Home » Yeah, That’s My Box. Pretty Cool, Right? It’s Okay, You Can Look At It: Cold Start

Yeah, That’s My Box. Pretty Cool, Right? It’s Okay, You Can Look At It: Cold Start

Cs Fso Box
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Oh, hey. I didn’t see you there. I see you’ve notice my boxes here. Yeah, it’s okay, I get it, don’t be shy. Come on a bit closer, if you want. It’s okay, I totally understand – this is the sort of box that gets some attention. I wouldn’t have them out here in public if I was afraid of a people coming up, after all! I know what boxes like these can do to people. Trust me, you’re not the first! So, don’t be shy, come on over!

That’s real Dutch corrugated cardboard there, triple-ply, with the middle corrugation pattern perpendicular to the outer two. It what we in the box world call the “sandwich of strength,” and yeah, it’s the best. No question. Did you ask if it could stop a bullet? No? I coulda sworn you said that. Well, technically, I’m not really allowed to say it could, but, between you and me, if the bullets are flyin’, one of these babies is going on my head.

Vidframe Min Top
Vidframe Min Bottom

I can see you want to touch the handles. It’s okay, it’s okay, it’s natural to want to slide your fingers into that incredible rounded-rectangle hole there. I mean, look at it: a perfect perforation in the unyielding brown plane, practically begging for your touch. I know the feeling. I’m just sorry I have to say no, and it’s not personal – you just aren’t worthy.

Hey, hey, calm down, I know that sounds bad, but all I mean is that these boxes are, you know, too good for you, you know what I mean? No offense. Anyway, there’s so much to appreciate here even from a couple feet away – which reminds me, would you mind taking a step back?

Rednsudivider

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Okay, okay, that’s enough for your morning character study/fiction part of the day. For enduring that, please enjoy this video that also features an FSO Fiat, like the cars above, but showing their incredible wiper/washer system:

Man, that’s fantastic.

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MadAnthony
MadAnthony
1 year ago

I know you guys like to make dirty jokes about boxes, but as the owner of an e-commerce company, by which I mean I sell junk on eBay, I really do appreciate a nice box.

Stef Schrader
Stef Schrader
1 year ago

…who did you chop up and put in the box?

Look, a Volvo!
Look, a Volvo!
1 year ago

The ultimate way to prove how broken my humor is:

Chronometric
Chronometric
1 year ago

As the fortunes of the Denver Broncos continued to slide, John Elway found himself peddling moving boxes from the back of Polish station wagon.

David Smith
David Smith
1 year ago
Reply to  Chronometric

Neigh!

What me?
What me?
1 year ago

I saw the picture and just knew it was Dutch. Language on those beautiful boxes confirmed it (I actually live 1 km from a Dutch cardboard factory)

Paint-Drinking Thundercock Harvey Park
Paint-Drinking Thundercock Harvey Park
1 year ago
Reply to  What me?

Do they make the 3-ply kind?

SuperNova
SuperNova
1 year ago

Carrot in the box?

Martin English
Martin English
1 year ago
Reply to  SuperNova

RIP S. Locke

Canopysaurus
Canopysaurus
1 year ago

Looks like a dating service for boxes, so a boxing match.

Cheap Bastard
Cheap Bastard
1 year ago

“Okay, okay, that’s enough for your morning character study/fiction part of the day.”

Eh, that wasn’t nearly as insufferable as real life “turns heads” attention seekers.

Phantom Pedal Syndrome
Phantom Pedal Syndrome
1 year ago
Reply to  Cheap Bastard

Hurray! Somebody is paying attention. This is about me right? (winking emoji)

Phantom Pedal Syndrome
Phantom Pedal Syndrome
1 year ago

WHATS IN THE BOX!

Chris with bad opinions
Chris with bad opinions
1 year ago

Richard

Mr E
Mr E
1 year ago

Don’t be a dick.

Myk El
Myk El
1 year ago

Pain

William Domer
William Domer
1 year ago

Schrödinger’s cat

Phantom Pedal Syndrome
Phantom Pedal Syndrome
1 year ago
Reply to  William Domer

I’m sorry. The correct answer is Gwyneth Paltrow’s head.

Freelivin2713
Freelivin2713
1 year ago

“NOTHING! Absolute nothing! STUPID! You’re so stupid!”
I LOVE UHF!!!
ALSO: “MY MOOOOOOOP!!!”

Phantom Pedal Syndrome
Phantom Pedal Syndrome
9 months ago
Reply to  Freelivin2713

Bitch

Freelivin2713
Freelivin2713
9 months ago

Look who’s talking…maybe talk about cars for once

Soso Tsundere
Soso Tsundere
1 year ago

That is the pose of a man ready to introduce you to an exciting chance to get in on the ground floor of a new network of independent box sellers. You just need to by a starter sales pack from him (you can even use the boxes yourself, at such a savings!) and then sell starter sales packs to 20 of your friends and family!! Sell 25,000 boxes and you too can get a 45 year old station wagon!

Freelivin2713
Freelivin2713
1 year ago
Reply to  Soso Tsundere

This is the answer…

Dennis Ames
Dennis Ames
1 year ago

Reading this headline reminds me of the Carlin “7 Dirty words” bit “we gonna snatch that pussy, stuff it in a box and take it on an airplane”

Jb996
Jb996
1 year ago

I appreciate Jason’s fever-dream fiction.
But I’m not as good as some and had no idea what that car was from the picture. Maybe in the future at least say a LITTLE BIT about the car?

Also, what is the red off-center taillight below the bumper? And what is the on-center white one for? For someone who frequents the 3rd best tailight bar in the west (or something like that), I would have expected some coments on the lighting from you.

Jakob K's Garage
Jakob K's Garage
1 year ago
Reply to  Jb996

Backup light and fog light, both afterthoughs to the original old Fiat 125 design from the sixties, as this is probably a polish FSO 125p from sometime in the early nineties, judging from the plastic hubcaps and the guy’s clothes – and “classic” was usually put on eastern block cars to signify that they had been on the market for a LONG time…

Last edited 1 year ago by Jakob K's Garage
Jb996
Jb996
1 year ago

Less insanity, but infinitely more information than Jason’s entire post. Thanks!

EDIT: And I just noticed this quick bit, “an FSO Fiat, like the cars above,” where Jason accidently let it slip that there were cars in the picture, and what they were.

Last edited 1 year ago by Jb996
Drew
Drew
1 year ago

Look at the guy’s hand. This looks like he wasn’t even at the car, looking at the boxes.

I could be wrong, but it just doesn’t look like he’s actually leaning on this car, and if he were, he’d slide right off.

Chris D
Chris D
1 year ago

What is the purpose of this article? I was hoping for something interesting about a neat old wagon.

Duke of Kent
Duke of Kent
1 year ago
Reply to  Chris D

We all just kind of let Jason do whatever he wants for the first article of the day. Often it’s an old ad where he’ll make up a story about what’s going on in the image; sometimes he shares pictures of literal garbage in the corner of a parking garage.

It’s best to allow Jason to be Jason. Otherwise, all the weird gets bottled up, and his head might explode.

David Smith
David Smith
1 year ago
Reply to  Duke of Kent

Actually I would enjoy a bottled up explosion of Jason weird brain article.

Paint-Drinking Thundercock Harvey Park
Paint-Drinking Thundercock Harvey Park
1 year ago
Reply to  Chris D

Since when do JT articles need a purpose?

Dead Elvis, Inc.
Dead Elvis, Inc.
1 year ago
Reply to  Chris D

Did you arrive here by accident? Perhaps from another planet?

Jakob K's Garage
Jakob K's Garage
1 year ago

The highly interesting boxes are clearly there to try and bring your attention away from the embarrassing fact that they used the sedan doors on the station wagon, just like on Volvo 145/245 and Citroën BX/XM. But it’s not really working…

William Domer
William Domer
1 year ago

 Citroën BX/XM, another French fantasy, that I want. Love that the initials translate to something that seems kinky.

Jakob K's Garage
Jakob K's Garage
1 year ago
Reply to  William Domer

Two quite different but great cars.. Both with hack job estate versions:

Citroén BX

Citroén XM

-but they did manage to finally take the station wagon genre seriously and come up with the absolutely beautiful xantia break

Last edited 1 year ago by Jakob K's Garage
Larry B
Larry B
1 year ago

Well yeah, those boxes are pretty damn cool. But this is a car site, and if I’m not mistaken, that white automobile is a Classic car.

Doctor Nine
Doctor Nine
1 year ago

Torch, I feel like I just read a transcription of some sketchy audio porn. Ummm…

Ahem!

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