So we’ve reached the end of a whole week of weird custom cars, which started as a reader request and spiraled out of control from there. Next week we’ll get back to more normal cars, I promise, but first we have to crown a winner from this lot. And I do have a specific scenario to help you choose.
I really had no idea how yesterday was going to go. Would the Corvette’s hot-rodding pedigree make up for its high price? Would the Morris-Prius mashup prove just too damn weird? As it turns out, the vote was pretty close. The Corvette won by a nose – ironic, since that’s the part of it that’s missing – but a surprising number of you stood up for that widebody hybrid Minor.
For me, it’s the Corvette, without hesitation. The only part I really like about the Minor is the tiki stuff. A stock Morris Minor Traveller, or one with a less severe engine swap, would be a different story, but that concoction is just too much for me.
Now then: Acme Corporation, famed maker of anvils, rocket jetpacks, and foldable tunnels, is branching out into model car kits. You have just been hired as director of marketing for the new division, and it’s up to you to choose the third car produced as a model kit. (The first two are, of course, a Plymouth Roadrunner and a Ford Mustang powered by a Coyote V8.) Your team has narrowed it down to these four possibilities, and it’s up to you to make the final decision. The only catch is that whichever one you pick, you have to drive the real car to the launch party for the model. Let’s take a second look at your choices so you can make an informed decision.
1979 Chevrolet G10 Van
At one time, custom vans were pretty well represented in the model car world. But as their popularity waned in real life, the model vans started to fade away as well. Probably the most popular custom van model these days is radio-controlled: the Tamiya Lunch Box. But since it’s an RC model, it doesn’t have an interior, and that’s where the opportunity to really add some detail to a model comes in.
A skilled modeler could really have some fun with this kit, I feel. Add blue flocking for the carpet, install a couple of little LEDs in the ceiling to show it off, and make sure that side door is openable. At 1/25 scale, it might be a little hard to see everything, but maybe if it were 1/12 or 1/16?
2015 Polaris RZR with VW Beetle body
This one I almost feel might be better as an RC model than as a static display kit. I mean, nobody wants the hassle of dealing with the real thing, but you’d chase your dog around the back yard with an RC version of this, wouldn’t you? Sell it as a kit, though; ready-to-run RC models are lame. You gotta build it to earn it.
You could sell a whole line of action figures to sit in the driver’s seat, too. Maybe even with interchangeable body panels in matching colors. That’s where the real money is anyway: the accessories. Collect ’em all!
Slammed 1993 Ford Ranger
As popular as the old Ford Ranger pickups were, they are underrepresented in the model car world. AMT made a couple of versions back in the 1990s, but they’re long out of production and hard to find. This could sell well just due to the scarcity of those old AMT kits.
I feel like this is crying out for the “2-in-1” treatment. Include parts in the kit to build either a stock Ranger, or this slammed, big-wheeled version – molded in metallic blue, of course. You’d have to have someone design a decal sheet with some stripes for it, though – no model truck ever looked this plain on the box lid.
1973 Harry Bradley Corvette
I’m actually surprised there isn’t already a model kit of this one. C3 Corvettes are incredibly common model car subjects, and it’s not hard to find customized ones; I have a couple in my own collection. But the closest thing I can find to this car is the MPC “Vette Van” kit. It’s a little past its prime; this would have been a big hit as a model kit in the 1980s, but most fans of this style of car need powerful reading glasses to build models these days.
Rumor has it that the hardest model car kit to build correctly is the 1/25 scale model of Ed Roth’s “Mysterion” show rod. I own that kit, and it does look like a doozy. I think, if you did this one right, it could rival that kit for complexity. Make the doors and the rear hatch open, and include two front clips: one with the original six-headlight bar, and one stock C3. The T-tops would be removable too, of course.
Any one of these you like could come to life as a pile of plastic trees inside a brightly-colored cardboard box, but you have to be willing to drive the original to the big party. The fate of the Acme Corporation’s model kit endeavors rests in your hands. Which one gets the model kit treatment?
I own a 1980 Chevy shorty van in a glorious gold color. Found one of my old Hot Wheels that was similar and painted it to match. So I definitely voted Van.
“The first two are, of course, a Plymouth Roadrunner and a Ford Mustang powered by a Coyote V8.”
The latter one was chosen just for the engine even though most people wouldn’t ever see the engine or even know about it so what about a car actually called…Coyote? To be sure, it was a fictional car custom-made for a relatively obscure TV show in the early 1980s but it would fit the bill (especially since there might actually have been a model kit for that car in fact):
https://imcdb.org/vehicle_8433-Made-for-Movie-Coyote.html
That Stephen J. Cannell-produced show, Hardcastle and McCormick, has a lil’ bit of a cult following; it ran from 1983 to 1986 and was about a hard-nosed judge named Hardcastle (yeah, the name’s a little…on the nose) who partners with an ex-con and reformed car thief named McCormick (also nicknamed…Skid) to catch criminals who had gotten off on technicalities and thereby eluded justice. (Yeah, the premise might be seen as kinda problematic, lol.)
The Coyote kept changing over the seasons partly because the actor playing Hardcastle had difficulty getting in and out of the first one which was based on a McLaren M6GT and built on a VW Beetle chassis with a Porsche engine; for ease of access they used a modified DeLorean as the basis for one of the later seasons’ Coyotes. Many of the body parts came from Manta Montage kit cars. Real hodgepodges, those Coyotes, lol.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hardcastle_and_McCormick
The Ranger. Minitrucks are back in vogue. It’s the 90s all over again!
Should be none of the above but the Corvette at least has some cache.
The bug and morris would be interesting hot wheels or RC cars maybe the vette. There might be a version of the bug and the vette but not the morris for sure that’s a one off.
For a RC car, I think the Razor Bug would be best. Aaaaand I see almost everybody disagrees with me.
LOL
In a week of weird, someone else’s taste, custom vehicles, price is king.
So Danger Ranger is my pick
All of ‘em. My childhood modelling matched the technique of these builders. I was a slipshod plastic model builder out of the box. They’d be crumbling by the time the 4-H fair was over.
Then my brother and I would fling them across the floor and crash them. The broken remains went into a box. We even saved the sprues. Next time we got the box out, we’d glue the scraps back together in crazy combinations to make new battle buggies. Crash and repeat. The Beetle/RXR and the Corvagon are very much like what we cooked up.
If I have to pick just one: Van. Be sure to offer action figures: hippie Ken & Barbie, Scooby and the gang, or Chris Farley motivational speaker.
And the prototype already runs & drives. Wrap it and roll. After the show, scrub yourself with disinfectant.
For me it is the Bug. Because as a Kid, I sort of had all of these. Based on my memories, I would rate them as:
4. Low Ranger. My mom made these all the time. I would be playing with matchbox cars and scatter them all over the floor. Mom would appear to tell me to clean up my mess and step on one. That would squish the tires down to the floor so it didn’t roll anymore and get me screamed at. So, not a fun toy, not a fun time. Last place.
3. Boogey Van. I Built a Mystery Machine model once. As per usual, I screwed it up and the decals didn’t stick. Better memories than the Stomped on Ranger, but still not super fun, although I did learn some new vocabulary and the exact taste of Ivory Soap.
2. Shooting Brake Vette. I had a matchbox car that was similar. The windshield was damaged and a firecracker fit right in. I had great fun with it. Only thing that keeps it from first place is that I couldn’t find it after I managed to shove 3 firecrackers in it at once.
That being said…I do go back to the Boogey Van as an option if I think about profitability. I know more and more toys are being bought by adults instead of kids. If I think of a toy designed for adults, there are possibilities far too gross to really think about that could make a toy van with shag carpeting everywhere a big seller.