Good morning! We’re starting the week off with a couple of big old American rides with low miles. What they lack in fuel economy and handling, they make up for in comfort and presence. And just to keep things interesting, I’ve picked two from less-common brands.
We finished up last week with two super-clean Japanese sedans. I thought the Mitsubishi Galant’s higher price might hurt it, and a few of you did comment on it, but its higher specification made it seem worth it to the majority of you. The Mazda 323 had its fans, but the lack of air conditioning hurt it.
Despite the low spec, I think the Mazda would be my choice. I am a big fan of the brand, and that 323 is the great-grandmother of the Protege that I liked so much. The three-speed auto is a bummer, but I could live with it.
For decades, nearly all full-sized American cars followed the same basic pattern: a big V8 up front, a solid axle in the rear, and a pair of bench seats in between. If you have a sedan, you have a huge trunk hanging out behind the rear axle, and if you have a wagon, you got some extra seats in the back. The sedans are long gone, and the wagons morphed into SUVs long ago. Today, we’re going to look at one sedan and one wagon, from different eras, but cut from the same cloth.
1976 Pontiac Catalina – $5,000
Engine/drivetrain: 350 cubic inch OHV V8, three-speed automatic, RWD
Location: Glenford, OH
Odometer reading: 22,000 miles
Operational status: Runs and drives well
The 1970s were hard on traditional American cars. Between gas shortages, new environmental regulations, and changing tastes, cars like this Pontiac Catalina were a hard sell. This was the last year before GM’s full-sized B-body shrunk by more than a foot and lost several hundred pounds. It represents the end of an era; whether that’s a good thing or not depends on what you think of these old dinosaurs.
The Catalina was Pontiac’s entry-level full-size sedan, sitting below the Bonneville in the model lineup, similar to the Impala in Chevy’s lineup. It’s powered by Pontiac’s own V8, displacing 350 cubic inches, and a Turbo-Hydramatic 400 automatic transmission. The seller says it runs great. It includes a new set of shocks that need to be installed, which is a fairly easy job on these cars, as long as the bolts aren’t too rusty.
The interior isn’t as fancy as a Bonneville, but it looks plenty comfortable. It’s in good condition, too; all I see wrong with it is a crack in the dashboard. The floor mats are a little grubby, but you could just throw those out and get new ones.
It’s in good but not great condition outside. There isn’t any rust showing, except for some surface rust on the rear bumper. The paint is shiny, but unevenly faded. It’s a great color, though.
1991 Mercury Colony Park GS – $5,500
Engine/drivetrain: 302 cubic inch OHV V8, four-speed automatic, RWD
Location: Tacoma, WA
Odometer reading: 37,000 miles
Operational status: Runs and drives well
Ford’s Panther platform underwent a serious downsizing in the late 1970s as well. This car’s basic design dates back to 1979, with a styling refresh in 1988 that rounded off some of the sharp edges. This 1991 model was one of the last Grand Marquis Colony Park wagons; the next generation of Grand Marquis didn’t include a wagon variant.
Like most Panthers of this era, it’s powered by a five-liter V8 backed by an AOD overdrive automatic. By 1991, it had multi-port fuel injection and was more or less bulletproof. It runs and drives well, and if that mileage is original, it should continue to do so for a long time. By the way, do yourself a favor and read the ad for this car; it’s hilarious. (The link, as always, is the header above.)
Inside, it’s in nice shape, with a 50:50 split bench in the front and inward-facing “way back” seats in the back. The air conditioning doesn’t work; the seller, in their own roundabout way, says it “just needs a charge.” Of course it does.
It looks good outside at first glance, but if you look closer, you start to see a few flaws. It’s missing the trim around the woodgrain on the right front fender, and the woodgrain itself is a bit faded overall. But it’s not rusty or beat-up.
This style of car gave way to front-wheel-drive, V6 engines, and even smaller footprints. Those smaller cars are nice and all, but there is something to be said for these body-on-frame dinosaurs. They may not be all that practical, or fun to drive in the traditional sense, but they are comfortable, and they’re so mechanically simple that there’s not a lot to go wrong. As long as you have a place to park one of them, they could be good weekend cruisers. Which one better matches your style?
I knew the wagon would run away with the vote, but my heart is with Pontiac, plus I love that color, too bad the interior isn’t also green lol. Plenty of ways to wake up that V8 and tuning carbs are easy.
If I had the space I’d take a one way trip with Spirit Halloween Airlines and buy that wagon in a heartbeat.
Wagon is always the best choice.
Mercury here. I owned a ’72-73 Catalina back in the day. I liked the car, but don’t want another. If the only issue with the Mercury is the AC (and it’s post-R12), Then it’s worth fixing.
Wagon for the win! Although on pure nostalgia today for me. My high school girlfriend’s mother had a brand new one in late ’90. We took it on a few dates. You can figure out the rest. 😉 VERY roomy.
If I’m going to drive something a block long it is going to have carrying capacity, Wagon, Hatch, or Ute
The Mercury for me… not just because it’s a wagon, but because it’s a better car overall with a 4 speed automatic overdrive and fuel injection being the two main areas that it’s better. So while it’ll be a gas guzzler, it won’t be as bad of a gas guzzler as that Pontiac.
I lived through the days when these carbureted gas guzzling land yachts were in use. I have no nostalgia for them because they were CRAAAAAP compared to newer vehicles.
My entire car ownership resume has involved modern(ish) compact, front-drive, four cylinder cars.
Here we are with rear-drive V8 barges, in various states of malaise.
Do I want the ’76 Bicentennial edition Poncho? Now belching lead-free partially treated exhaust emissions! Comes included with miles of vacuum hoses and the unquenchable desire to buy a case of Billy Beer off eBay (not just for Jeep parts!).
Or George H.W. Bush ‘This aggression will not stand’ Mercury Colony Park with its Big Lebowski energy? The Dude abides.
I kinda want both. Am I broken?
Yes you are broken, but everyone on this site is in their own way.
Everyone except me!!
Oh you’re broken alright. Just differently broken.
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Exactly
Poncho, but only if your local DMV will let you have a plate that says “ASSMAN”.
(Yes, I know that Kramer’s car was an Impala, but this is pretty damn close)
Kramer: Assman? Oh, no, these don’t belong to me. I’m not the Assman. I think there’s been a mistake.
Clerk: What’s your name again?
Kramer: Cosmo Kramer.
Clerk: [checks computer again] Cosmo Kramer. You *are* the Assman.
Kramer: No! I’m not the Assman.
Clerk: Well, as far as the state of New York is concerned, you are!
How is this even a contest? Wagon all day looooooooong.
Where is the «both» button? I like either one but the Pontiac has a great color and is the one I’m leaning towards,but the wagon would be nice as well.
I had two BMW’s that literally “just needed a charge”. I put a can of that parts store “A/C recharge and seal” through each, then took it to a real mechanic for a flush and recharge. Both lasted years.
I love them both. I’ll have the proper dinosaur. Gimme that green Pontiac.
That Mercury is a manual-swap away from being awesome. Let’s go with that one.
Oh my dear lord, a Colony Park.
I spent a whole lot of my childhood in one of these, as my aunt owned one as their family’s primary brood schlepping vehicle from the mid 90s to the early 00’s. It was a lot like this one, but the entire interior was RED VINYL. Since I spent half my summers with them in eastern PA, well, I can still feel myself glued and cooking in that miserable vehicle.
The AC didn’t work in that one back in 1997, so I’m going to doubt that this one just “needs a charge” lol. Also, half the window regulators were busted, so you can imagine just how miserable it was to be in “the way back”. Which we often sat, two to a jump seat, for a total of 4 back there (one lapbelt on two kids each, gotta wear your seatbelt after all!). Fun fact, those jump seats were sideways, so you got to watch the tree-lined NYS Thruway bob up and down with the floaty suspension, and you desperately tried to not vomit.
This is the only vehicle I’ve vomited in.
I still voted for it because, I like many, suffer from the Stockholm Syndrome known as nostalgia.
My Grandparents had a succession of Chrysler wagons with the rear facing third row when I was a kid. I puked out the back window a number of times.
I would have puked out the back window if the damn window wasn’t taped shut, lol.
Both designs are around the same age LOL
Yeah that green is awesome! Too bad the interior isn’t green too. Yeah, they actually did that back then 😀
I”m getting old, 1991 doesn’t feel that long ago.
But it’s genuinely new enough to need airbags, and 3pt seatbelts. And I’m sure parts are still plentiful being on the Panther platform.
I voted for the green party but should have given it to the spot-on creative writer! LOL
Mercury all day every day, just so I could play this on the radio 24/7
https://youtu.be/KsYqIJqlPNc?list=RDKsYqIJqlPNc
And twice on Sundays
Mercury Monday for me.
The Mercury is a legendary wagon.
The Pontiac has ‘70s emissions kludge tech.
Is this even a competition?
Dad had the pre-facelifted version of the Merc longroof when I was learning to drive. Perfectly decent 80’s era wagon. It was even white on fake woodgrain like this one.
However, despite the nostalgia, I just want to be ensconced in the malaisey goodness of a big 70s land yacht. Yeah, sure, those 48 extra cubes will provide ~50 less HP than the 5.0, but the 3 spd will make sure those missing horses still gulp down their unfair share of Pleisiastic-era detritus juice.
I was going to vote for the Mercury regardless, the ad copy sealed the deal.
There’s little to like about the 70s and the 70s vibe. Jane Fonda in bell bottoms, but that’s about it. The cars sure as hell ain’t it and that includes this puke pea green Pontiac.
The Mercury wagon is fuel injected, doesn’t remind me of bad shag carpet, and is less likely to smog up my entire block when “running well”.
This splits me. Am I more of a wagon guy or Pontiac guy?
I’m going to pick the Mercury, because if I picked the Pontiac, I’d always want it to be a wagon instead.