So, full disclosure, I stayed up waaaayyy too late writing another story, because I didn’t really get going on it until I was coming back from dropping David off at the airport after coming out here to drop off That Van and join me for the First Autopian North Carolina Meetup and all that. Anyway, this will be a short Cold Start, but I think I can make up for that by insuring you it’ll be a silly one.
Oh, and if you don’t want to see profanity this early in the morning, my apologies, but you best click back to the Autopian home page for wholesome car goodness.
It started when I saw this tweet from the Japanese Honda History account. It showed this old ad for the amazing Honda Vamos:
The Honda Vamos is one of my all-time favorite Hondas. It’s a strange little kei-class utility/fun vehicle, sort of like Honda’s Volkswagen Thing version of their early 360cc Kei cars and trucks. I did a whole video about it when I was at the Old Site:
Anyway, it’s fantastic. But something about that ad caught my vulgar eye, something strange. Look at the background of that ad again, behind the farmhands collecting milk in their Vamos, among the cows:
What does it say back there? MOTHER F? Could that possibly be? Is it possible if we zoom out, we’ll see something like this? Look:
I mean, maybe? Maybe this is Samuel L. Jackson’s dairy farm in Japan? I guess it could be something else, but I doubt it! Severely doubt it!
Also, do you like our new sophisticated biological AI that extrapolated out the rest of that image? What an astounding age we live in.
It’s next to Sneed’s Feed and Seed.
You may remember it as Chuck’s
I know what those cowfolk are thinking.
Working hard on (what is clearly) ‘Mother Fucker Farm’.
“An udder day an udder dollar.”
Just posting because Vamos.
They say this Honda is a bad Mother F–
(Shut your mouth!)
But I’m talkin’ ’bout the Honda Vamos!
(Then we can dig it!)
[’70s music intensifies]
Since “Vamos” means “Let’s go”, this ad is saying “Let’s go, MoFo”
Definitely can’t be an ‘R’ since we would see the leg. Perhaps it’s “Mother Plucker’s,” and that building is where they process the chickens.
Mother Porker?
You forgot the s on the second word.
It’s just the sign for the barn where they keep the bulls.
Lol
You meet the rudest people on a Honda.
Mother Farm is a well known asylum for 3-legged cows (the only one in the world, btw). Your new AI seems to know this, since it drew the missing half of that cow correctly.
Lean beef?
It’s Mother Farm’s best selling product. Followed by whipped cream, straight from the cow.
Tri-tip
What you can’t see is the giant arrow after FUCKER pointing at Mike Pence’s house.
Word has it that they are now distributing free maps to Mar A Lago.
Clearly this snapshot caught the cows mid-coup. They’ve escaped their cruel milking contraptions, and are demanding what is to become of their mother flicking milk!
We gonna see who gets milked now…
Everything will go fine as long as they remember not to put the pigs in charge.
I’m just here for the tags at the end. Looking forward to see what other posts get tagged with some of those in the future.
USA: We take our silly profanity sightings where we can get them…
That’s right, Mother Farmer!
I don’t know why, but I get a hint of the truck loading scenes from Sorcerer from this pic and now I want to see the bridge scene from Sorcerer reenacted but with a Honda Vamos.
Admit it, this entire post is just an excuse to draw that cow’s ass 🙂
The meatsack.ai did do a nice job. The cow coverage is a little spotty, though.
Honda Lets Go
“sophisticated biological AI”
More commonly referred to as “wetware” in Bill Gibson books. 🙂
I’m a big fan of Neuromancer.
Me too. We have just about every book Bill Gibson has published.
There’s a ranch named Mother Farm in Futtsu Japan…
Don’t ruin this for me with your “facts”
Sorry, I prefer the other name, but the world is not fair…
Looking on the positive side, you now have the more family-friendly epithet of “motherfarmers.”
Looks like a decent sized agritourism operation, as well
Sure there is now, but that sounds like a clumsy retcon to me.
“Dude ranch.”
Look at Jason, being all fancy and sophisticated.
Jason, next time you put your biological AI into action, it/he/you should be dressed in a tux and have a cocktail glass (it can be full of shrimp). Really strive to be the most sophisticated biological AI possible.
Fancy Jason doesn’t have the same cachet as Fancy Kristen.
I detect the leg of an R just before the cutoff. So it’s definitely Mother Rucker’s Dairy Farm.
Too wide for an R. Definitely an F.
Dammit, you’re right you dirty mother rucker.
I’m in a bit gentler mood this morning: I assumed Mother Farms 😉
ooohhhhhhhh FARMS! Too on the nose. I’m sticking with Mother Fucker. MAYBE Mother Fucker Farms, depending on how wide that roof is.
Samuel L. Jackson voice. Get these mother fucking cows milked on this mother fucking farm.
Japanese, motherfucker! Do you speak it?
That is one tasty burger Motherfarmer!
Or maybe b/c in that process of turning eloquent Japanese turned into basic if humorous English, Mother Farm.
Japan: There are smaller farms around it. It is the mother farm and so it would have a sign saying that. USA: “why would there be a sign?!”