Warm Mustard, Hot Cadillacs, And Time-Traveling Davids: COTD

Whenever I’m feeling down, I try to make myself laugh to bring a little cheer to my day. I generally like dark humor, but sometimes I click into the comments here at The Autopian. Why? Well, we have some funny folks among us, and they deliver smiles, even when you’re going through a Tuesday that feels like a second Monday.

Sid Bridge starts us off with a comment in David’s “I Want To Buy A 2000s German Sports Car” edition of Shitbox Showdown:

2020 David: Back for a visit again, future David?
2026 David: Yeah. I sold a couple more of my Jeeps and my fanciest BMW and now I can’t decide what to buy next.
2020 David: You what?
2026 David: I just need you to help me decide between a Mini Cooper S and an Audi TT.
2020 David: (Drops wrench from dirty hand. It lands in a pile of rust making a noticeable CLANK and sending bits of rust flying everywhere)
2026 David: I just feel like I should live a little and carve the streets of LA in something fun and somewhat economical in between taking care of the kid and attending black tie events.
2020 David: I ate spaghetti in the shower last night and got trench foot working an FC Jeep that was so rusted I had to use a prybar for a throttle.
2026 David: Mini Cooper it is, then.

Matt wrote a Morning Dump containing a story about how Xavier Peugeot, head of Jeep Europe, laid out future plans. Sid Bridge returns:

Xavier Peugeot? I wonder how he got that job…

Excuse me while I go change my name to “Lee Iaccoca, Jr.” and see if I can move up a few tax brackets.

Oh, we’re not done yet, because Sid Bridge the funnyman gets three COTD nominations in a row. The third one is for the junky Rolls-Royce that Jason found in Los Angeles:

Pardon me, do you have a 1/3-full bottle of Grey Poupon that hasn’t been in the fridge in a few days?

Peter wrote about the firefighters who fought a blaze for 18 hours at a Cadillac dealer. Canopysaurus:

Just think, if this fire had ignited at a JLR dealer, you could have had a Disco inferno.

Me:

The Jaguar side of the dealer: “Whew, glad we don’t have any cars to sell right now!”

Pinto Panopticon:

What are you talking about? They probably have more new 2025s and 2024s than a Lincoln dealer.

Leslie wrote about the legend of the Honda Fit. John Beef got really specific:

You know, if you’re bicycling and going to be T-boned by a red light runner going 50mph, I can’t recommend enough that the driver has a Honda Fit. Really, it’s just the best vehicle for that sort of thing. Despite hitting me on my right side, all my broken bones were on my left side. I think I just bounced off of it and then the ground did all the damage, though my brain immediately blocked all memories of those moments so I can’t confirm. So yes! Very little damage from the car itself. Highly recommended, A+.

Have a great day, everyone!

Top graphic image: Mini