I know we’ve had a lot of Monterey Car Week/Pebble Beach content lately, but there’s a good reason for that: we were just at Monterey Car Week/Pebble Beach. See the connection? It’s subtle, but it’s there. Even if one could somehow ignore the cars at Car Week, making it just Week, I think it could still be a fascinating event to witness, because of all the people there.
I know you want to know this hot behind-the-curtain goss, right? Sure you do! All you have to do is become a member.
The question the guy asked was douchy, and I understand that fingers touching exterior parts do less harm than bugs/rain/moose in mating season. The issue is that it’s just the nature of people to go past a decent boundary of respect and then you end up with pull knobs being pulled, blue leather dog genitals being fondled. It’s easier to cut through the noise of trying to educate people and just make a blanket statement of NO touching.
Perhaps the douchebag thought the rule was “no Torching”? So he felt you were being yourself and that was somehow not allowed?
Jason you can torch my cars anytime.
That person didn’t need to be passive aggressive about it. Being active aggressive is usually preferred.
Yes, a simple, “do not touch that, peasant,” with a sharp whack from a cane would have sufficed.
No, that would be wrong, because Torch is, in fact, royalty. Tail light royalty. The tween in question was a lackey of Bumper royalty, so the appropriate active aggressive thing to do would be to challenge him to a duel (unless said bumper also contains tailights, but this is a love match forbidden since the tail fin era).
That’s an even better argument for a good whacking. Torch needs to know his expertise resides in the rear, not in the front, and to please kind SIR keep his hands away from the front.
And you couldn’t show us a picture of the blue leather dog genitals as proof?
I cannot believe I just wrote that.
Yeah! he says it and then the big tease, holds out the photo proving it.
I feel like we should be able to get a glimpse of something in that first picture. It makes me wonder.
As long as you’re not checking the chewability of those blue leather dog genitals in public.
“the blue leather dog did indeed have blue leather dog genitals.”
That poor, poor dog. Doesn’t he know how to lick his blues away?
If I had a single ounce of musical talent I’d claim The Blue Leather Dog Genitals as a band name.
As a vintage car dashboard enthusiast (we don’t frequent the taillight bars) attempts to take pictures of them can be challenging. Between the camera, strap, occasionally loose shirts, and a large hat festooned with a variety of items, I have to be really careful of all of it when leaning in to get a good shot. Occasionally an owner will see me struggling and offer to open the door, and have even been invited to sit inside. One memorable time, the owner asked if I wanted to sit in, what is one of my favorite vehicle, his ’67 XKE Jaguar convertible. It was glorious, and not in pristine condition.
I show my Grandfather’s 1930 Model A Sport Coupe that I restored many years ago from time to time and I love to show kids how to get in and out of the rumble seat. I’ll let Mom and dad sit up front and take a family photo for them if they want. I enjoy doing this and if it means repainting the fender every now and then so be it
Yeah, at a car show, no matter the collective “worth”, you shouldn’t touch without asking (unless there’s signage that say otherwise). I get that it’s a strong impulse, which is why I consciously put my hands in my pockets at things like cars shows, museum tours, etc. where you’re supposed to look and not touch. Agreed it was a pretty snarky way of admonishing, so you’ll just have to figure out some standard snarky replies if you want to go that route.
So, did the lady offer any touching of the purse? Inquiring minds want to know.
As someone who sees by touching as well I fully sympathize. I almost got in trouble at many museums and I am under constant surveillance by my significant other and well-meaning friends. The young douche deserves opprobrium. I also think that lady in red fancies you a bit.
No touchy without asking.
Ask, with enthusiasm and aee? I’ll give you the farking keys to drive the thing.
I can’t imagine the madness of car week, and while seeing exotic vehicles I would never normally see is appealing, dealing with this event isn’t a bucket list item even if I only live 2 hrs away. I much prefer going to the local 4 car shows of the small towns around me. Sure there’s always several with the ‘don’t touch’ signs or literally roping it off, but there are so many where the owner(s) are sitting on lawn chairs and are thrilled someone is showing interest in there baby.
And I’m formally on the side of don’t touch without permission. Just ask, it ain’t hard. Well I guess it would be there, with the amount of owners who barely know the kind of car they have.
No touch, unless you ask or are offered to touch.
Just grab it by the Bustleback.
I have no problem with you touching, licking, fondling, any car of mine, but it’s probably best to ask first if it’s not my car. Also, dude was just being ah, erm, impolite calling you out as not the owner. A simple, “Please don’t touch.” would have been reasonable.
I draw the line at licking or biting… Do you really want your car to smell like clams?
I don’t mind it. I’m a bit mollusk-minded.
“Is this your car?”
“No. Are you some random asshole?”
That’s the thing, I also kind of doubt it was his car, or the car of anyone affiliated with him (like family). He obviously knew the answer to the “question”, but I feel like he’d have said something else if he was actually connected to it.
Did she let you touch them?
It happened so suddenly she didn’t have time to react until he was preparing to move on to licking.
He for sure asked though. You don’t just touch someone’s blue leather dog genitals without asking.
Like all of us, completely agree no touching is correct, etc. but if there ever was a time for “do you even know who I am?!,” this is it.
Followed by “I’m just touching it with MY FINGERS!” Bonus points for simultaneously sweatily grabbing his upper arm.
Your next move should have been to lick said part, stand up, puff out your chest, and say “you’re next, shower spaghetti!”
Right or wrong, I would’ve kicked the smarmy bastard in the balls till his family jewels matched that lady’s dog purse. But that’s probably just me.
I never touch other peoples’ stuff, but I can’t stand stuffy people, either. Really, I found PB so full of insufferable AHs that I thought it might have been worth losing all those cars to blow the cliff. It had been a bucket list event and it turned out to be more disappointing than my one KMFDM concert (I think they must have been in a huge fight before going on stage).
I don’t have a wallet-swinging car, but I have a ~1912 Iver Johnson truss Special Racer in good original condition (I did do some minor restoration and full recommissioning), wood wheels, old Troxel saddle, whatever. Value isn’t anything to retire on even in Ecuador, but it is something that antique bike nerds get excited over as it was a top brand at the time (and builder of the world’s most valuable motorcycle and guns with an infamous ad of a little girl playing with one “safely” in bed with her doll. Oh, also several high profile assassinations, but I’m not here about guns) and Marshall “Major” Taylor won a championship on one (no truss tube on his, though—it was optional on Special Racers and his was an earlier one, anyway). I exhibited it at an antique bike show next to a bunch of typical hardons with their antiques covered in “do not touch” signs. F that—it’s a f’n bike, not a Faberge egg. Not only did I let people touch it who asked about it, I let them ride it. Some younger guy was beaming that I let him take it for a quick spin. I bought it partly because I wanted to know how similar and different a top race bike of the time would feel today and it’s not like you can just go to a bike shop or museum and try out some history. Truss bar aside, it’s a recognizable diamond frame, but the geometry and construction is quite different. Anyway, I didn’t buy it to hoard it or lord over it at a show with lightning bolts to strike down people who showed too much interest in the bike and no fealty to its almighty owner, I bought it to enjoy and to share and hopefully doing so would encourage the hobby. So, while I agree that you certainly should have asked for permission to touch the car, that needle dick can also get bent or keep his car in his garage where the unwashed plebes won’t get too close and get a pump to address his, uh, short comings.
That sounds awaesome!! How often do we actually get to experience old technology? Heck, I’ve never ridden in; let alone driven, a car from before the ’70s. I feel we miss out by not trying this kind of stuff.
Exactly. That’s why I let people experience it—we’re all enthusiasts at such events and certainly anyone who’s excited by an old bicycle is. I’m not remotely concerned someone’s going to do something damaging and, WTF, it survived two world wars (with scrap drives that saw even a Duesenberg consumed), a depression, and general lack of appreciation for some old bike. It has some minor marks related to its life (small dents on the seat stays from a pre-war style rear rack which makes me wonder if it was used as basic transportation during the Depression or WW2 when fuel was rationed), so what’s another minor scratch as a worst case scenario? I do get the high wheelers not letting people ride as that’s a major liability, but nobody is going to damage it by squeezing the hollow pre-pneumatic tires.
If I had fancy cars, I’d be the same way. OK, I wouldn’t let people drive them around a show, but certainly some respectful interaction, maybe sit in them. When I was a kid, the first Countach I saw was at an Italian car show (same place I displayed the bike, but they no longer do bike shows) and the guy was letting all the kids sit in it, making everyone’s day while their parents smiled, and I’ve thought since: besides this and picking up chicks, why the f else would you own such a thing? (And, really, I wouldn’t want the chicks I could pick up with an expensive car.) It’s not like these filthy rich parasites couldn’t afford some minor detailing if a scuff or something occurs, either. Why even show it? I know why, and it’s not about being an enthusiast.
I think this is a bit of a strange perspective from you. “I know I’m wrong, but I don’t care” would rightfully be considered really poor social behavior.
In any case, no, you shouldn’t touch cars at a car show.
You had it right over here: “unless the amount of traffic and touching that this car is likely to get is of such a high volume that wear is actually an issue”
Car shows have exactly the conditions for a ton of traffic and touching which can lead to wear.
Not just wear. Jason knows how not to damage a car when fondling it and then the non-car guy next to him sees him touch it and thinks it’s ok for him to do the same, and the next thing you know the paint is scratched because the guy wasn’t careful about his jacket buttons.
Plus, as I understand judging there, a speck of dust on the dashboard clock is essentially a disqualifying event. Fingerprints on the chrome could mean the difference between placing and not.
I agree with Jason that people can touch my car if they want, but it’s definitely something you need to ask permission for.
I’m thinking of a scenario like this, “Hey George, ya know that blue leather we’ve had so much trouble moving as a purse fabric”?,
George , “Ya, thought that would be a mover, but it ain’t, what’s up?”
“Well just got an order for a dog shape purse in that color, that’ll get rid of our blue leather stock, though the order has some specifics that made me scratch my head”
George, “how so?”
“They want it to have the dogs sausage and eggs too”
George, “what have I told you about customer’s order requests?”
“The customer gets what they requested no questions asked?”
George, “that’s right!, now make and ship that baby before they change their minds!!!”
I would have jiu-jitsued the conversation for maximum confusion by giving him a withering look and saying, “Sorry son, it’s not for sale!”
Jason shouldn’t have touched the car, no argument there, but how about some more suggestions for pithy answers to his pathetic leading question?
“It might be. Are those your trousers?”
I’m not going to touch this subject with a ten foot pole.
Yeah like none of what you wrote makes any sense. I expect that from me but not from a professional, okay semi professional, auto writer
> semi
Come on, Jason is not that short.