You know what I miss that cars often had up until the ’90s or so, and are almost extinct today? Badges. Not the usual make/model badges, though, we still have plenty of those, I mean the highly-specific feature badges that cars used to proudly display. Actually, not even just features – also technical details.
You know what I mean, right? There was a time when carmakers were so proud of a particular technological innovation that they’d produce whole chrome badges crowing about something like how many camshafts the engine had, or the method by which fuel was delivered to the engine, or how many gears the transmission had.
You could roll up behind a car and be proudly told how many valves per cylinder that engine was sporting, if the fuel was injected, or if that engine was turbocharged, and if it was, if that turbo had a partner or not. It was glorious! You could see what the engineers were most proud of, all without opening the hood!
Modern cars, though, they don’t do this anymore, it seems. And it’s not like there aren’t plenty of technical innovations to crow about. But people seem less interested in the technical minutia, less willing to brag about how having four valves per cylinder than they are about what features and creature comforts and tech whatevers they have. So maybe we need to re-think these detail badges for a new era.
For example, a badge like this seems like it would be pretty damn important to a lot of people:
A Carplay Ready badge! Sure, there’d likely be an Android Auto Ready one, too. The presence of CarPlay capability is a dealbreaker for a lot of people, so you’d think owners would like to make sure everyone behind them knows what they’ve got on that center screen.
Here’s another feature I see on a lot of new cars, but one that’s generally quite hidden unless you’re in the car:
What’s the point of being able to set the ambient footwell lighting of your car to the perfect shade of plum if no one knows you can do that? This badge would solve that. PERMANENTLY.
Here’s a good idea: if you are stuck with a car that uses some kind of miserable subscription service so you can have access to things like heated seats or whatever, may as well let everyone know your pain, right? Put that shit right on the back of the car!
Here’s a good one for EVs:
How many gears your transmission has has long been something to crow about in chrome on your tailgate, and just because most modern EVs only have one gear, that’s no reason not to show it off!
You know what people really want to know about your car? I mean, at least as much as they probably wanted to know how many valves per cylinder you had? This:
USB ports! And yes, I think it’s important to break that down into the number of USB-A and USB-C type ports.
This one is maybe less of a feature and more of a warning:
I feel like I’d want to know this just by looking at the car, so I can judge accordingly.
For some reason, “twin” is always fun on a badge, whether it refers to camshafts or carburetors or turbos. So what’s a nice new thing we can describe as being twinned? How about this:
Twin cabin air filters! That’s living right there.
I’m sure there’s other good ones, so feel free to discuss, debate, debase, and defrock in the comments!
We have a car dealer around here that does very high volumes named Sewell who seemingly have made their script look almost identical to the font on Infinitis. They even color match to the car’s badges. Infinity usually only has the logo on the back so I wouldn’t be surprised if there are people who think they’re a manufacturer.
Makes me think of the ‘krom’ badge I saw on a Nissan Cube that had the little chrome bumper slats. We need more wacky badges.
My Lotus Elise had a “sport” badge on it, which seemed unnecessary. My mk2 MR2 have a “GTi” badge on it, which again seemed to be undermined by the car quite clearly being a mid-engined sports car.
I’d quite like “epicyclic” on EVs with the appropriate gearbox.
Or “axial flux”.
Or “manual door handles”.
As an alternative, you could have had the Touring model Elise.
And drag around 10kg of air conditioning? The horror!
I’m guessing you don’t live on the surface of the sun, as we do here!
There was a special ac package for the middle eastern Elise, if you ever need one that is especially effective.
I took a Prius Prime on a 5500 mile road trip last year.
Amusingly to me I found I got better mpg with the ac on in recirculation mode vs. vents open to outside air with ac off
Never in a million years did I expect such a result
It is a little surprizing it was significant, but not unheard of.
I would caution that when I tracked mpg closely, I had to do it routinely to account for road variations, weather, and wind.
The hypermile sites seem to confirm this.
According to them, wind direction is a major factor. Wind at an angle is worse than a direct headwind. I had my car tuned closely enough that fuel variations were obvious to me. I ran premium only, and Exxon premium did not work.
I think I found it surprising as this is the only car I’ve owned where this has been the case (i.e. ac turned on w/recirculation being more efficient than ac off and fan on with vents pulling in fresh air)
Bring a 5500 road trip + it was out west (USA) so often the posted speed limit was 80 mph, I wasn’t intentionally hyper miling it either usually driving at the speed limit or w/in 10 mph over
Kudos to the Toyota engineers, I love cars where you can tell the engineers were allowed to go nuts.
Another fun example from the same car… the rear hatch is carbon fiber. And yes of course the BMW i3 amd i8 were All carbon fiber structure, still another surprise to me that I actually didn’t realize until more than a year after I bought it
Perfect badge for any Elise:
“NHRN”
Tesla has a “dual motor” badge.
My 450 SEL is US market, so it *only* has the “6.9” badge (nice), not the 450 SEL badge others did.
Mercedes still has “4matic.” Models with 2WD and AWD variants usually have an “AWD” badge.
Porsche’s recent (upcoming?) electrics have “Turbo” on them, which is hilarious.
“Hybrid” is fairly common.
What else is still in use?
My Explorer has an “Ecoboost” badge and my BMW has a rather cheesy “Luxury Line” one. That’s half of my cars having badges, with the other 2 being a 50 and 25 year old shitboxes.
I think Torch hasn’t been paying attention.
Luxury line!
Not all Porsche BEVs have Turbo – that is for the high end (fastest) versions of a model.
Any “SUBSCRIPTION FEATURES” badge would be paired with a series of LEDs that light up for each feature enabled, allowing the most profligate spenders to flex their monthly expense.
And they blink annoyingly if the owner canceled.
Those “ABS” badges GM slapped on damn near anything in the ’90s.
Mine has badges on the driver window that the car is “WiFi ready”. Which it would be if General Motors hadn’t turned all the servers off and stopped offering the service. The hardware’s still in there though. Somewhere.
Maybe I should aspire to a “STRAIGHT-4 POWER” badge. I mean, most ICE cars these days are 3-pots, right?
I think this may be a marketable idea…
Dual Airbag Equipped. Refers to the occupants, not the equipment.
My favorite: Shitbox Edition
I’ve seen 2 of these on the streets.
I see the hastily bunched together letter salad that is Chery Tiggo 8 Pro Max . I call them the Tiggo 8 Pro Lapse whenever I see them, though I suppose actually that would mean there would be more space between the badges, not less
Nissan has on the back of it’s Pulsars (Sentra in the US – 2011ish to 2020ish) ‘pure-drive’ for the manual versions and something like ‘xtronic’ for the CVT. Both use the same badge size and blue on silver background. Neither is necessary. Going by Jasons standards, but mixed with the ridiculous 4DSC of Maximas of old, I suggest N-FRS on the flanks. For Non-Folding Rear Seat.
I’ll admit, in the brief year I was driving an ’89 Maxima, I found a set of repro 4DSC window stickers and put them back on the rear windows!
Just landed in Germany to visit the in-laws, rented a new Golf wagon ‘Energy’ whatever that’s supposed to mean. It has ‘Energy’ logos on the back and sides, and projects it on the ground at night (puddle lights). So I guess it uses energy, like, to drive and stuff?
Is there actually a car currently sold in America that requires the use of an app on your phone in order to use the car?
I’m sure I’ve seen some Chinese-market EVs that don’t seem like you could unlock them and turn on the ignition without a phone.
But is there any such thing in America? Just wondering.
Yes but the app only works on Obama phones.
Not on the T1 from Trump Mobile?
Probably that too.
Dual Motor >> Twin Cam. So that’s solved.
What we REALLY need is more modern car equivalents to those old SAAB ‘TURBO’ badges and decals.
EDIT: Also here’s one:
“Rental Edition”
I’m here to tell you as an original source: the sight of the “Tuned Port Injection” callout on Z28s/IROCs, Trans Ams, and Corvettes, and “5.0” on a Mustang’s fender, brought a sigh of relief after decades wandering the malaise wasteland. Like water in the desert.
True but these days a “Tuned Port Injection” badge would be about as common as a “Pneumatic Tires” or “Hydraulic Brakes” badge
Why not all three?
Why not indeed?
I am pretty sure I’ve seen a Power Brakes badge on something.
As have I. Pretty sure “Disc Brakes” too.
VW might want to put that one on the next version of their MEB platform
“Dual Motor” is pretty badass, if you think about it.
It would be fun to put a Dual Motor badge on an ICE car.
That would be a twin engine car:
https://www.caranddriver.com/features/a63150573/twin-engine-honda-crx-drive/
Were those the mirror image versions on the front of the Saab?
My TR6 has an over Overdrive chrome badge below the chrome Triumph badge on the tail end.
Badges? We don’t need no stinking badges. Vamanos!
Hey, where the white women at?
Lady, that’s my arm…
My ’14 Camry Hybird wears big, lurid “Special Edition” badges on the doors.Yes, these were factory.
Needs to add in GTTG
My understanding is that in late ’14 Toyota decided to offer the hybrid under the ‘sport’ SE trim. Mine has the larger 17″ wheels, deck spoiler, seats and mid-level trim of a regular SE.
GTTG is for “Grounded To The Ground”
Not gonna lie – I found an old Ford 5-speed badge, sprayed it body-color and pasted it on my ’94 SHO. I also added old school Ford V8 badges to the front fenders of my ’96 4.6L TBird.
Thinking of the EV I saw with the badge “It’s electric / boogie woogie woogie”
(Does that mean I have to learn the Electric Slide when I get my EV?)
I know this is meant in jest but if I had an electric car I would totally love a 1-speed badge. I ight even have to have one printed up
Yeah, I wouldn’t mind one at all for my Volt.
Or for your CVT.
I do have a car with a CVT. Hmm… maybe “belt-fed”?
“Wide Belt”
All-speed Drive?
These days, they’ll want to announce to the world “Automatic Cismission, Heteroturbos”, or worse “Naturally Aspirated”. As if a puffer were contrary to nature.
Thirty years ago, we celebrated TransSport; now people are claiming it threatens us. What’s this world come to if people have to hide their badges and garage their cars? Can’t I express in public my love for a Trans-Am or a Clio without someone criticizing our existence?
Although I’d think a badge that read:
BITURBO-
curious
Would always be classy.
“Simulated Shift Equipped” has a nice ring to it.
I would want the 2-speed badge.
“2-Speed” would be perfect on a Porsche Taycan
16 Cupholders badge on the back, perfect for any minivan or SUV today.
17 if you’re the Odyssey, IIRC.
My Jeep ZJ with the 5.2L V8 proudly wore a badge touting its “MPI” or multi-port fuel injection. No silly single injector spraying down for me!
Well, that’s twice as many, so it was a big deal at the time.
Handling by Lotus……
On a Chevrolet Spectrum!
I think the 4 door Izuzu I-Mark had a badge like that
Great idea, BUT: Nobody would notice the badges since anytime a modern driver gets within 500 feet of an intersection or slow traffic, they are looking at their phone or screen in the car.