimmer. Always hated yard work as the vibrations made my wrists itch, then hurt with the old gas push-mowers. My (small) battery runs 25-35 min which is about how much patience I have for yard work. Perfect: do recommend

MATTinMKE
MATTinMKE
1 year ago
Reply to  V10omous

I have a greenworks mower that’s about 5 years old. Mow 1/3 of an acre with it and usually have battery left over. Unless the grass is wet, or long, or both. The more work the blades have to do, the more draw on the batteries, the shorter they last. I like to think the technology has moved passed my mower (I’m sure it has), but I don’t have a reason to replace it. Yet.

Thomas Metcalf
Thomas Metcalf
1 year ago
Reply to  V10omous

I mow about an acre so the next mower I buy will probably be an Ego electric unit. No point to switch until my Cub Cadet starts giving me too much trouble.

Chris Stevenson
Chris Stevenson
1 year ago

Looks better than the Cybertruck, at least.

Taco Shackleford
Taco Shackleford
1 year ago

I wish that tweet were actually real because I can see a few boys just mailing deposit checks to Elon for this mower.

Also pedantic: the tag on this article is Teala, not Tesla. sorry I feel horrible now for correcting you.

TheCrank
TheCrank
1 year ago

Look, it’s a CyberMower.

37
0
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x
()
x