If I’ve learned anything from three years of writing about planes, trains, and automobiles, is that readers love stories of sorrow, triumph, and catastrophic failures. Readers seem to love very bad purchases, stories about fixing those very bad purchases, and watching those bad purchases break again. I suppose it’s also a bonus when the writer is the somehow really photogenic Stephen Walter Gossin.
I say this because this morning, our Notorious SWG was our guest host for Shitbox Showdown. In today’s episode, the British invaded with a 1969 Rolls-Royce Shadow for $2,500 or a 1984 Jaguar XJ6 for $2,000. Turns out, a lot of you cared more about seeing more Gossin working on British junk than the piles presented in today’s Showdown!
Apparently, Gossin’s wanted to write about a Jaguar XK8 for over three years now, but the story of that car still hasn’t graced the pages of our site yet.
Turns out, SWG has a bit of a fan club, starting with Michael Fortenbery:
David.
For the record, I would love to read SWG writing about his XK8 (or really anything, for that matter!)
Michael Fortenbery got support from MaximillianMeen, Nycbjr, Geoff Dankert, and OrigamiSensei! Since we’re talking about this, I want to highlight a couple of more heartwarming comments. From Jack Trade on SWG’s GMC Envoy rescue:
Wonderful work as always. Your negotiation strategy is spot on. As someone who’s negotiated other stuff, I can confirm getting your counterpart to establish a baseline for their happiness and then offering to double it immediately can be really hard to pass up.
What makes me happiest though is the positive life lesson you helped impart. No, not that useful things should be fixed, not junked (we already knew that), but that production and consumption are connected. That guy will always remember that first job and that first car, and for the rest of his life (hell, every time he fills up now to get to work), he’ll associate having good stuff with working.
Aristotle says in effect that we are what we habitually do, and getting in this kinda habit at a young age bodes well for his future. Gossin’s motors apparently promotes more than mechanical well-being!
Tap-n-Die And Some WD-40, who commented on SWG’s junkyard adventures:
Great series SWG. Looking forward to more!
Somehow this article brought up an old memory. On a trip to the junkyard with my brother, we stumbled across a 90s Pontiac Bonneville. We had a similar Bonnie as our family car growing up, and it became each of our first cars when we learned to drive (mine first; his second, after I bought a Geo Prizm to learn how to drive stick).
Even though it wasn’t the same car, we still sat quietly in the junked Bonneville and had A Moment where we opened and shut the doors, clicked some of the buttons, moved the wiper stalk, etc. All those childhood and teen memories came right back.
Junkyards are hallowed ground.
This just reinforces the fact that the Autopian community is one of the greatest you’ll find. We really do read all of your comments. I can’t speak for my other colleagues, but SWG and I both thank you for your awesome and kind words. Sometimes, a good comment can turn a garbage day into a better one. Thank you so very much. Have a great evening!
I suppose this means I need to buy Steve’s Bonneville. Ours was even green, just like his!
I also enjoy SWJ’s articles, but since I have the opportunity, I’d just like to say that his propensity for taking selfies with whatever the subject of the article is a little annoying. Like, OK, I know what you look like, and I believe you’re taking these pictures based on what you’re writing about them. But whatever, I guess everyone has an article style.
A lot of these rescue stories take months to come to completion and require many weekends and late nights of wrenching (and writing).
You have to remember to photo document every repair you’re writing about, otherwise the piece becomes just a wall of text.
Many times, when wrenching after 9-10hrs at the other job, you forget to photo document what you were doing (due to exhaustion) and only have the goofy photo you sent to your mom or GF or buddies with you in it that also shows the repair.
You work with what you have; it’s not self aggrandization. I believe that 20 pictures of just cars and nuts and bolts can be broken up with 1-2 action shots that include the author without becoming a shrine to vanity.
Apologies for the annoyance; thanks for reading.
Ah, understood. Keep up the good work and don’t worry about what AOTIs (A$$holes On The Internet) like me say.
Well, John Beef, at least you’re being honest about yourself. (⩺︷⩹)
At this point the Jag articile should be kept under wraps for now, but only to release it as a nice surprise for us in the future. Maybe as a Christmas gift? It would be hilarious for it to suddenly arrive out of nowhere for us to all go “holy shit it’s the SWG Jag article!”. Released like it was a Radiohead album.
Also, I would enjoy reading it.
Thanks Mercedes! Bucket list item accomplished by being mentioned in COTD!
There is never enough Jag content, and I think we need a conclusive study if the high running costs (perhaps less so with SWG’s elbow grease) are offset by what you save on conning people into paying for your meals.
Come on DT, just let the man write about his jag.
Oh, man, a calendar would be hilarious/awesome. Jason with a Changli Chainsaw Massacre picture for Halloween/October, DT with a rescue cat next to the factory ZJ spare tire carrier, goth uncle Adrian on the hood on his Mondial, the ever handsome SWG with one of his resurrected rides, Mercedes rocking one of her bikes, Beau draped over a minicar, the Bishop on a canvas illustrating one of his creations – yeah, the possibilities are endless.
This could be a great idea! And it just might generate legit more than a few dozen dollars (for real).
I wonder if Google or Apple would let a digital skin be put on top of their calendar apps…hmmm…
I love it! You could create offshoots as well! Mercedes in RVs! 12 months of the Bishop drawings! 2024: Kitties in Jeeps! TAKE MY MONEY!
Seems like too many junkyards are going to Do Not Enter order your part and they retrieve it. No more fun just looking around and making a dumb decision.
I hope he was being ironic in that Zoolanderesque photo 🙂
“Did you ever think there’s more to life than being really, really, really ridiculously good-looking?”
No he just figured out where Kramer got his haircut.
So, are we getting the Jaaaaaag story or not?
SWG is the resident eyecandy/ladyboner of Autopian and I think he deserves to have his own “pinup” Autopian calendar, 12 months of SWG’s glorious face and irresistible smile, a smile like that of a Cheshire cat! . Meow! baby!!! (‾◡◝ )و
They would fly off the shelf! think about all the money you’d rake in! ＼( ^o^ )／
The question is, would it outsell the ‘Shower meals with David Tracy’ calendar?
I’m just saying – this community is awesome but also very, very, weird.
Well, yes, I am weird and that is why I fit in here so well with this group. The diversity here on the Autopian is unmatched compared to the other automotive themed websites. I feel that here is no judgement here. We appreciate each others differences. ( I know I do)
Now, I propose that DT be allotted one month on the Autopian wall calendar. Perhaps a pic of him cradling a rust colored kitten whilst in the shower eating from a can of SpaghettiOs. (͡• ͜໒ ͡• )
Fun fact, about a quarter (probably more, I haven’t checked the numbers lately) of our readership is women! That’s sort incredible for sites like these as you know, cars and such would traditionally be a more masculine hobby…
Indeed it is incredible and it is a testament to the creative minds that create the content here! ( your self included!) ( ๑ ❛ ڡ ❛ ๑ )❤
That’s excellent!
SWG is cute, but I think a calendar with all the writers would do well. Variety is the spice of life and all that. Besides, who doesn’t want to see Torch doing his best Leatherface with a chainsaw for October?
Believe it or not I suggested an Autopian staff calendar as a merch idea months ago.
This idea needs to grow legs. Preferably sexy ones. Maybe in fishnets or something.
Uncle Adrian in fishnets? You won’t be able to print the calendars fast enough!
I do have exceptionally good legs.
I agree 100%.ヽ(͡◕ ͜ʖ ͡◕)ﾉ
When this comes out, I’ll be among the first in line. Suggested tableaux:
>>Black-and-white (bien sur) pic of Adrian getting out of the Mondial by a wall of Love And Rockets posters somewhere in London;
>>Weekend Rob covering his eyes while aiming a water pistol at a Land Rover Discovery;
>>Mercy in front of the Buell — with a row of Smarts arrayed behind her as she prepares to jump them Evel Knievel-style;
>>Beau unfolding himself as he emerges from one of his microcars;
>>Mark Tucker next to one of those old “OK Used Cars” signs Chevy used to have on its dealerships;
>>Torch with a Beetle in “Truly Nolen” exterminator livery (iykyk);
>>David parallel-parking the i3 between the Golden Eagle pickup and the Holy Grail ZJ (in its current state);
>>Hardigree in chauffeur’s livery standing by the open rear door of the coach-door Lincoln;
>>SWG in hazmat suit leaning against the open driver’s door of the Park Ave;
>>Laurence standing, arms akimbo, in the rear tray of Project Cactus — Australian flag flying proudly in the background;
>>Peter scratching his head next to Jason’s Island Of Misfit Computers; and
>>The entire staff dancing by the open rear hatch of Project Ski-Klasse as the disco ball creates a MOOD.
(This sort of took on a life of its own — I blame the third cup of coffee)
I love everything about this idea! 🙂
I’m here for me in Helmut Newton style photo.
I’m Jaging off to this right now.
Dude?
Sorry. Forgot where I was for a moment. Carry on.
So in other words you’re polishing your leaper. 😉
What am I? Chopped liver?
Ha! Of course not!
Kindly submit an 8X10 glossy portrait of yourself to the editor for consideration in the publishing of the Autopian calendar. ⊂◉‿◉つ
Whoever makes a SWG calendar is set to become an overnight hundredaire (say it like Strong Bad).
Ha! (͡o‿O͡)
Your emoji game is utterly insane. Where do you find all these??
Each of my emoji’s are handcrafted by me!
(That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! ) ◑.◑
This thread was a DELIGHT, start to finish. And your emojis are fiyaaahhh.
Thanks♪(･ω･)ﾉ