Home » This Place Was Better Before You Got Here! COTD

This Place Was Better Before You Got Here! COTD

Lame Now Ts
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If you haven’t heard, we’re hiring! We’re looking for a cool deputy editor or managing editor to help the Autopian be the best site it can be. As a bonus, David would likely have a lot more free time and maybe we’ll see his Jeep Grand Cherokee transform from a cat incubator to a Moab master.

If you want in on this opportunity, read this post and give us your best! David and Jason have been doing the weird question thing for a while. One of my interview questions for Jalopnik involved a picture of a parking lot. David asked me to choose a car from the parking lot and explain why I’d want to drive it over the others. It was an excellent question because most of the cars were normal everyday cars. You couldn’t just point to a supercar and talk about how it’s your dream car. I chose a Prius, telling David that I’d put a lift kit and knobby tires on that thing and see how far I could take it into a forest.

Vidframe Min Top
Vidframe Min Bottom

Anyway, if you think you’re fit for us, give it a go! The worst we can say is no. On the other hand, JaredTheGeek says:

Before anyone new gets hired I would like to pre-emptively say that I liked the site before they got hired. They have really changed the tone of this site. I prefer the old Autopian.

If you have no idea why we’re laughing right now, it’s a reference to how readers of the old site, or really any site, sometimes react to staffing changes. I’m also reminded of this classic Simpsons reference:

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Here’s another amusing comment from EmotionalSupportBMW:

Hi, I’m writing with concerns. I noticed in your recent ad, there is not a listing for Chief BMW propagandist. Without a CBMWP, your community risks making good financial decisions. It would be a shame to see this community torn apart by the scourge of fiscal responsibility. Please consider making the advised change. Thank you, and happy motoring!

Have a great evening, everyone!

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Cayde-6
Cayde-6
10 months ago

Might I humbly suggest that this fair car site seek a sponsorship from either a divorce attorney or marriage counselor for a recurring column about extremely ill-advised project cars?

Wolfpack57
Wolfpack57
10 months ago

I’m told by the letters to the editor that to be a mainstream car mag, you need a Chief Porsche Propagandist to make sure they always win comparos and accept bribes. I’m also told that print magazines have a 60% yearly cancellation rate, so maybe stay digital.

DialMforMiata
DialMforMiata
10 months ago

I’d like to throw my hat into the ring here. My car history includes: 1980 Plymouth Volare, 1975 Mustang II, 1983 Chrysler New Yorker, 1985 Dodge 600 Convertible (with Mark Cross leather interior!) 1995 Dodge Stratus ES, and 2005 PT Cruiser Gt CONVERTIBLE. I would be absolutely invaluable if you wanted to start a “what NOT to buy” feature.

(although my present garage consists of an NA Miata and a Kia Soul, so I guess maybe I’ve lost my touch?)

Freelivin2713
Freelivin2713
10 months ago
Reply to  DialMforMiata

It’s ok, Kia Soul also counts as what not to buy, or really any Kia

Ben
Ben
10 months ago

While the comment is funny, one of the defining things about this site is that I never skip an article because of who wrote it. I definitely could not say that about the old site. I may not have time to read every single thing posted here, but my decisions on what to read are not influenced (negatively, anyway) by the author.

What I’m saying is: You’ve got a great group, don’t screw this up. 😛

Unclewolverine
Unclewolverine
10 months ago

Since I’m from north east kansas with an abnormal affinity for old jeeps, and projects I’ll never finish I’m basically just a slightly different flavor of DT. Too much jeep rust would spoil the autopian broth so I’m out.

Freelivin2713
Freelivin2713
10 months ago
Reply to  Unclewolverine

Actually, there’s no such thing as too much rust (at least reading about it, that is) We need more Jeep rust articles!

Phantom Pedal Syndrome
Phantom Pedal Syndrome
9 months ago
Reply to  Freelivin2713

Bitch

Freelivin2713
Freelivin2713
9 months ago

Talkin about yourself again? (…and your mom) Maybe talk about cars

RataTejas
RataTejas
10 months ago

I have a hybrid Honda and a 2001 M3. I have issues…

Morgan van Humbeck
Morgan van Humbeck
10 months ago
Reply to  RataTejas

I once sold a hybrid Honda for a Focus ST. If I could have kept both, I would.

Jerry Johnson
Jerry Johnson
10 months ago

Oh jeez. I have 0 actual writing experience but I would love to be the David Tracy of front wheel drive mopars for this site.

Morgan van Humbeck
Morgan van Humbeck
10 months ago
Reply to  Jerry Johnson

That actually sounds kind of amazing

PL71 Enthusiast
PL71 Enthusiast
10 months ago
Reply to  Jerry Johnson

I think you have some competition on that front. Doesn’t rootwyrm or someone like that always have a lot to say about FWD mopars?

Amberturnsignalsarebetter
Amberturnsignalsarebetter
10 months ago

rootwyrm has a lot to say on almost any topic imaginable. The breadth and depth of their knowledge is mind boggling.

Jerry Johnson
Jerry Johnson
10 months ago

Rootwyrm has forgotten more than I’ll ever learn about FWD mopars for sure. But I’m not sure what their current fleet looks like….where I have 6 neons, 2 K car wagons (one SRT swapped), 2 omnis, a 1gn minivan, and another minivan on the way.

PL71 Enthusiast
PL71 Enthusiast
10 months ago
Reply to  Jerry Johnson

haha that’s awesome

DubblewhopperInDubblejeopardy
DubblewhopperInDubblejeopardy
10 months ago

I would apply, but my post would be filled with marijuana induced hysterics and music playlists.

“Good morning Autopians, here is 21st Century Schizoid Man for the 3rd time in a row……

Doctor Nine
Doctor Nine
10 months ago

I can see only positive outcomes with such a righteous format. Please proceed.

Freelivin2713
Freelivin2713
10 months ago

Hell yeah, cars and music! Especially the band The Cars

Sir-Barks-A-lot
Sir-Barks-A-lot
10 months ago

Do you have a chief Mopar apologist yet? I can do that. New quality product is just around the corner. I swear.

If things are light I can write something on the Busch Gardens courtesy tram. Maybe Mercedes can turn an old one into a camper.

Maymar
Maymar
10 months ago

Ooh, I’m sorry, they’re specifically looking for Chief 90’s Mopar Apologist. Someone to really take over for the Holy Grail reins (I mean, I guess other than Mercedes’s excellent series), someone who’d publish a bunch of thinkpieces about how the original Dodge Stratus is an underappreciated classic, or how there’s never been a better minivan than the NS generation.

DialMforMiata
DialMforMiata
10 months ago
Reply to  Maymar

That would be me, I guess? I had a ’98 Stratus ES, which was a great car until everything started breaking and leaking.

Maymar
Maymar
10 months ago
Reply to  DialMforMiata

I had a ’95 Intrepid, learned to drive in a ’99 Grand Caravan, and severely wanted a Neon when they first came out. I don’t have the time to apply for the position, but I’m at least devoted to the cause.

My Goat Ate My Homework
My Goat Ate My Homework
10 months ago

Fine, I’ll take the job. My English is about a 3rd-ish grade level. But it’s not like I’m going to do any work anyway, I just read this website all day long… wait a minute.

Oh, and my only demand is that I require the title Supreme Overlord and get paid in nylon retainers. Can never have enough of those things.

Can’t afford me you say? Fine, I’ll just go back to helping my kids get their homework wrong and telling everyone on this site how they should feel about things.

Noting to see, move along.

Squirrelmaster
Squirrelmaster
10 months ago

Nice! I was going to say something similar, like:

“I’ll take the job. I’m an engineer by trade, so I already think I’m smarter than everyone around me, and I’ve been doing it so long that I can only write in engineer short-handed.

I’ll also add that by engineer standards I’m a gifted writer that other engineers ask assistance from when communicating with normal humans. Now, by normal human standards I’m functionally illiterate, but that’s only because normal humans haven’t yet learned to articulate at a higher level yet (Excel spreadsheets full of hard, emotionless data) – their problem, not mine.

I will accept payment in the form of used suspension and engine parts and invitations to social events with notes specifying they would prefer I didn’t attend (due to the aforementioned inability to communicate).”

The best part of being an engineer is getting to both voluntarily and involuntarily reinforce stereotypes about engineers…

My Goat Ate My Homework
My Goat Ate My Homework
10 months ago
Reply to  Squirrelmaster

You ready for this?

I’m a guy who slept through English class in high school (literally, not figuratively), got a degree in Civil Engineering where I excelled at “technical writing” because it was basically removing all the crap and writing things that are barely sentences and definitely NOT grammatically correct. Then I doubled down by going to law school where you learn to turn even the most functional piece of writing into the longest run-on sentence (punctuation be damned) using latin ad voluntatem and then lighting said pile of crap on fire as I shovel it out the door.

They would do well to completely ban me from even writing comments on this site. But I’ll do anything for nylon retainers. Those things always seem to break no matter how I try and remove them and then inevitably I find out that I don’t have the right replacement even though I have an entire bin full of them. Funny enough though I never lose my 10mm socket. We all have our curses.

Morgan van Humbeck
Morgan van Humbeck
10 months ago

We have found him! All hail the man (probably) with the ten mil socket

Squirrelmaster
Squirrelmaster
10 months ago

I have a friend who is a ChemE-turned-lawyer who said that the only thing that made his ability to write worse after going to school to be an engineer was going to school to become a lawyer. Sadly, said friend is not mechanically-inclined, so his preferred method of payment is just plain money.

I always lose 10mm sockets, even when I consciously put them away with intense deliberation. I found a socket in my yard the other day, presumably from one of the guys doing renovation work at my neighbor’s house, and got super excited because it looked just about right for a 10mm. Nope, 11mm, the one socket in my tool box that seems to be self-replicating.

Pupmeow
Pupmeow
10 months ago

No, My Goat! Fight back against the old school lawyerization of language. We can write simply!

JaredTheGeek
JaredTheGeek
10 months ago

My first COTD! Everyone here is great and offers interesting perspectives and takes and I looked forward to seeing what some additional staff bring to the site.

Jack Trade
Jack Trade
10 months ago
Reply to  JaredTheGeek

It’s the Porsche 911 of comments…well played indeed!

Stef Schrader
Stef Schrader
10 months ago
Reply to  Jack Trade

Never gets old. (Exactly like good parsh.)

Last edited 10 months ago by Stef Schrader
Freelivin2713
Freelivin2713
10 months ago

Awesome…this site really is the best!

What me?
What me?
10 months ago
Reply to  Freelivin2713

For now, just wait and see who they’ll hire to muck it up

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