I did not intend to become an Internet businessman, but while other writers were doing the five-knuckle shuffle to pics of McLarens I studied the blade. And, by “the blade” I mean programmatic advertising. I sort of understand it now. Maybe. One thing I know is that the peak of rates for display ads every year is usually right around the last two weeks of November. Ergo, if I could have the highest traffic any day I’d probably pick November 19th. Other than a nationwide internet blackout or a Walton Goggins-heavy new season of Justified, I can’t imagine what could get people from reading posts on this website on November 19th.
Oh, wait, I just thought of a thing.
Those unrepentant assholes at Rockstar Games, after spending a few trillions dollars and what feels like 40 years making a sequel to Grand Theft Auto V, are going to release their little game on that exact day. How am I supposed to run a website? How am I supposed to feed my children?
Look at the extended preview for Grand Theft Auto VI posted yesterday (link here, note it’s very violent):
This is just a little gameplay preview and it’s about as long as an episode of Frasier. It’s been up for less than a day and it’s already clocked more than 8.9 million views. It’s not even that exciting at first. It’s just two people walking around a dope house getting shot at.
They don’t even drive a car until like 12 minutes in!
We are so boned.
Here’s what Ashley Wong from The Wall Street Journal wrote on LinkedIn:
The last GTA game came out in 2013, so the demand is now sky-high. When I first heard that people were requesting time off from work to play GTA6, I figured it would just be a handful of die-hard fans. Instead, I found scores of people who already have a few days to a few weeks of vacation time blocked off.
Many of the fans I spoke to fell in love with the franchise as teenagers. It’s been so long since GTA5 came out that now they’re fully grown adults with disposable income and the freedom to set their own schedules. One gamer I spoke with is taking off 10 days from work. Others are meal-prepping and waking up at 1 a.m. to start the game, all to maximize gameplay and minimize distractions. Even the U.S. Army is taking advantage of the hype to motivate soldiers.
The US Army is letting soldiers have time off if they’re willing to re-enlist. It’s basically The Entertainment from Infinite Jest, except real and not a metaphor. And it also probably takes longer to finish.
Just look at the cars! They play at least one Phil Collins song! They pull at least one Die Hard! They go full Nakitomi Plaza!
That’s basically a Blackwing, right? That’s so cool.
The last large, world-building game I finished (and may ever finish) was GTA V, which came out before my daughter was born. I started it, got busy, and put it aside. As soon as I knew a kiddo was on the way I quickly began to grind through it to the finish. It’s taken so long for a new one to come out my kid can vote.
Well, she can vote in the Nickelodeon Kids’ Choice Awards. It’s been a while.
Now I’m starting to realize that we might not even have everyone here to write it, let alone read it. Maybe Griffin? He’s young, no kids, so if he calls in sick I will not believe him. Mercedes? Married, but young. Thomas. Absolutely no way Thomas shows.
David has a young kid, he’s not playing that game in front of Delmar. Jason is maybe the wild card, as I wouldn’t be surprised if he somehow managed to get it running on one of his Apple IIs.
Maybe I’ll just put up pages from my novel that week.
Look forward to Booktopian, everyone…
Top photo: Rockstar Games
I’ll be playing, but I’ll also likely be reading, because I am not taking time off of work to play.
1) Don’t expect me to ready any online blogs for at least a week.
2) The first car I jack will be the K-car Chrysler Lebaron wagon.
Apparently there is also a Dodge Stratus and early 90’s Buick Skylark. Have to say that grabs my attention more than another version of a Lambo.
I will read. I grew old enough to not play games anymore.
Not because I don’t want to, but because I don’t have time to do so.
I’m 54. I have plenty of time to play games.
I’m 55. The last racing game I played was Mario Kart on the Wii.
Actually, that’s probably the only racing game I’ve ever played.
By the time I’m 54 (a decade and something away), kids will be adults, I should have completed my housekeeping tasks, and probably less worries than now.
Then probably there will be some hype about GTA 7 launch, and I will have the time and means to play it.
Most likely.
I realized the other day that I haven’t touched my consoles in 2026. Played some on my laptop, but not much.
We are in the same boat.
Write the wildest stuff for a few days. I’ll be here for it, despite being a gamer. I don’t think I will play it for some time.
You can save alot of money by waiting a few years after a AAA games has come out.
Yeah, that is what I do for most of them; I think Baldur’s Gate 3 is the last one I was eager enough to pre-order and play within the first couple weeks. I feel like I could have even waited there.
Yea, you can write off that whole week for me. Will be super fun to play.
I’ll be here, I don’t even have a game console / gaming PC
There’s ZERO chance I will spend even one second on GTA6.
Instead, I will spend my internet surfing time right here.
Unless there is a customized purple Sterling 825 in GTA6 with a Mustang Ranch interior.
I’ll be here.
I’ll be here. Reading is my relaxation. Clocked over 23k pages of pleasure reading in 2025 per my Storygraph, and that doesn’t include any of what I read online.
I only game on a PC I snuck in a build just before things went crazy and I have a largely office job with unrestricted access to the internet so there’s literally no waking time where I couldn’t theoretically be reading The Autopian.
My son and most of his friends are 22 and it’s been pre ordered since day one for the whole group of them.They all work full time or are in the military so what they do to rot their brains on their time and money is their business.At least they aren’t doing drugs or gambling their money away.I’ve seen much worse.My personal preference is Gran Turismo or Burnout but I rarely play anymore.Too many buttons and my reflexes aren’t as fast as they used to be and I live in the sticks so unfortunately our internet is dreadfully slow.
I don’t have a current generation console, and while my PC (built just before prices went nuts) should be able to handle it, historically Rockstar holds back the computer port about a year. So I’ll be here. Looking forward to that novel!
Car guy, not a gamer
100%
Why not both?
Both, but innie, not outtie xD
I’m not telling.
I am not a gamer, I am “operator” of “simulations”, such as BeamNG.
Because adult not child.
I’m pretty sure I’m a grown adult.
I have a wife and two kids. They don’t like me having free time lol.
We’ve all got our crosses to bear.
ok…
Not to worry, there will be folks here, myself included.
The only “games” I have at the moment are 3 old EM pinball machines that need fixing. Though if I had the space, an old school arcade game like Tempest or Space Invaders would be cool.
I have a broken in some unknown way Space Invaders in my basement ????
Also a sort of working old pinball machine (some type of bowling theme).
I only PC game nowadays (might get a switch 2 at some point) so I’ll still be here reading as no idea when it will come to PC.
Yeah. Owner of two teenage boys here. That game ain’t coming to our house anytime soon.
Oh, sure, I played it decades ago, but Do As I Say, Not As I Did.
Looking back with a parents perspective there are many games and shows they should have never let me have as a kid. My parents didn’t really understand games or the internet though. a mistake I will not make.
I’ll be here. In my youth I did play a lot of GTA (3 and vice city mostly). But like you, I have a youngster now so this game will never happen. I remember scrambling to finish Art of Rally before my child was born as I knew I would not be able to finish it. Many years later and yea, have not. Also I got quite burned out of GTA with San Andreas, 4 and 5 when my friend would play it, just too much of the same things, my time is worth more than that. Especially now.
I 100%’ed both III and Vice City, then I 100%’ed San Andreas, and honestly that game was so damn big. I enjoyed it overall but sometimes it just felt like work. Then I 100%’ed Liberty City Stories and by the time I got to Vice City Stories I was just burned out like you say. My wife never minded much as she was a bit of a gamer too, but I have a daughter now and bigger work commitments so spare time isn’t what it was.
I have GTAIV but never played it, I also have GTAV but hilariously I don’t even have the system to play it on, that’s how much Rockstar had made me their bitch.
GTA what?
I’ll be here. At least when I need a break from Forza.
I’ve never been all that interested in GTA. I’ll be here!
I for one welcome our new Booktopian overlords!
That said, not everyone will be in GTA6-land. Wrtie something intereting (as you do) and I’ll read it.
we live in the dumbest possible timeline.
I won’t be playing it. Large open world games just take too long to keep my attention. The last one I beat was BOTW.
The last time I took time off for a game launch was back in 2022 when Ron Gilberts team released Return to Monkey Island. A game some of us had been waiting for for decades but never thought we would get.
Surely they could throw you a bone and put up an Autopian billboard somewhere in the game.
Oh fuddleduddle. I’ll be here. I don’t have any interest in playing that game.
While I did take 2 days off for the last Gran Turismo release, I also was at the tail end of working something like 20 days straight so it wasn’t the primary reason, just specified the day is started. Boy was I disappointed when their servers were overloaded and you couldn’t even launch the game until you downloaded the update that took 12 hours on a 1Gbps connection.
Never got into the GTA games, but I do find this release fascinating as it seems to show off what’s possible with even 8 year old hardware design wise when you optimize the shit out of it. I’ll probably buy it for PC when it reaches $30, but am not that interested in playing it. I expect that to be a dark week for reading random interesting crap at work in those 10 minute breaks where you don’t want to focus on work.