Home » The Tesla Roadster Is More Insane Than You Could Possibly Have Imagined

The Tesla Roadster Is More Insane Than You Could Possibly Have Imagined

Tesla Roadster Top

After nearly a decade of radio silence and grand promises, the new Tesla Roadster is almost here. And my god, is it ever much, much weirder than imagined. For one, it looks completely different to the second-generation Roadster we saw roughly a decade ago. Think less Model 3 and more Lotus Esprit, with a wedgy silhouette and billionaire doors. There’s even a touch of Reventon to the general headlight shape, a bit of Diablo GTR to the front bumper, and a whiff of Testarossa to the haunches. However, what’s around back is even more interesting.

As shown in the absurd launch video, like the McMurtry Speirling the new Tesla Roadster is a fan car, capable of sucking itself down to the pavement even when parked, seemingly with enough force to hold it upside-down at a standstill. The fans work with an active rear wing to manipulate downforce on demand, with a low-drag configuration for high-speed running, a high-downforce configuration for track work, and settings in between. From Tesla:

Vidframe Min Top
Vidframe Min Bottom

Our multi-mode fan and ground sealing system acts as a downforce generator, pulling air out from beneath the vehicle. This provides enough suction to hold the vehicle upside down, even when stationary. Powered fans and active wings maximize traction and cornering speeds in all conditions, achieving massive downforce at zero speed. A next-gen steer-by-wire system offers incredible feedback in various road conditions. Activate Track Mode to lower the car and transform the suspension. High downforce or low drag modes can then be used as needed on the track.

Screenshot 2026 10 15 At 7.16.55 pm
Image: Tesla

The fans aren’t the party piece everyone will be talking about, though, and neither is the inboard suspension. The Roadster features a bevy of cold-gas thrusters aim to aid acceleration and, um, other stuff. The former, resulting in a claimed zero-to-60 mph time of 0.81 seconds. The latter, well…

Screenshot 2026 10 15 At 7.13.15 pm
Image:Tesla

On Tesla’s livestream, the marque showed the Roadster kickflipping over the entire Tesla range, including the Semi. No ramp, just vertical takeoff. Is that even legal? Actually, don’t answer that. Other stuff you need to know: A 230 MPH top speed, steer-by-wire, and targeted production in 2028. Still, zero-to-60 mph in 0.81 seconds alone would be insane. The quickest production cars on the planet right now take nearly a second longer. And flight? Flight? Really?

Tesla Roadster New 04
Screenshot: Tesla

If this actually makes it to production as-is, it’s going to be bonkers. Elon Musk, wearing a T-shirt roughly two sizes too tight, just announced he wants to see it jump the Snake River Canyon. Tesla also claims to be targeting an eventual top speed of Mach 0.5, or about 383 MPH. Dozens more miles-per-hour than even the fastest existing machinery, and that’s even being generous and assuming the from-behind-the-balls measurement of a unidirectional run is used. There are plenty of reasons to be skeptical here. Skeptical of legislative approval, of the usefulness of the technology, of whether the Roadster will meet its lofty targets. It’s definitely warranted.

Tesla Roadster New 07
Screenshot: Tesla

This isn’t the first time Tesla’s made grand promises, and a car with a vertical is perhaps the grandest yet. The marque’s light on information about how it’ll achieve its targets, how much it will cost, EPA range, and all that. But it can do a kickflip. Right. What we can say for now is that the first versions of the car will have the fan system, but will only have rockets at the back. Other axes of thrust allegedly come later, and are invitation-only.

Tesla Roadster 2026 10 15 At 6.14.56 pm
Screenshot: Tesla

In some ways, it’s like if Tesla took that Lamborghini bit from “Top Gear” literally. Invisible, lasers, can fly, etc. Of course the glass is tinted with copper. Of course Tesla claims the paint on the Roadster is optimized for space. Because that’s a real concern of most customers. Of course the seating position’s fixed like in a Ford GT, and of course it’s steer-by-wire like a Cybertruck. Come to think of it, steer-by-wire might be a benefit at high speeds, just slowing the ratio right down so the private equity guys who’ll buy these won’t immediately enter the nearest hedge backwards.

Tesla Roadster New 05
Screenshot: Tesla

Even the concept of a rocket-assisted production car is very dumb. Sure, cold-gas thrusters don’t involve combustion and instead rely on pressurized inert gas to generate thrust, but is giving people the option to use them a brilliant idea? I mean, you’d draw some extraordinarily derisive gestures if you attempted to use them at the lights. Or in the McDonald’s drive-thru. And don’t get me started on thrusters beneath the car. That sounds like a lawsuit waiting to happen, a real-life version of the vertical takedown from the “Burnout” franchise if used irresponsibly. Come to think of it, what would using it responsibly look like? Racetracks would generally frown upon it, airfields might not be happy, how many places in the world will give express permission to launch a Tesla Roadster straight up into the air?

Tesla Roadster 2026 10 15 At 6.15.40 pm
Screenshot: Tesla

However, one thing’s undeniable: This is one of the craziest things I’ve ever seen. It leaves the world with so many more questions than answers right now, and it’ll be fun seeing where some of those answers lead. Especially because what we all saw basically redlines the bullshitometer. What an absolutely unhinged thing. You can certainly accuse the new Tesla Roadster of a lot, but ‘being boring’ isn’t on the list. Either we’re looking at the next Veyron or the next piece of vaporware. Only one way to find out, right?

More Images:

Screenshot 2026 10 15 At 7.12.57 pm
Image: Tesla

Screenshot 2026 10 15 At 7.13.53 pm

Screenshot 2026 10 15 At 7.12.45 pm
Image: Tesla
Screenshot 2026 10 15 At 7.18.21 pm
Image:Tesla
Tesla Roadster Interior
Image: Tesla
Tesla Roadster Suspension
Image: Tesla

Top graphic image: Tesla

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Anders
Anders
1 day ago

How fitting that the world’s biggest snake oil salesman wants to jump over the Snake River Canyon.

Last edited 1 day ago by Anders
Nlpnt
Member
Nlpnt
15 hours ago
Reply to  Anders

Maybe he should do Springfield Gorge. Hit every rock on the way to the bottom just like Homer did.

Evo_CS
Evo_CS
1 day ago

This is just not a serious car company anymore. I’m sure the stock will bump from this because logic has been purged from the markets.

Goddamn it. This thing could’ve been something kind of amazing, even despite Elon’s stench on it. Instead, it’s just even more nonsense and bullshit than usual.
Top fuel dragsters can hit 60 mph in 0.4-0.5 seconds. For this to do the deed in a claimed 0.81 is highly doubtable. The aerobatics? Good luck insuring that even if it somehow was deemed road legal.

Last edited 1 day ago by Evo_CS
CR-V Oswald
Member
CR-V Oswald
1 day ago
Reply to  Evo_CS

Does road legality apply to a vehicle’s behavior when it doesn’t touch the road?

Johnologue
Member
Johnologue
1 day ago
Reply to  CR-V Oswald

Ah, back to the Silicon Valley classic: Just doing a crime in a new way the law doesn’t recognize!

CR-V Oswald
Member
CR-V Oswald
1 day ago
Reply to  Johnologue

Exactly! When people say the law / regulators haven’t caught up with a particular tech, it’s really that they haven’t caught up with unethical or criminal uses of said tech. E.g. the newest Meta glasses and Amazon spying devices.

Johnologue
Member
Johnologue
1 day ago
Reply to  CR-V Oswald

“Personalized pricing!”
“So, you’re charging people different prices for the same product or service based on opaque criteria without telling them?”
“No, it’s NEW TECHNOLOGY.”

CR-V Oswald
Member
CR-V Oswald
1 day ago
Reply to  Johnologue

That makes me wonder if the big real estate sites show different listings for a given search query based on IP address, device use, load times (all available and correlatable with socioeconomic status, ethnicity, etc.)

Bill Loney
Bill Loney
20 hours ago
Reply to  CR-V Oswald

With bidding wars on every property – asking prices are imaginative anyway.

CR-V Oswald
Member
CR-V Oswald
19 hours ago
Reply to  Bill Loney

Has that craziness started again? Eugh.

Bill Loney
Bill Loney
14 hours ago
Reply to  CR-V Oswald

Been that way for the past few years. It stinks buying a house now.

Johnologue
Member
Johnologue
16 hours ago
Reply to  CR-V Oswald

“We made Uber, but for segregation”

Space
Space
1 day ago

I’m all for jumping cars over the snake river, wether it makes it or not it should be interesting.

I’m assuming no driver so nobody dies when it crashes into a cliff.

CR-V Oswald
Member
CR-V Oswald
1 day ago
Reply to  Space

Maybe Musk believes his own hype and will volunteer to drive it himself.

Bill Loney
Bill Loney
20 hours ago
Reply to  Space

I presume no human as it eliminates human error. It would have to be all computer programming for sure. Maybe he’ll add an ‘Evel’ mode to the self driving. There’s already ‘Mad Max’

Mike F.
Member
Mike F.
1 day ago

Just in and of itself, the reveal was amazing. Even if they never produce one for sale to the public, it’s a pretty wild and fun thing. Of course, just as having someone you really admire stick up for new product makes it more attractive, having a dickhead like Elon sticking up for it makes it far less attractive. He’s a lying sack of shit and I dearly hope he gets his comeuppance one of these days. Screw his “roadster” and screw him.

Last edited 1 day ago by Mike F.
Tom
Tom
1 day ago

Fuck elon

Space
Space
1 day ago
Reply to  Tom

Eew, no thank you.

Fix It Again Tony
Fix It Again Tony
1 day ago

Where do they get that gas? Is it a hybrid if you have to fill up? And wow, that’s another ugly car from that company.

Last edited 1 day ago by Fix It Again Tony
Bill Loney
Bill Loney
20 hours ago

Looked it up –

The Tesla Roadster’s SpaceX-derived cold-gas thrusters use compressed air (primarily nitrogen) stored at ultra-high pressures (ranging from roughly 5,500 psi to 10,000 psi) in a carbon-fiber-wrapped pressure vessel (COPV).

• No Combustion: The system does not burn fuel; it simply expels high-pressure gas through cold-gas nozzles.
• Replenishment: The car uses an onboard compressor/suction system to recharge the air tanks over time

I’m thinking for acceleration – these will be a really really expensive option.

Fix It Again Tony
Fix It Again Tony
12 hours ago
Reply to  Bill Loney

This on board compressor in a car that can do 10000 psi is more sci-fi than a flying car.

Tony Belding
Member
Tony Belding
1 day ago

Was this entertaining? Sure, I guess. However. . . Everyone keeps saying crazy, bonkers, insane as if those were words of praise. I don’t think I’m insane, and I don’t want an insane car. These goofy, self-parodying, jump-the-shark stunts aren’t relevant in any way to anything that I want to actually do with a car. We weren’t even given basic specifications. It looks like they took out the glass targa top (of the 2017 demo car) in favor of novelty doors-that-go-up. Lame.

Vetatur Fumare
Member
Vetatur Fumare
18 hours ago
Reply to  Tony Belding

If I had this sort of money, I would have someone make me a factory new Citroën AX GT five-door. That’s what I want.

I Farted So Hard it Hurts
I Farted So Hard it Hurts
1 day ago

This man just cut off starlink access for the Ukraine because in his words they’ve “gone too far” in how they dare defend themselves by blowing up Russian oil facilities. Buying into the narrative that they’re the cause of high diesel prices versus the bullshit in Iran.

I don’t care if it runs on magic pony farts . I’m done with everything this man owns or runs.

RC
RC
1 day ago

He didn’t though. I have my own grievances with Musk, but operational control of Star Shield– which is an operational entity distinct from Star Link – resides entirely within the US Department of War and Department of State. Musk wasn’t and can’t be involved in the decision. (Starshield description: SpaceX Starshield – Wikipedia ). And this is likewise not uncommon; DoW isn’t going to risk compromise of its assets via civilian vectors, so Musk isn’t empowered to really do anything with the Starshield network once it’s emplaced beyond what his contract with DoW permits.

There are lots of reasons to dislike Trump or Musk, but given you are presumably seeking to be knowledgeable on the technicalities on which you form your opinions, it would likely behoove you to understand them accurately.

Raymond
Raymond
1 day ago
Reply to  Elon's Musk

Indeed! And Autopian you could stop using x/twitter, that would be a start.

6thtimearound
6thtimearound
1 day ago
Reply to  RC

It’s still the Department of Defense. Only Congress can change the name of the agency.

Elon's Musk
Member
Elon's Musk
1 day ago
Reply to  RC
RC
RC
1 day ago
Reply to  Elon's Musk

Huh? What the hell does that have to do with Starlink?

Elon's Musk
Member
Elon's Musk
1 day ago
Reply to  RC

Elon has been appointed to fund his baby momma’s fun little AI drone project, but it’s cool because they broke up the week before and now FLYING CARS OMG DONT LOOK WHERE THE MONEY IS GOING

also let’s ignore your disinformation about the starlink, you clown

Last edited 1 day ago by Elon's Musk
RC
RC
1 day ago
Reply to  Elon's Musk

Upthread is a discussion on Ukraine and Starlink. Not anything about baby mamas or AI.

Like I said, everybody’s entitled to their hate, but please figure out how comment threading works.

Elon's Musk
Member
Elon's Musk
1 day ago
Reply to  RC

It’s all war is it not?

Elon's Musk
Member
Elon's Musk
1 day ago
Reply to  RC

Also, please do respond up thread to the link I posted, you clown

Elon's Musk
Member
Elon's Musk
1 day ago
Reply to  RC

Can we ban this guy?

Elon's Musk
Member
Elon's Musk
1 day ago
Reply to  RC

The car is a distraction from the drone contract https://shield.ai/shield-ai-welcomes-shivon-zilis-to-board-of-directors/

I Farted So Hard it Hurts
I Farted So Hard it Hurts
20 hours ago
Reply to  RC

The dude who responded to you with that link tells me you’re wrong. The guy is a flaming piece of shit. And the more than the average person realizes it, perhaps less money will fill this man’s pockets to do more harm to the general public.

RC
RC
19 hours ago

Which link? The one from 2025 (which you’ll note, is a year ago)? Or the one that had nothing to do with Starlink?

The 2025 is basically a “Tell me you don’t know how ITAR/EAR and export control works without telling me you don’t know how it works” and is fundamentally non-responsive to your claim about what happened in Ukraine this past week.

Like, do you want to persuade people? Or just get angry? If you want to persuade people who are knowledgeable on the topics you purport to hold opinions on, then it would behoove you to become knowledgeable.

Which gives me this opportunity to ask:

In 2026, when Starshield limited max speed of terminals to 160kph in Ukraine, was said decision made by Musk, or by the US Government?

Elon's Musk
Member
Elon's Musk
18 hours ago
Reply to  RC
RC
RC
17 hours ago
Reply to  Elon's Musk

Jesus, that might be the most Poe’s-law statement I’ve ever seen.

Yes, the specifics do matter.

I Farted So Hard it Hurts
I Farted So Hard it Hurts
18 hours ago
Reply to  RC

Whoopsies. Guess we need to provide this year’s instance-huh?

https://newrepublic.com/post/216600/ukraine-loses-starlink-access-musk-zelenskiy-too-far

https://www.yahoo.com/news/politics/articles/ukraine-loses-starlink-access-musk-125859058.html

Anyway, if Adolf Hitler walked into the room what would you say?
A: He’s an A-ok guy and its all a misunderstanding
B: He’s a POS.

RC
RC
17 hours ago

Do you read your own links?

A Ukrainian military official claimed Wednesday that Musk’s SpaceX had interrupted functioning of the country’s military-grade Starlink terminals, Reuters reported

Those are Star Shield, as I discussed way up thread, and once again, not Musk’s choice, because those are operated by the US Government.

Once again, you have an opportunity to better understand what you’re talking about, and have declined it because you wish to place your ideological biases ahead of facts.

We are finally talking about this week’s issues, but you have once again overlooked who actually causes the issue you’re discussing.

I Farted So Hard it Hurts
I Farted So Hard it Hurts
17 hours ago
Reply to  RC

Go ahead and keep defending that guy. Makes you look really smart.

RC
RC
17 hours ago

Again, an opportunity to improve your understanding, and you’re just… accusing me of dealing in facts? I don’t get it.

Three comments up, I asked: Was the decision, this week, to limit Star Shield in the Ukrainian theater to 160kph Musk’s, or the US Government’s? That’s what you were angry about, in your initial comment.

I’m not defending Musk, just pointing out that the actions you ascribe to him weren’t his. You’ve managed to Godwin this thread (congrats), but you don’t seem to grasp that the thing you were so angry about, you were wrong about. Which is fine, we all make mistakes. If you wish to convince others of how terrible Musk is, you should probably know what he’s done and what he hasn’t.

Do you (A) Understand the difference between Star Shield and Star link for civilians? And (B) understand who controls the former?

Elon's Musk
Member
Elon's Musk
17 hours ago
Reply to  RC

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gish_gallop

You’re nauncing around Elon’s growing influence on the defense industry. Ukraine was relying on his technology and it let them down. I am not interested in the details of military industrial complex that led to that event. If Elon is as great as he is, it wouldn’t have been a problem.

This is relevant because:

https://www.npr.org/2026/10/06/nx-s1-5991899/elon-musk-palmer-luckey-pentagon-drones-ai

I Farted So Hard it Hurts
I Farted So Hard it Hurts
17 hours ago
Reply to  Elon's Musk

So are you also going to defend Elon’s very vocal push to cancel close to 2 billion dollars of government funding cancer research? That includes cuts to pediatric cancer research. That includes cuts to programs that funded the very research used by both clinics that my Dad- who is currently fighting cancer- relies on.

If you would like I could find a lot of other instances like these. Would you like to spend a few minutes determining how you will defend your idol on this?

https://www.cnbc.com/2026/09/25/nih-cuts-delayed-a-cancer-trial-patients-lost-time-they-didnt-have.html

Last edited 17 hours ago by I Farted So Hard it Hurts
That Belgian Guy
That Belgian Guy
1 day ago

Exept they didn’t.
Somehow offensive capabilities were up so blowing up Russion oil facilities was only halted because of the agreement with Trump.
But defensive capabilities were down and pedestrian targets in Ukraine were hit. Hard.

No, I don’t claim I understand any of it. But all of it reads depressing.

I Farted So Hard it Hurts
I Farted So Hard it Hurts
17 hours ago

Pretty easy for me. The dude is an asshole. And I don’t want to spend my money on assholes or their products.

Rockchops
Member
Rockchops
1 day ago

I am not a big fan of Elon or Tesla in general but I do appreciate the absolute insanity of this. Even as a cinematic reveal.

Protodite
Protodite
20 hours ago
Reply to  Rockchops

Sorry dude, I don’t know if you saw from the comments but you’re not allowed to hold any positive opinion about this

I Farted So Hard it Hurts
I Farted So Hard it Hurts
18 hours ago
Reply to  Protodite

Its pretty hard to love or like something when the person behind it is a terrible human being who has hurt a lot of people in this country and elsewhere.

Protodite
Protodite
14 hours ago

And that’s why the Volkswagen Beetle was a reviled failure the world over and Porsche is a detested, long dead brand that joined the graveyard along with Ford, right?

I Farted So Hard it Hurts
I Farted So Hard it Hurts
3 hours ago
Reply to  Protodite

So are you making an excuse for their present behavior from past behavior? If so, I’m trying to understand the logic behind that

Rockchops
Member
Rockchops
13 hours ago

Its actually really easy to separate the person from the thing. I wouldn’t buy a tesla, even used, nor would I work for Tesla or Musk orgs. But I can appreciate the engineering that goes into their product (less so the aesthetic designs).

Consider the inverse. If idk, Gandhi or Mother Theresa designed the Cybertruck, does that make it a great design that everyone rallies behind? No, it still looks like a dumb fucking dumpster.

I Farted So Hard it Hurts
I Farted So Hard it Hurts
3 hours ago
Reply to  Rockchops

I find it very difficult in fact. Because I view Elon as a tool and a part of the apparatus of all of the awfulness that’s been happening to this country -which has been amplified and concentrated over the last 2 years. And it’s also stupid because all he had to do was just shut the fuck up and stay out of politics and still be the world’s richest man. Even maybe even richer than that by far.

So yeah, I view it as toxic poison. And I don’t care if the engineering is great. The Germans had V2 rockets in world war II which were also pretty great from an engineering perspective, but I don’t think anyone’s exactly celebrating that.

Jatco Xtronic CVT
Member
Jatco Xtronic CVT
1 day ago

The likelihood of this being released with all the capabilities we’ve seen is about the same likelihood I have of making it to 500k miles without fail.

Last edited 1 day ago by Jatco Xtronic CVT
CR-V Oswald
Member
CR-V Oswald
1 day ago

Are you OK? This is an uncharacteristic display of self-doubt.

Gudendrunk
Gudendrunk
1 day ago

after all the years of teasing and excuses for delays the swastikoup looks terrible

Library of Context
Member
Library of Context
1 day ago

Flight by this car will be legal in two states.

In Texas they’ll write laws explicitly to allow this behavior on all interstates.

And Ohio has no laws.

Username Loading....
Member
Username Loading....
1 day ago

Ohio has 1 law

KGurrier
Member
KGurrier
1 day ago

All this and somehow I’m still underwhelmed.

Ishkabibbel
Member
Ishkabibbel
1 day ago

. . . whatever.

He seems more interested in out China-ing the Chinese automakers than making a real, usable vehicle. But then, Tesla hasn’t seemed interested in making a usable vehicle in a while.

M. Park Hunter
Member
M. Park Hunter
1 day ago

Remember the Darwin Awards, and that urban myth about the guy who strapped a rocket to the roof of his Chevy and splattered himself on a cliff?

Elon’s going to to build the car. (Maybe.)

He really needs to change the name of his company to Acme.

Ineffable
Ineffable
1 day ago

Watched the reveal with my son.

We were both amazed and entertained. Awestruck, really. But 14 year olds are easily entertained and easily inspired.

They haven’t been jaded by years of whatever has poisoned the souls of the autopian commentariat. Joyless and sad you are.

Mechjaz
Member
Mechjaz
1 day ago
Reply to  Ineffable

I mean. I’m impressed you had a son at 14 years old. That’s starting real early.

That said, being sensible and not having a delighted meltdown when a compulsive liar gets on a stage to lie to you doesn’t mean you’re joyless. It means you have critical thinking and when you have mountains of evidence of a liar lying to you, you remember to think of that when the liar gets up to lie to you again, no matter how many people around you are awestruck by the sparkling of the sand they’ve stuck their heads in.

There’s no question I’m a grump around here, but you’d have to be pretty delusional to think anything Musk is selling vaguely resembles the truth. He’s got a solid decade of large scale, very public bullshittery to his name at this point, and his behavior before that had basically been proved out to be “accidentally doing a good thing once in a while” than “intentional and moral good.”

Whale Tail
Member
Whale Tail
1 day ago
Reply to  Ineffable

Seriously lol… Say whatever you want, the Elon hate is absolutely warranted, but we just saw something totally bonkers. Little rockets on a flying by car! Like we didn’t all daydream of something like that as kids.

We can acknowledge that it was really cool to see while still hating Elon, folks here don’t seem to realize that

Elon's Musk
Member
Elon's Musk
1 day ago
Reply to  Whale Tail

Given his resources, if the release was actually that the roadster is a real live dragon (of course there’s cinema to prove its real) would you want to acknowledge that?

Frankly, I’m disappointed in The Autopian for pushing 3 stories about this.

The dude is gearing up to be the next Hitler let’s not cheer him on for this stunt until we can hold him to it.

Protodite
Protodite
20 hours ago
Reply to  Whale Tail

See, somehow I don’t think that the “discussion” section on the posts about the new Porsche concept have a lot of comments about how Ferdinand Porsche was an actual nazi, but who knows man. You’ve gotta show you have The Right Opinions and that’s about it round here it seems

Rod Millington
Member
Rod Millington
1 day ago
Reply to  Ineffable

I watched the videos of it flipping and was amazed at putting SpaceX controls into a car. That’s about it.

I’m all about manufacturers having fun with cars again and to stop being so serious, but this isn’t it. This is vaporware from a notorious grifter, liar and fascist. I feel for the engineers who had to work 24/7 to get this PR distraction ready.

Rockchops
Member
Rockchops
18 hours ago
Reply to  Ineffable

That’s also my take. Musk being a piece of shit and this being a really creative and bonkers reveal/product are mutually exclusive. He does know how to put on a good show sometimes.

Asmallcat
Asmallcat
18 hours ago
Reply to  Ineffable

I feel like I’m losing my mind! This is not a real car jumping unassisted on compressed gas thrusters! Holy shit I cannot believe people are looking at this and thinking it’s real. No one gets out of the car at the end. There’s no live audience at the jump. It doesn’t behave in the air as something with the weight of a car being launched only by thrusters would, everything is immediate.

My money is on it being a foam car on wires and the puffs of air are just for show. I suppose it could be a real car on wires but that adds a lot of complication. Next most likely thing is that it’s just AI video.

How is doing a stunt that Hollywood has been able to do for decades amazing? There’s nothing new here.

Nlpnt
Member
Nlpnt
1 day ago

2028? Isn’t that a full decade since the first announcement? A full decade in which they could’ve shoehorned a Model 3 battery pack and motors into a bought-in Miata glider with a KISS mindset and quietly shipped it with an announcement only when it’s in stock and available to purchase RIGHT NOW?

Tim Cougar
Member
Tim Cougar
1 day ago

I am assuming every video of this car is generative AI until proven otherwise.

Pinto Panopticon
Member
Pinto Panopticon
1 day ago

0-60 in 0.81 is physically…
3.4 Gs, which is enough to contribute to an aortic aneurysm in some people.
…and this would happen in about 45 feet. So like three parked cars and we’re up to highway speeds?
The thing about acceleration is you’re reducing your experience. That’s why I think cars in the 4-6 second range are kind of best. You want to experience the acceleration. Someone in this Tesla is going to have bad neck pain in less than one second. How memorable of an experience is 0.81 seconds?

Space
Space
1 day ago

It’s unlikely 3.4 G’s is dangerous from a health perspective. The G force would be applied in the direction humans are most resistant, front to back, and the duration is short.

The dangerous part is what’s outside of the car when you accelerate that quickly (crash).

Rod Millington
Member
Rod Millington
1 day ago
Reply to  Space

Or behind the car so you don’t get blasted.

CR-V Oswald
Member
CR-V Oswald
1 day ago
Reply to  Space

Speed doesn’t kill you, suddenly becoming stationary does.

Bill Loney
Bill Loney
20 hours ago
Reply to  Space

With all the self driving and self landing rocket tech – there’s no way that the 0.81 launch would be allowed by the car unless it’s in a clear area.

CR-V Oswald
Member
CR-V Oswald
1 day ago

OTOH I’m willing to accept the risk that anyone willing and able to buy this may have an adverse health event.

VictoriousSandwich
Member
VictoriousSandwich
14 hours ago
Reply to  CR-V Oswald

Hopefully Elon calls dibs on the first run.

Pater Corpus
Member
Pater Corpus
15 hours ago

I’m curious what would happen if the steering isn’t rail-straight when you hit the button.

Rich Mason
Rich Mason
1 day ago

Still waiting for delivery of my own personal flame thrower.

I call shenanigans here.

Last edited 1 day ago by Rich Mason
D-dub
Member
D-dub
1 day ago

Ketamine Dream or Snake Oil Sales Pitch?

FndrStrat06
FndrStrat06
1 day ago
Reply to  D-dub

Por que no los dos?

D-dub
Member
D-dub
19 hours ago
Reply to  FndrStrat06

The answer hinges on whether or not he believes his own bullshit.

FndrStrat06
FndrStrat06
19 hours ago
Reply to  D-dub

He’ll believe whatever increases his net worth and the stock price.

Addlightness
Addlightness
1 day ago

But I thought Tesla was a robotics company now? Or is it an automation company? Or is it an AI company?

VictoriousSandwich
Member
VictoriousSandwich
14 hours ago
Reply to  Addlightness

I mean the only way this car could come close to being usable in the real world is if it was self-driving?

Andrea Petersen
Andrea Petersen
1 day ago

0.81 0-60 is gonna put all those private equity bros in the ditch long before they manage any actually impressive speed. And even if it doesn’t quite make that number, the reality is the private equity bros who will buy into that kind of bullshit are the kind of people who will likely put it into the nearest ditch within days of delivery anyway. 0.81, 1.0, 1.5 whatever the actual number is, it will probably result in rich idiots leaving the pavement.

Rich Mason
Rich Mason
1 day ago

Sounds like a win to me.

Pinto Panopticon
Member
Pinto Panopticon
1 day ago

Now that I think this car will go to private equity bros, I kind of like it a lot more.

CR-V Oswald
Member
CR-V Oswald
1 day ago

Cool, I’d watch that YouTube series.

M. Park Hunter
Member
M. Park Hunter
1 day ago

The main thing the Roadster isn’t, is a roadster (noun: a car without a roof and with only two seats).

Everything else about this is a party trick for rich jerks… or more likely, flim-flam and puffery.

If it actually incorporates half these features, it will weigh five tons and suck to drive. So, also not like a roadster.

Farmer Meeple
Farmer Meeple
1 day ago
Reply to  M. Park Hunter

They will never make it. And if they do, it’ll sell even worse than the cyber dumpster.

Edit: I agree with your take 100%.

Last edited 1 day ago by Farmer Meeple
Derreck Robinson
Derreck Robinson
1 day ago
Reply to  M. Park Hunter

I’m glad I wasn’t the only one bothered by this.

Bill Loney
Bill Loney
20 hours ago
Reply to  M. Park Hunter

Thinking this is just one version of this car. I have to think they will offer a proper roadster version of it too. Removable roof panels, etc. Then again, all car companies lie. How many Toyotas have the word “limited” on them? 3 million?

Vetatur Fumare
Member
Vetatur Fumare
18 hours ago
Reply to  Bill Loney

3 million is limited. It’s less than 5 million, for instance.

I am curious to how many of these could be sold, even if it did what they promised. 1,000 per year, tops? What would it cost?

Robyn Graves
Member
Robyn Graves
1 day ago

I’m not adding anything here, but this is just so goddamn stupid.

Oh, it’s going to use cold-air jets to get a crazy 0-60 time? Okay. I’m going to shoot a Gremlin out of a rail gun. Beat that time. It’s almost exactly as relevant.

Oh, it’s going to be able to maneuver vertically with more jets? No it’s not, even the vestigial federal government left over from Trump and Elon’s pillaging is going to hear “unlicensed low-altitude civilian aircraft” and clamp down on that immediately. Even if they didn’t, the first time someone tried to jump an Excursion to steal a parking spot and landed on a family of four, they’re getting banned outright.

Oh, it’s going to have a top speed of 350 miles an hour? Maybe if you use those jets to throw it off a high enough cliff. Unless Tesla is also planning on using this car to quietly reveal to the world that they’ve also managed to create a working arc reactor from the Iron Man films, then physics continues to stand stubbornly in the way. I could talk about material limits for air tanks or the limitations of an onboard compressor or the frame strength and weight needed to withstand repeated or sustained thrust of that level, but come on, this is fucking comic-book shit. ‘80s Batmobile specs.

This coming from anyone else, any other company, would be immediately dismissed as fantastic bullshit, but for some reason, because it’s Tesla and Musk, everyone has to act like there’s this air of plausibility around it, when in reality, the only thing Tesla has ever delivered is pretty-good to okay cars late, and really shitty trucks much, much later. Congratulations, you were able to turn a floundering car company into a carbon-credit scam that sometimes makes sedans.

Tesla doesn’t get the benefit of the doubt any more. This is just another version of the time they announced they were going to build 16 billion personal robot butlers and demonstrated that by having a guy in a robot costume do a TikTok dance. Fuck these guys, none more than Elon. This thing is never going to happen.

M. Park Hunter
Member
M. Park Hunter
1 day ago
Reply to  Robyn Graves

In fairness, if you shoot a Gremlin out of a rail gun I will absolutely buy a ticket for the launch.

Raymond
Raymond
1 day ago
Reply to  M. Park Hunter

What if you shot the Gremlin into water?

Salaryman
Member
Salaryman
19 hours ago
Reply to  Raymond

After midnight?

Space
Space
1 day ago
Reply to  Robyn Graves

What kind of Gremlin are we talking here? The car or the furry creatures?
I’d like to see either version.

Rod Millington
Member
Rod Millington
1 day ago
Reply to  Space

Yes.

Robert K
Robert K
1 day ago
Reply to  Robyn Graves

So the fact that they have a reusable super heavy booster that can launch, come back to earth with pinpoint precision and get caught by the tower is just a gimmick too? They get absolutely no credit for things like that? Even if this is released in a severely neutered state or is for track use only this is without a doubt the greatest concept car reveal of all time. Absolutely no one is going to be impressed with a concept car wrapped in pretty sheet metal just sitting static anymore.

Elon's Musk
Member
Elon's Musk
1 day ago
Reply to  Robert K

IMO these far fetched Elon stories do not belong on The Autopian until they are real cars. And until then, let’s talk about how vile he is.

*Jason*
*Jason*
21 hours ago
Reply to  Robert K

Space X is run by a very good president with decades of industry experience. What they have done is impressive. The biggest contribution Musk made is staying away and letting people that know what they are doing work.

As to boosters that land themselves- that was demonstrated years before Space X did it. They commercialized the technology they didn’t invent it.

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