Home » LA Stories: Cold Start

LA Stories: Cold Start

Cs La Rolls
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How do you like your disclosures? Full? Too bad, that’s what you’re getting. It’s 4:35 am here, and I currently have a headache because I foolishly drank too much sake after our Big Day of Business and Planning. The future is looking exciting, though, but the very near future – the one where I should have written a Cold Start before falling asleep – that one I didn’t quite pull off. But I awoke, and am doing it now, so there. Let’s take a look at a very Los Angeles scene here.

Where else are you going to see a Rolls-Royce Wraith parked next to a Honda Fit and a Smart in a grocery store parking lot, just at random? I mean, a few other places maybe, but not many at all. It’s a very LA scene.

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This one still had paper dealer plates on it, so it must be a recent purchase, probably because the owner just recently put away the winter beater 2002 Altima they’d been driving, and needed something new. I bet Rolls-Royce of Beverly Hills had a 30-days-same-as-cash deal, too.

These Wraiths are massive two doors, and yeah those are huge reverse-opening doors, too, which I wonder if is harder or easier to deal with in a tight parking spot? I also think these things could use a rear wiper for that vast expanse of nearly-horizontal rear glass. Stop being so cheap, Rolls.

One thing I do like about these is this:

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Cs La Rolls DashswitchThe switch for the lights mimics the old, traditional and oddly clunky big light switch older Rolls-Royces had, something I always thought was idiosyncratic and strange about these cars. The switch looked like a parts-bin thing from a company that made industrial presses or something, oversized and basic in a way that didn’t seem to fit with a hyper-luxury image.

But, I bet it was the best possible switch you could get, so in it went. And I like that its funny look has stuck to this day.

Want to see another very LA scene we happened to notice, in David’s parking garage? This lonely little tableau:

Cs La Tarot An orange traffic cone sharing a desolate corner with a discarded pack of Tarot cards. When was the last time you saw a discarded pack of Tarot cards? Sure, maybe you’ll see a single Tower or Hanged Man flung down in disgust, but that’s it.

Okay. Ruminate on that. I’m going back to sleep.

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Col Lingus
Col Lingus
1 year ago

Too much Sake my ass. This is a feeble minded attempt to divert our attention from the Chainsaw induced case of lead poisoning…
Nice try though.

Last edited 1 year ago by Col Lingus
Phantom Pedal Syndrome
Phantom Pedal Syndrome
1 year ago

I spy a National Holistic Institute, a Jamba Juice, Baskin Robbins, were they going to Restrained Whimsy gift shop or Attitude Optometry? This is very LA indeed.

Last edited 1 year ago by Phantom Pedal Syndrome
Óscar Morales Vivó
Óscar Morales Vivó
1 year ago

I always thought RR were as a rule cars to be chauffered in, not driven by the owner. Which would explain driver’s controls being more practical than luxurious.

Of course a wraith being a two door doesn’t really work out for someone else driving you around but maybe RR forgot to account for that.

Goof
Goof
1 year ago

RR is that it’s meant to be hidden behind the gate, not parked out front.

Hence the names: Ghost, Wraith, Phantom, Silver Shadow, etc. You *think* you’ve seen one and then, it’s gone. Like you never saw it at all.

Barry Allen
Barry Allen
1 year ago

Jason- “oh crap, I forgot to write Cold Start! Here are some photos I took on my way to the office”

He proceeds to hit it out of the park. So glad you write about cars

Crank Shaft
Crank Shaft
1 year ago

I tried sake once (or maybe twice). It tasted like warm grass water. I did not like the aftertaste at all. I’ll stick with gin. Of course, I’ll say that I don’t like beer much either, so WTF do I know?

Has anyone seen my Rolls? I left it here a little while ago. I got it for $30k (with $2k down and 8.8% APR for 96 months) after the first owner ate $250k of depreciation. I’m not even going to change the oil because that costs too much. I’m just going to drive it until it breaks down and then I’m going to find some sucker to buy it for the $18k left on the note so he can spend $12k getting it running again, but then sell it 18 months later after he finds out the cracked wheel and flat tire run $7k. He called and asked if I wanted to buy it back for a mere $5k, but I just laughed because I just obtained a nice Bentley Arnage with 23,289 miles on it for only $19k!.

Mkay.

Steve P
Steve P
1 year ago
Reply to  Crank Shaft
Slow Joe Crow
Slow Joe Crow
1 year ago
Reply to  Crank Shaft

Sake is,definitely an acquired taste. We visited Momokawa in Oregon and the only sake liked was the fresh draft sake in the tasting room.
I like your style with used luxury cars ????

Albino Kangaroo
Albino Kangaroo
1 year ago

It’s possible the specs I Googled for the Wraith are incorrect, but it seems to be 208″ in length. A two door almost 4″ inches longer than a Chrysler Pacifica and over a thousand pounds heavier.

Last edited 1 year ago by Albino Kangaroo
Andy Individual
Andy Individual
1 year ago

And the rear seats don’t even fold into the floor…

Phantom Pedal Syndrome
Phantom Pedal Syndrome
1 year ago

And no toddlers have ever vomited in one.

Addison Allen
Addison Allen
1 year ago

You can’t prove that!

Pedro
Pedro
1 year ago

I noticed that when I was cross shopping.

Buzz
Buzz
1 year ago

“Where else are you going to see a Rolls-Royce Wraith parked next to a Honda Fit and a Smart in a grocery store parking lot, just at random?”

Michigan. The state is a geographical oddity – there must be at least one example of every car ever made in this state. You’ll see a Nissan Murano CrossCabriolet driving down the road, followed by an Alfa Giulia, with a Dodge Shadow turbo convertible bringing up the rear.

Sure, they might all be rusty, and when the brakes go out in the Shadow and it rear-ends the Giulia each driver will have their premiums increase thanks to the stupid no-fault insurance here… But if you are a car lover, I don’t think there is a better state to be in if you want to see rare or unusual cars on the road

TXJeepGuy
TXJeepGuy
1 year ago
Reply to  Buzz

I was gonna say Houston as well. Really any major American city is gonna have these opportunities

Kasey
Kasey
1 year ago

I saw a Wraith in a similar situation just last night! It was sitting at a traffic light next to a rusty battered Trailblazer.

Sid Bridge
Sid Bridge
1 year ago

Nervously, he opened the pack of Tarot cards, carelessly dropping the package on the floor. He dealt out five cards, looked heavenward, and said “I must rule Hollywood! Make me impossible to ignore! I want everything to grind to a halt at the mere sight of my presence!”

Poof! Steve got his wish all right. Tomorrow he would be blocking a lane on Rodeo.

Collegiate Autodidact
Collegiate Autodidact
1 year ago

Ha. That tarot card pack looks to be empty? In any case, it’s next to a traffic cone which some people in other parts of the world, such as Australia, call a witch’s hat. If this were a scene in a novel or a film it’d be too damn on the nose…

Alan Christensen
Alan Christensen
1 year ago

In 1976 I dropped out of college in a very unwealthy and unstylish part of the country and moved to the Mecca for those aspiring to a far less boring life. I was amazed and delighted to see people daily driving things like this Rolls in very mundane places. There was something very democratic about being stuck in the same traffic jam as high end cars.

Chronometric
Chronometric
1 year ago

Had you found the Tarot cards earlier, you would have known to put down the sake cup.

Flyingstitch
Flyingstitch
1 year ago

I think the reverse-opening doors would be easier. You’re kinda-sorta stepping forward and out, not wiggling your butt sideways as you turn your body and try to stand up. I’ll have to acquire a Wraith so I can test this theory.

Slower Louder
Slower Louder
1 year ago
Reply to  Flyingstitch

The reverse-opening door implies a valet to close it once you are ensconced. By the time I can afford a Rolls my rotator cuffs will be so shredded I’ll need to sit in the car, unlock The Club from my steering wheel, and use the hook end of my Club to pull the door shut. Because external rotation of the shoulder is the first thing to fail . And because to afford a Wraith I will need to let my valet go. See you all at the 7-11.

RataTejas
RataTejas
1 year ago
Reply to  Slower Louder

Rolls has considered this, and they close on their own at the push of a button.

Slower Louder
Slower Louder
1 year ago
Reply to  RataTejas

Doh.

Amberturnsignalsarebetter
Amberturnsignalsarebetter
1 year ago
Reply to  Flyingstitch

If the doors weren’t thirteen feet long I think you’d be right, but I can’t imagine those things open more than 20 degrees without whacking the side of the car next to you.

I guess if you have a handy cone to block off the space next to you it doesn’t really matter.

Last edited 1 year ago by Amberturnsignalsarebetter
Mr Sarcastic
Mr Sarcastic
1 year ago

And everyone laughs at the front opening Isetta.

Brockstar
Brockstar
1 year ago

The car’s knob has a head setting. I love it!

Cool Dave
Cool Dave
1 year ago

“Guys, I got trashed so here’s some random stuff I saw today..”

I see random luxury barges around DFW, usually driving poorly next to an Altima with paper tags and no rear bumper.

Nsane In The MembraNe
Nsane In The MembraNe
1 year ago
Reply to  Cool Dave

That’s that Big Altima Energy, baby. Remember…no one drives an Altima on purpose

Protodite
Protodite
1 year ago

I have held for years that there is no driver scarier than the clearly beater Altima/Sentra/Versa that’s keeping up with you (or going faster) at freeway speeds. The way those go at 80+, that person has no regard for their own life, or yours, so steer clear!

Last edited 1 year ago by Protodite
Pupmeow
Pupmeow
1 year ago
Reply to  Protodite

And they probably don’t have insurance.

Col Lingus
Col Lingus
1 year ago
Reply to  Pupmeow

What is this insurance thing that you speak of?

Nsane In The MembraNe
Nsane In The MembraNe
1 year ago
Reply to  Protodite

What thoroughly worries me about those situations with economy cars is that I drive fast and my car is fast. If someone is bearing down on me in a CVT equipped shitbox they are almost certainly driving at 10 10ths….which is something that’s intentional. You don’t do that by accident.

….I avoid them as well.

Last edited 1 year ago by Nsane In The MembraNe
Nsane In The MembraNe
Nsane In The MembraNe
1 year ago

I’m not sure if it’s the same in LA but here in DC temporary tags on a high end car usually mean “stolen” and “avoid like the plague”, especially if they’re from a state other than DC, Maryland, or Virginia. I see stuff like this all the time and it’s almost always bad news. DC police also don’t enforce any traffic laws…I think the legislation behind this was well intentioned (less traffic stops=less incidents of skittish dipshit cops shooting innocent people) but the unintended consequence is it gives ghost cars free reign of the city. If I see a desirable car with tinted windows and temps I stay away.

Don Mynack
Don Mynack
1 year ago

Cops are dipshits, huh?

Gilbert Wham
Gilbert Wham
1 year ago
Reply to  Don Mynack

Yes. You should check the news now and again.

Mr Sarcastic
Mr Sarcastic
1 year ago
Reply to  Gilbert Wham

I did everyone is a dipshit. Except me and my fellow Autopians. If you spell that phonetically it seems a site for people who pee automatically.

Nsane In The MembraNe
Nsane In The MembraNe
1 year ago
Reply to  Don Mynack

The ones that shoot unarmed people during traffic stops like cowards most certainly are, and the ones who are complicit in circling the wagons to keep the other ones from being held accountable are as well…so yes, actually. American policing is a crooked institution from the top down and needs dramatic reform.

Chris with bad opinions
Chris with bad opinions
1 year ago
Reply to  Don Mynack

Yes, they are complete and total dipshits.

Mr Sarcastic
Mr Sarcastic
1 year ago

User name checks out.

Chris with bad opinions
Chris with bad opinions
1 year ago
Reply to  Mr Sarcastic

That’s very original. Also the opinion of someone who posts the moronic stuff you do means nothing to me. Now go lick some more boots.

...getstoneyII
...getstoneyII
1 year ago

So you profile people based solely on the they fact drive an Altima or have tinted windows and that’s cool, but if cops investigate something using the same methodology they are dipshits? Not to get overly aggressive here, but you wouldn’t last a week of normal tours with nothing “unusual or life-threatining” happening. That job ain’t easy, especially in a big city. Kindly keep that in mind in the future. Thanks. 🙂

Last edited 1 year ago by ...getstoneyII
Pupmeow
Pupmeow
1 year ago
Reply to  ...getstoneyII

can u not

Cerberus
Cerberus
1 year ago
Reply to  ...getstoneyII

Like the brave cops who sat outside school shootings going on?

Nsane In The MembraNe
Nsane In The MembraNe
1 year ago
Reply to  ...getstoneyII

Actually I would! In fact, I lasted years. I used to do field based mental health crisis work where we were often called in because the cops were too scared to handle someone who was mentally ill. It was a 24/7/365 operation that primarily took place in the most dangerous parts of town…and I went into those situations unarmed and without backup.

I’ve pulled suicidal people out of windows while they were trying to jump, I’ve been hit, kicked, bit, spit on, handled situations where the people around me are all armed, etc. I’m still here, and now I oversee mental health programs in those same areas and am often still the person coordinating the crisis response.

So I actually have some ground to stand on here, thank you kindly! I’m sorry if I upset you because your uncle is a cop or something but I know damn well what being a first responder is like. It’s not easy work, but that’s not an excuse to be violent. And can’t even tell you how many times I’ve had to step in before because a cop wouldn’t do their job.

...getstoneyII
...getstoneyII
1 year ago

Well, you do very important and dangerous work! I shouldn’t have assumed otherwise, that’s on me. In fact, I tried to delete that part but it was too late to edit.

My response was more based on my experience (my Uncle plays guitar). When I worked in passenger service, I too had to deal with all sorts of issues. Whether it was a mentally unstable person, a runaway kid, a sexual assault, an incoherent high person, a fatality on the tracks, and on and on. The reality was that not only was I not charged with dealing with some of those more serious situations from beginning to resolution, but it was also a liability if I did. So, I dealt with the police quite often, some of which became friends. First out of necessity, and then from mutual respect, etc.

So, I suppose if looked at in verticle integration terms, I would be the front line, the cops the second tier when needed, and you getting involved with your area of expertise when needed.

The point of this is that there were shitty conductors that didn’t do their job, there were shitty cops that didn’t do their job, and I would imagine that in your specialty there are incompetent people as well. Not all of them, but some for sure. None of these jobs dealing with the general public (the full spectrum) are easy on certain days.

You know what? I shouldn’t have even brought it up in the first place. This is a car site for fricks sake, ha. Have a nice day.

Nsane In The MembraNe
Nsane In The MembraNe
1 year ago
Reply to  ...getstoneyII

You’re good man, I think we’re both speaking from places of experience here and these discussions can get a little more heated than intended sometimes. I’m assuming we have much more in common than differences seeing as we’re both on this glorious site. You have a nice day as well, it’s all good!

Mr Sarcastic
Mr Sarcastic
1 year ago

If true your user name seems wildly inappropriate and uncaring.

Nsane In The MembraNe
Nsane In The MembraNe
1 year ago
Reply to  Mr Sarcastic

….if a pun combining the model of the car I drive and the lyrics of a very well known Cypress Hill song is wildly inappropriate and uncaring, then sure! Just be sure to stretch out before making a reach of that caliber next time 😉

Phantom Pedal Syndrome
Phantom Pedal Syndrome
1 year ago

Some people are just loco en el coco.

Amberturnsignalsarebetter
Amberturnsignalsarebetter
1 year ago

I don’t mean to brag, but my luxury grand tourer has window wipers both front and back, and the glass for the turn signals is a bold shade of orange, not the sad clear sliver this Roller has been lumbered with.

I almost feel sorry for this poor soul and their Wraith.

Lew Schiller
Lew Schiller
1 year ago

Looks like a discarded Tarot Card pack sleeve to me.

CSRoad
CSRoad
1 year ago
Reply to  Lew Schiller

There’s a message there too.

Pupmeow
Pupmeow
1 year ago
Reply to  CSRoad

“Do not linger in dangerously isolated positions.”
-Sun Tzu
-Also, this discarded tarot card sleeve.

Stef Schrader
Stef Schrader
1 year ago
Reply to  CSRoad

“The future is garbage?” Now that one I’d believe.

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