Home » Everything Is Cold And The Wind Feels Like An Ice Laser: Day Two Of David’s Terrible California Move

Everything Is Cold And The Wind Feels Like An Ice Laser: Day Two Of David’s Terrible California Move

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David, Jason, and Otto are slowly crawling their way across the country with sunny California as their destination. After discovering that our fearless leader hasn’t packed anything and eats spaghetti in his shower, somehow the trio managed to dig David out of his Detroit home and got him on the road towards California. But don’t think our team is having an easy time just yet, as they now face freezing cold, a swaying load, tiredness, and seemingly all-round misery. Well, maybe not Otto, he looks like he’s having a blast.

To give you an idea of David’s and Jason’s situation, I’m the one writing the sitrep this morning. Jason tells us that they got in at 2:30am late last night and they were beyond tired. And now, they’re getting ready to hit the road again. Thankfully, Jason gave me some key data before they steeled themselves for another day on the road.

Vidframe Min Top
Vidframe Min Bottom

It’s Cold, So Very Cold

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David Tracy

Our adventurers chose perhaps the worst time to move. America has been dealing with the aftermath of a major storm system and deep freeze. And while things are warming up, it’s still pretty cold out there. In fact, here’s how Jason describes the situation:

It’s so very cold, always and everywhere. I’m tired of being so cold. The wind cuts through you like ice lasers every gas stop.

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Jason Torchinsky

And remember, he’s the one driving the cushy Jeep Wagoneer. Speaking of which, Jason’s had enough time behind the Wagoneer to discover some of its quirks and features. One thing that stood out to him is the lack of Jeep badging.

Well, take a look at this thing!

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Jason Torchinsky

There’s a “Wagoneer” on the hood, on the front doors, and on the tailgate. You also get American flags, but no Jeep branding. Ah, but what about the interior? Even the steering wheel just says Wagoneer on it. The Grand Wagoneer has the same thing going on. Jason isn’t the only person to notice this, and Jeep CEO Christian Meunier has an explanation: “The Grand Wagoneer name and design make it obviously Jeep.”

Aside from the lack of badging, Jason reports some good statistics about the Wagoneer. This SUV is towing a U-Haul AT Auto Transport trailer, which weighs in at 2,210 pounds. Toss in David’s 4,300-pound Golden Eagle, and the Wagoneer is hauling 6,510 pounds of Americana. Jason describes this setup as “luxury but pulling a fishtaily 5,000-pound boat anchor.” With all that the Wagoneer is averaging about 10 mpg.

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David Tracy

Other observations from Jason include the fact that he’s not fond of using touch buttons for everything and Apple CarPlay stopped working for some reason, but at least Otto is enjoying his screen in back, which plays YouTube videos. Someone also rolled coal on them last night, but Jason was baffled because it’s not like their convoy was green at all.

From The Mustang

David recorded this video, where he describes his struggle to stay awake in the pony car:

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Jason says that, alarmingly, when the Rustman gets tired, the Mustang weaves about. The Mustang also seems to have some sort of issue, as it fires right up but appears to have a misfire.

Still, despite everything, Jason, David, and Otto are having quite the adventure. They managed to stop at a Wally’s! Now, if you’re not from Illinois or Missouri, I’ll fill you in.

Wallys Travel Center Pontiac Il4 1024x768
Wally’s

On the surface, Wally’s just looks like a huge gas station with 76 pumps. But there’s way more going on than that. Inside of a Wally’s you’ll find a BBQ pit, a beef jerky bar, a carving station, huge bathrooms, popcorn, and seemingly anything you’d need for a road trip. I’m usually in too much of a rush to stop and stare, but Wally’s has long been fascinating to me. There are just two of them so far, and our road trippers got to go to one of them. David even left with Wally’s merch!

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Jason Torchinsky
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Jason Torchinsky

Eventually, they did arrive in St. Louis for their last-minute reader meetup. Jason describes a small gathering of two, where reader Toecutter showed up with this awesome streamliner bike. The other reader was a maritime cartographer with an XJ.

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Jason Torchinsky

Today, our dear leaders continue their trip westward. Hopefully, the temps warm up, CarPlay gets its act together, and the misery eases. Good luck, guys! Follow our Twitter page and check here to stay up to date on their trip, as well as for further meetups the trio have along the way.

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Jim Zavist
Jim Zavist
1 year ago

Unfortunately, the last-minute meet-up was too last-minute/not-enough-time, for me . . . safe travels!

415s30
415s30
1 year ago

I drove a 60’s fastback Mustang from Reno to Red Lodge MT, it belonged to my aunt and she wanted it delivered up in MT so I said ok. I don’t like the Wagoneer at all, it’s boring and overpriced, I’d rather have a nice Cherokee.

Forbestheweirdo
Forbestheweirdo
1 year ago

Wally’s sounds like Buccee’s in Texas. I absolutely abhor them. Going in just to get a drink and offload the previous one takes an hour because of how crowded the place is. No thanks.

10001010
10001010
1 year ago

If you’re just looking for a fill-up and a restroom there may be better options out there but if you’re looking for beaver nuggets and bohemian garlic jerky and some chocolate covered almonds and a bbq sandwich and a cup of banana pudding and beaver branded tshirts, flip-flops, hats, oven mitts, sunglasses, and beach blankets there’s really only one option.

Stef Schrader
Stef Schrader
1 year ago

Yeah, I don’t get the standom unless you really need a quick bite to eat at the same time. Buc-ee’s isn’t particularly special—it’s just big. It’s always crowded because every Buc-ee’s becomes a tourist trap. The hot food is pretty solid, though, and at least there’s a food register that lets you pay there and skip the other ones. Ordering Wawa-style off a screen is awesome when you’re picky.

Otherwise? The bathrooms are clean, but auto-flush. Well-behaved auto-flush, but still: I hate auto-flush. The other items on sale are mostly things you can find elsewhere or the kind of preservative-heavy fare that’s private-labeled under other gas stations as well. I guess there’s Beaver Nuggets (which are fine, but aren’t my fave) or and other Buc-ee’s-branded kitsch (which has somehow managed to wear out beaver puns without ever having to be tweeted by Elon Musk) that’s unique, but that’s honestly the “live laugh love” sign of the road nowadays.

The trick seems to be to check-out at the registers at the ends instead of the middle because they’re less busy, but you still have to push through a dumb crowd to get to the fudge station. I’m here for fudge, dagnabbit. I’m a curfudgeon. Make it easier for me to get fudge.

Eric Busch
Eric Busch
1 year ago

On my last major move, I gave most of my stuff to charity.

Packed up 7 boxes of the stuff I did keep and shipped it UPS to my new destination and flew there.

My car had been stolen a few months earlier so the timing was kind of perfect.

Starting over from pretty much scratch was possibly the best decision I’ve ever made.

Larry
Larry
1 year ago

David, get the Mustang to a California alignment shop with some older guys handling the wrenches. Maybe that will help, or maybe you’ve got a bad rag joint or other tired steering part. My 67 Mustang has been around Lake Superior, through the Rockies, and to the Gulf Coast. Just because it’s old tech doesn’t mean it can’t drive well.

Dave Horchak
Dave Horchak
1 year ago

As a frequent mover 27 times in 30 years all self moves i have some advice. Never set an alarm except for check out. A well rested driver is a safe driver. Only stop to pee, fuel up, and get more caffiene. Drive until you are tired not exhausted. You can get there a day earlier but you spend it sleeping. I did a Seneca SC to Eureka CA in 2.5 days. It helps heading west. I think it was 2100 miles so about 800 miles a day. Arrived fresh right at happy hour with a day off before starting a new job.

Paul Brogger
Paul Brogger
1 year ago
Reply to  Dave Horchak

It helps heading west.
Why?
Because the earth is rotating beneath your wheels to the east?

10001010
10001010
1 year ago
Reply to  Paul Brogger

You get a little bit more time before the sun goes down.

Dar Khorse
Dar Khorse
1 year ago

Thanks for filling in Mercedes.
There ain’t no cold like midwestern cold. It’s the humidity and the wind that make it so bad. I’ve slept in a tent in -20 F weather here in Colorado and that was pretty cold, but I’ve never been as cold in my life as when I was living in Evansville, IN. I had just moved there back in the late 80’s and was working for Calgon Industrial Water Management. I was bundled up pretty good with layers and everything, but atop a 20-foot high water tank on the plains of Indiana, with nothing to shelter me from the wind and around temperatures about 10 below, I got so cold that my ears stopped working – I actually couldn’t hear, as if my head was encased in cotton. I got my water sample and carefully climbed down the ladder. About halfway down, more or less out of the wind, my ears started to thaw and I could hear a droning noise coming from somewhere. When I got all the way down, I realized that the sound I was hearing was my own voice. I was screaming at the top of my lungs – “Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!” I didn’t realize it but my brain had kicked into some kind of primordial alarm state. Luckily nobody else was around. I got inside and thawed out and immediately went and bought some 40 below-rated insulated coveralls.
Stay safe guys!

Man With A Reliable Jeep
Man With A Reliable Jeep
1 year ago

You don’t mess with a man who eats spaghetti in the shower. That’s not a madman, that’s a person of vision; a leader.

Dave Horchak
Dave Horchak
1 year ago

Well you get fed, get clean, and do not need to do dishes.
We have found a leader and he is Dave Tracy.

Paul Brogger
Paul Brogger
1 year ago
Reply to  Dave Horchak

But to truly complete this victory over mundane necessities, we’ll want a garbage disposal unit in the shower drain!

You’re welcome.

Skurdnee
Skurdnee
1 year ago

the road salt on the mustang stresses me out

BirkyBuick
BirkyBuick
1 year ago

Saw y’all on I-44 today on our return trip from a Arizona National Parks vacation. Off in the distance I recognized the iconic mustang and towed Jeep combo and woo’d heartily.

It’s a shame Michigan is losing such a legendary automotive goblin as David, but I’m excited for all the adventures and future endeavors this move will bring!

The Toecutter
The Toecutter
1 year ago
Reply to  BirkyBuick

In the Mad Max hooniverse, David is known as a God-tier blackfinger.

Boulevard_Yachtsman
Boulevard_Yachtsman
1 year ago
Reply to  The Toecutter

I think I recall seeing that via one of the History Men Wordburgers.

Jblues
Jblues
1 year ago

This convoy isn’t complete unless they have CBs in both vehicles and let us all know what channel they’re on.

Captain Chaos
Captain Chaos
1 year ago

So with Torch and David out on a harrowing adventure together, is Mercedes in some kind of designated survivor type situation, providing all of these updates from an “undisclosed location”?

Nycbjr
Nycbjr
1 year ago
Reply to  Captain Chaos

this made me pee a little lol

Lew Schiller
Lew Schiller
1 year ago

I yearn for a good Deep Dish Pizza

Dave Horchak
Dave Horchak
1 year ago

From one of the apparently 30 Original Uno Pizzarias?

Stef Schrader
Stef Schrader
1 year ago

…with or without the extra shampoo sauce on top?

Jblues
Jblues
1 year ago

What’s actually alarming is the apparent Carolina Squat on the Mustang.

Seriously, how much weight is in the trunk?

The Toecutter
The Toecutter
1 year ago
Reply to  Jblues

I didn’t noticed that. That’s hilarious! Might be getting worse fuel economy than the Wagoneer loaded down like that.

Jack Trade
Jack Trade
1 year ago
Reply to  Jblues

I figure the trunk is filled with tools encased in massive ice chunks as chiseled up from the garage floor and the Mustang’s trim will get better as they make it west…

Rollin Hand
Rollin Hand
1 year ago
Reply to  Jack Trade

We had to know he’d find a way to bring rust to California.

NDPilot
NDPilot
1 year ago
Reply to  Jblues

On the upside there’s plenty of weight for traction on those rear wheels if he does encounter any ice….

Don Mynack
Don Mynack
1 year ago

So you are saying there is an aftermarket for Jeep badges on Wagoneers?

Nlpnt
Nlpnt
1 year ago
Reply to  Don Mynack

And woodgrain paneling I hope.

A. Barth
A. Barth
1 year ago

“Our adventurers chose perhaps the worst time to move.”

That could not be any more on-brand. 🙂

And I appreciate that the vehicle on DT’s shirt has the faux wood grain on the sides. I’d wager that was a key factor in his decision to buy it.

The Toecutter
The Toecutter
1 year ago
Reply to  A. Barth

I could totally see David someday owning a rusted-to-crap replica of the Wagon Queen Family Truckster, just from that shirt alone.

A. Barth
A. Barth
1 year ago
Reply to  The Toecutter

“You may think you hate it now, but wait until you drive it!”

RootWyrm
RootWyrm
1 year ago
Reply to  A. Barth

Excuse you?
That’s not faux woodgrain.

That is genuine AMC simulated wood trim on a (checks taillights) 1984-1991 Jeep Grand Wagoneer.

The Toecutter
The Toecutter
1 year ago

I didn’t realize there was a meetup until that evening. I dropped everything I was doing and headed over. Meeting David and Torch was a pleasure. I was pleasantly surprised when they covered dinner for us. That was really cool of them. I look forward to sharing my projects at a later date with some member articles, and these projects will also be showcased at local car shows when they are ready.

The bike pictured in this article is not the one I built, but is being used as a template for the redesign of the one I built. A bit about it. Since my motorized custom build is disassembled and sitting in my bedroom, this one pictured has been my transportation. It is a fully unmotorized carbon fiber monocoque with a bicycle drivetrain, front drum brakes, 20″ front wheels, and a 26″ rear wheel. I pedal it to make it go. This vehicle, unladen, weighs 70 lbs, has a drag coefficient of 0.08, a frontal area of 0.41 m^2, and the Continental Contact Urban tires I’m using have a coefficient of rolling resistance of approximately 0.005.

Holding 30 mph on flat ground takes about the same effort as a light jog, and I can sprint to 50 mph on flat ground, although reaching 50 mph does take about 2 miles without interruptions. Going uphill takes a lot of effort, and there are steep hills that for the same effort to do 30-35 mph on flat ground, I’m doing 5 mph up the hill. I’ve exceeded 80 mph going down a very steep and very long hill. When the weather permits, I put an average of about 30 miles a day on it. However, is is VERY difficult to work on. Everything is sealed to the airflow. Changing a rear tire is a 2 hour ordeal. The shift cables froze up due to water ingress and the cold weather, which made riding it tricky. And there is only 3 inches of ground clearance, which means I have to be careful where and how I ride it. The roads around here are laughed at by Bulgarian and Nigerian immigrants I know because they’re so much worse than what they are used to in their home countries, so that should let you know the ordeals associated with living with this bike as transportation here. I’ve had to do carbon fiber repair work on the underside of this vehicle multiple times.

I reverse engineered aspects of that Milan SL, and am seeking to get as much of its aerodynamic slipperiness as possible for my custom microcar projects, while making the minimum concessions needed for the vehicle to be practical to use over bad roads. I’m aiming for a wider track, more ground clearance, and stronger mechanical bits to handle highway speeds. If I assume I end up with double the Milan’s drag, a vehicle like such should only need about 0.020 kWh/mile to hold 70 mph on flat ground, or if using a 49cc 4-stroke Otto-cycle gasoline engine, get well over 1,000 mpg at the same speed, and close to double that economy with a diesel. And any amount of power output from all of Jason’s crap cans, including the 1.1 horsepower Changli, is enough power to make such a vehicle freeway capable.

Pics of all of my fleet below:

Pics of the microcar before disassembly:

https://i.imgur.com/1KvhZN8.jpg
https://i.imgur.com/j75uGn7.jpg
https://i.imgur.com/tzO209r.jpg
https://i.imgur.com/Jrz8rYc.jpg

Microcar disassembled:

https://i.imgur.com/SzrJUyk.jpg
https://i.imgur.com/2A4V7q3.jpg

My electric Triumph GT6:

https://i.imgur.com/E4pduC3.jpg
https://i.imgur.com/fhtXgK2.jpg
https://i.imgur.com/1g7dh1a.jpg?2

Milan SL velomobile:

https://i.imgur.com/27RDHrX.jpg
https://i.imgur.com/0uyALPF.jpg
https://i.imgur.com/KufY24X.jpg

Not part of my fleet, but here’s the Minion, a project I helped a friend with, whose design is based on my microcar, and which he welded together and built(his Instagram acct is IdyllicPixel):

https://i.imgur.com/82gCI0U.jpg
https://i.imgur.com/Clqm3Qn.jpg
https://i.imgur.com/qAJ4S92.jpg
https://i.imgur.com/dDrugym.jpg
https://i.imgur.com/ouPexI0.jpg

https://www.instagram.com/idyllicpixel/

Cheats McCheats
Cheats McCheats
1 year ago
Reply to  The Toecutter

You sir are a mad man, and I approve.

Lizardman in a human suit
Lizardman in a human suit
1 year ago
Reply to  The Toecutter

This is a car site, sir. (Sees insanely cool wheeled vehicles) Um. Nevermind. I think we have a candidate for reader rides.

Lizardman in a human suit
Lizardman in a human suit
1 year ago

Now that I think of it, ToeCutters vehicles can be considered alternative fuel internal combustion engine vehicles. Humans are technically internal combustion engines, right?

The Toecutter
The Toecutter
1 year ago

When I get done with the custom, it will be able to reach triple-digit speeds and accelerate faster than most new cars. Hoping to get 400 miles range at 35 mph and 120 miles range at 70 mph. It will also have solar panels embedded into the body. A full charge with the larger battery going in it will only cost $0.25.

It is only a “bicycle” for legal reasons. And also for the fact that with the motor completely disabled I can still pedal it every bit as fast or even faster than a normal bicycle, retaining its full functionality as such.

I suppose you could call it an internal combustion vehicle. I go through a lot of fuel to ride them, so dealing with the inevitable exhaust product can be sometimes inconvenient, and often messy. I go through a 32oz jug of mixed nuts, a 1 lb box of raisins, and about 3 gallons of water to ride 200 miles with the motor shut off. Using the electric motor makes things a lot more livable in this regard.

I plan to eventually build an actual car off of this concept, with no bicycle drivetrain.

Imagine this: a 150 lb 3-wheeled vehicle, with a 50 horsepower hub motor/controller combo in each wheel for AWD, which is able to travel 200 miles on a charge real-world driving at highway speeds for less than it costs to take the bus a few miles. Everything on the vehicle that could go wrong wouldn’t cost more than a few hundred dollars to fix, including the battery. Theoretically, if you limit it to 120 mph, a 1/4 mile time in the 9s and 0-60 mph acceleration in about 2 seconds is possible. And if mass produced, its cost could be comparable to a moped.

Lizardman in a human suit
Lizardman in a human suit
1 year ago
Reply to  The Toecutter

And there is the article series. Documenting the build, including the engineering and such, would be a fantastic read. And the evolution of your builds will be amazing.

Dave Horchak
Dave Horchak
1 year ago

Well with the right brand of chili they are!
Bazinga

The Toecutter
The Toecutter
1 year ago
Reply to  Dave Horchak

It doesn’t matter what I eat to fuel these things. Restroom visits are an… um… “regular” occurrence with all the food I go through.

I also make my own chili, instead of buying it from a can. I have a recipe for a 5-pepper Pentagram chili that I named “El excremento del diablo” that uses copious quantities of Dave’s Insanity Sauce. It’s really good stuff, and some would call, “hot shit.” If I were to sell it, I’d draw an image of Satan himself loading it into the pot.

Scatalogical references aside(and as beloved as they are at this site), here’s the recipe:

-1 sixteen ounce can of salmon, deboned
-1 thirty-two oz can of tomato sauce
-1/4 cup of brown sugar
-5 habanero peppers, chopped
-10 serrano peppers, chopped
-10 jalapeño peppers, chopped
-10 red thai peppers, chopped
-2 large poblamo pepper, chopped
-2 sixteen oz cans of black beans
-2 sixteen oz cans of red kidney beans
-1 large bulb of garlic, peeled and chopped
-1 red onion, chopped
-4 key limes, peeled and chopped
-8 oz lime juice
-1 large bunch of cilantro
-chili powder
-sea salt
-black pepper
-16oz chopped grassfed fajita steak
-water
-Dave’s Insanity sauce, for more heat

I sautee the limes, onion, garlic, poblamo, and steak together in olive oil. Everything else including the salmon is loaded into the pot to cook slowly. Once the sauteed mixture is cooked, it is added to the pot.

I can go through the entire pot in less than two days.

Rollin Hand
Rollin Hand
1 year ago

He does ride it. The judges should allow it.

The Toecutter
The Toecutter
1 year ago
Reply to  Rollin Hand

Since building it in 2016, the frame and most of the parts that the microcar is made out of have more than 70,000 miles on it.

That is a lot of money saved by not using a conventional automobile.

Due to the wear and tear on everything, the entire bike is being overhauled for the upgrades. It’s going to need it. I’m trying to size everything for the bare minimum weight needed to be rugged enough for the operating conditions it will be subject to. The forces the vehicle and its components are subject to while travelling on a highway at highway speeds are more than an order of magnitude increased versus at bicycle-appropriate speeds. The steering spindles are the weak spot, and the right-side spindle did fail once while hitting a deep pothole at 40 mph. That was… interesting, if not exciting.

In some parts of the U.S., I’ll be able to legally cruise the speed limit on state highways without registration, license, title, tags, insurance, plates, or any of that crap. In some of those places, that will be a cruising speed of 70+ mph. Although, since “bicycles” aren’t allowed on the interstate, it will have to stay off that. In states that have defined class 3 ebikes, I can flip a switch to limit the motor to 28 mph and 1 horsepower of assist while pedaling, or 20 mph for throttle-only operation to stay legal as an ebike. I have an “offroad” mode to deliver maximum performance, which will be used for the race track and drag strip. If I can get sufficient traction, I’m expecting 15s in the 1/4 mile drag race on 13 horsepower, assuming 280 lbs laden vehicle weight and making more than 150 lb-ft of torque at stall. Which if achieved, would not at all be bad performance for a vehicle that a fit rider could power it to 40+ mph with their own two feet, and pick up and carry into an apartment or home.

If we end up in a resource-scarce world, there will always be a way to keep affordable motoring alive, provided that industrial civilization exists in some capacity, at least enough to make bicycles. This is because hundreds of miles of travel per kWh of electricity and thousands of miles of travel per gallon of liquid fuel at car-appropriate speeds is possible, if you design a vehicle from scratch to do it.

Canopysaurus
Canopysaurus
1 year ago

Roll along
Wagon Train.

Rollin over prairie where there ain’t no grass,
Rollin over mountain where there ain’t no pass.
Sittin on a board
eyein’ the weather
Prayin to the Lord
We stay together
Side by side on the Wagon Train.

Wagon Train
Roll along.

Pickinup a passenger in every town,
Wonderin if he’s ever gonna shoot you down.
Lookin for a pal,
ain’t it a pity,
Lookin for a gal,
needn’t be pretty
If she’ll ride on the Wagon Train.

Wagons ho!

Gotta keep em on the run.
Time to go!
And follow the sun.
Roll along
Wagon Train.

Never had a cabin near a general store,
Only had a wagon and a forty four.
Sittin on a board
Eyein the weather
Prayin to the Lord
we stay together
Side by side on the Wagon Train..

JerryLH3
JerryLH3
1 year ago

So Wally’s and Buc-ee’s are basically the same concept?

Anyway, glad to hear the trip is going about as well as can be expected at the moment.

CatMan
CatMan
1 year ago
Reply to  JerryLH3

Wally Bear better be careful, Buc-ee Beaver loves to sue

Lew Schiller
Lew Schiller
1 year ago
Reply to  JerryLH3

From the photos Wally’s is a lesser version. Buc-ee’s Jerkey is an entire department not a wall of bags.

10001010
10001010
1 year ago
Reply to  JerryLH3

That was my thought too, it just looked like an almost Buc-ee’s to me.

Frankencamry
Frankencamry
1 year ago

As a Central Illinoisian, I enjoy that yesterday’s “starting to warm up” for us was “The wind cuts through you like ice lasers every gas stop.” for Jason.

20mpg towing is pretty impressive at first blush, but I have to temper that with wondering if the coal rolling incident was more a commentary on their leisurely pace than an environmental comment. With fatigued drivers and the elder statesman Mustang involved I could certainly see the convoy not keeping up with traffic.

Hopefully temps are better as they head west for Jason’s sake, as the wind won’t be.

The Toecutter
The Toecutter
1 year ago
Reply to  Frankencamry

When the snow was too thick for my bike, I walked through blizzard conditions to get where I needed to go. It was nearly -10F with 50 mph wind gusts. Yeah, that was painful. I saw someone who didn’t know how to drive in these conditions spin out into a guardrail.

Those lucky(unlucky) enough to live in LA won’t have to ever deal with that crap when they are home!

Nlpnt
Nlpnt
1 year ago
Reply to  Frankencamry

Torch has spent most of (his entire?) life in Carolina or California. I too would take his idea of cold with a grain of salt (and then wash it off my car since if you don’t do it weekly *no matter what* it’ll be rusted out after ten years.)

JurassicComanche25
JurassicComanche25
1 year ago

I’m not sure new Jeep CEO is familiar with jeep products- take away the badging, I’d say the wagoner was a new hummer or GM product with that roofline.

Mark
Mark
1 year ago

I’d call it a Durango

Chris Stevenson
Chris Stevenson
1 year ago

The grille is the iconic enough to identify it from the front, but I agree about the sides and rear.

Shop-Teacher
Shop-Teacher
1 year ago

Yeah, I slowly came up on one on the interstate recently. It had a huge strip of chrome trim around the rear window. I couldn’t tell what the hell it was until I got close enough to read the badges. From a long distance my first thought was, “Is that some weird Soviet thing? No, wait, I think that’s an old Isuzu Trooper … no … What the hell IS that … THING!?!?”

Adrian Clarke
Adrian Clarke
1 year ago
Reply to  Shop-Teacher

The Wagoneer/Grand Wagoneer is a massive missed opportunity from a design point of view. Jeep had an iconic nameplate and heritage to die for and what they came up with is kinda generic Jeep and doesn’t really capture any of what made the original such a classic.

Dalton
Dalton
1 year ago
Reply to  Adrian Clarke

Do you think think going with a heritage design like the new Bronco did would have been more successful?

415s30
415s30
1 year ago
Reply to  Dalton

Yeah, this thing looks like an old Suburban, and not a good generation. We had a Wagoneer in the 80’s growing up and if it looked as good as the new Bronco does respectively it would be cool. With what they offer I would just get a top of the line Cherokee, it actually looks good.

Slower Louder
Slower Louder
1 year ago
Reply to  Adrian Clarke

It’s worse than generic; it makes Suburbans look kinda sexy, which they don’t. The original GW said “old money “ to me. The new is more like, “ I don’t know what to do with my money. “

Jack Trade
Jack Trade
1 year ago
Reply to  Slower Louder

Yeah, to me, this iteration says “yeah that’s right it’s as big and luxurious as your Suburban or Navigator!”

This exists only b/c the others do. Which is a fairly sad reason at the end of the day.

My father is a devout Wagoneerist who worshipped at their altar of tractor-like handling, vinyl seating, and mandatory carburation, and he hates these new ones as nothing Wagoneer but a badge.

415s30
415s30
1 year ago
Reply to  Slower Louder

It is a boring mess, I don’t know how they threw away an opportunity to make it look like a cool Wagoneer. We had one growing up, I’m sure plenty of other people did too. I am in NorCal and I never see these, I think I’ve seen two. Speaking of throwing away sales, I was just thinking about how the FJ Cruiser could have had a removable top. I was in Moab this year and there are a lot of Toyota people too, not just Jeepers.

RootWyrm
RootWyrm
1 year ago
Reply to  Adrian Clarke

The worst part is they literally could fix it for less than $250 per unit.
FUCKING WOOD PANELS, FCATLANTIS. I TOLD YOU. EVERYONE DID.

Stef Schrader
Stef Schrader
1 year ago

it looks like a Hummer H2 that needs to fart

C Accetta
C Accetta
1 year ago

Love these stories. I’ve driven across the USA 10 times, all W to E and almost exclusively on state highways, and seeing something like Wally’s after a few days in the road would be like stepping into heaven!

And we need a write up on that bike, please!

Collegiate Autodidact
Collegiate Autodidact
1 year ago
Reply to  C Accetta

Seconding the write up about the bike. That reader, Toecutter, has talked a little about it (with pictures!) in comments on other articles in the past which indeed piques one’s curiosity.

Acid Tonic
Acid Tonic
1 year ago

I find it kind of sad that you forced him to move to the most car unfriendly state in the country.

Now, none of his projects or swaps will be legal to drive. Stupid emission testing rules and fees plus their idea that you owe them backdated cash for registrations will trim down his fleet and ruin all the good stories as he worked on them.

I personally have turned down many high paying tech jobs in the state because whats the point of having cash for fun projects if you live in a police state shithole that wont let you do anything with it?

Poor David.

The Toecutter
The Toecutter
1 year ago
Reply to  Acid Tonic

I’m intent on helping him come up with a parts list to convert at least one of them into an EV.

Dalton
Dalton
1 year ago
Reply to  Acid Tonic

“Most Car Unfriendly state” that explains why it has the most diverse, and widely regarded as best car culture in the entire world then.

Dave Horchak
Dave Horchak
1 year ago
Reply to  Dalton

Sorry that is only because of the weather, size, and the best car loving demographic in the world.

LTDScott
LTDScott
1 year ago
Reply to  Dave Horchak

Was this supposed to be a counterpoint?

Bobfish
Bobfish
1 year ago
Reply to  Acid Tonic

I remember when California got rid of all cool cars and car-related things. Took them a while to tear down all the motorsports tracks (51 according to wiki). Certainly no enormous car meets of all types and vintage anymore… constantly. The PC Highway is only for bicycles and electric scooters now, right? Mix in a clue buddy.

LTDScott
LTDScott
1 year ago
Reply to  Bobfish

Tracks admittedly are a challenge though. Used to be 3 drag strips in San Diego, now there is one. The future of Pomona, Irwindale, and Auto Club Speedways are up in the air.

Skurdnee
Skurdnee
1 year ago
Reply to  LTDScott

that’s seemingly everywhere, though. not a lot of tracks left in general.

RootWyrm
RootWyrm
1 year ago
Reply to  LTDScott

Yeah, that’s not a California thing. It was a goddamn permitting and NIMBY nightmare to resurrect Nelson’s Ledges. In Ohio. It’s been in the same damn location since 1958.

I honestly don’t know of any race tracks that aren’t Daytona or COTA size that aren’t having to fight NIMBY bullshit constantly at this point. And we’re talking tracks that have been established for decades. Assholes want to build some new development or ridiculous McMansion, then decide it’s too loud or they don’t like the traffic or they want their property value line to go up faster.
And yes, these absolutely are the same fuckheads that demand the nightly test and tune at the drag strip stops before 7PM, then demand the drag strip shut down entirely, then complain the devil kids are cruising around their neighborhood with loud exhausts and demand the police shoot them on sight.

Stef Schrader
Stef Schrader
1 year ago
Reply to  RootWyrm

Hell, even COTA’s had to fight NIMBY BS since day one.

LTDScott
LTDScott
1 year ago
Reply to  Acid Tonic

Your judgment is clouded by misperceptions from somewhere. I won’t deny that being a car enthusiast in California is harder than other states, but you’re way overstating (and apparently over-worrying about) the hurdles.

I own a 1985 Ford LTD with a CA-certified engine swap that puts down nearly 3x the factory horespower level and it’s totally smog legal. I had to be selective with the parts and it makes biennial smog more challenging because I need to present more paperwork, but it’s doable.

I also own a BMW E30 race car that was built in a residential 2-car garage. It has been dormant for a while but before that I was racing it at least a couple times a year.

And while I agree it sucks that the state expects you to pay full back registration to get a parked car back on the road, the process to put a car on PNO (Planned Non Operational) status is as simple as checking a box during the registration renewal and paying a ONE TIME $23 fee. My E30 has been PNO for years. It’s so damn cheap and easy to put a car on PNO that frankly I don’t have any sympathy for you if you’re too stupid/ignorant/oblivious to ignore DMV paperwork that’s sent to you.

Given the challenges David has faced to get his Caravan to pass inspection in Germany, and now the Valiant ute in Australia, all of this is surmountable, and will give him access to constant year round car events and culture. Literally every weekend there are multiple car events to attend in multiple different circles.

Donald Petersen
Donald Petersen
1 year ago
Reply to  LTDScott

Yeah. I do get the impression that a lot of the “jeez, California is the absolute WORST place to be into cars” comments come from commenters who have political and/or philosophical issues with the state that have very little to do with the automotive reality here.

Mantis Toboggan, MD
Mantis Toboggan, MD
1 year ago

Some of them might be stuck in the past, remembering when CARB engines were even more gutless than the 49 state versions but that was decades ago. It seems like it’s more expensive to own a vehicle in California but that’s a problem for the lower income drivers, not enthusiasts with money to spend.

Aside from the costs of inspection and possibly higher parts prices I would imagine strict emissions and safety requirements would make for a higher average used car price than a state with more lax regulations but I’ve never seen any data to support that.

RootWyrm
RootWyrm
1 year ago

And have also never so much as set foot in there, or if they have, it was only to visit their buddies in Meth Country, Nazi Country, or Meth Dealing Nazi Country.

The Toecutter
The Toecutter
1 year ago
Reply to  RootWyrm

Makes sense. The Nazis pioneered the production and use of meth during WWII.

RootWyrm
RootWyrm
1 year ago
Reply to  The Toecutter

And then apparently relocated en masse to the areas outside of urban California.

Friend used to live in San Diego, which, hello? Big fucking military town. You know. Patriots who did their duty and shot Nazis in WWII. And even before Obama, “yeah, avoid all of these areas at all costs.” ‘Bad traffic?’ “Meth operations that will shoot at you if you stop too close or turn around in their driveway, and these are compounds full of armed Nazis.”

Dave Horchak
Dave Horchak
1 year ago
Reply to  LTDScott

So far, wait a few years than the rules get tougher and you are screwed. They have used the screw you by the inch method for decades.
Sign me an ex Santa Maria and Eureka resident. Hope my friends in Eureka survived the quake.

LTDScott
LTDScott
1 year ago
Reply to  Dave Horchak

I’ve heard this too and so far it hasn’t come to fruition for me. The most common form of this I hear is the claim that the state keeps raising the allowable emissions limits. I have smog checks on the same said 1985 Ford going back to 2005 that show the limits have not changed at all. Of course I can’t speak for any time before that, but that’s damn near 20 years where nothing changed. Perhaps you’re right, but without any evidence showing that I really need to worry, it comes off as whataboutism.

10001010
10001010
1 year ago
Reply to  Dave Horchak

Some damn good music coming out of Eureka CA.

Mark Tucker
Mark Tucker
1 year ago
Reply to  LTDScott

Besides, a ’66 Mustang is exempt from testing anyway. Ditto a ’59 Metropolitan. The others will be a challenge, but not an impossible one. We give David shit for a lot of things, but the dude KNOWS cars, inside and out, backwards and forwards. A little smog compliance isn’t going to slow him down.

Jonee Eisen
Jonee Eisen
1 year ago
Reply to  Acid Tonic

Best car culture in America. Just the other day I saw a Lancia 037 on Angeles Crest Highway, the greatest driving road on the continent, while in my old Citroen. Where else can you say that?

Inthemikelane
Inthemikelane
1 year ago
Reply to  Jonee Eisen

Couldn’t agree more. I’ve lived on the central CA coast for decades, between all the large cities and small towns all around, and even here have seen some of the coolest vehicles in my life. Lived in four US regions now, and nowhere else comes close.

Max Wallace
Max Wallace
1 year ago
Reply to  Acid Tonic

That’s just not fair. PCH, Laguna Seca, Buttonwillow, Streets, CA 33, Alice’s, and a million other auto things. Land speed racing. Hot Rod Magazine. Lowriders.

Also, despite the smog laws, you can still get a 1000hp car new, with a warranty, that meets CA emissions. Anything older than 76 gets a pass anyway, and the BAR process to put a newer engine in an older car really isn’t that bad. Clean air and blue skies, courtesy of CARB and EFI.

California is the largest state economy, and the sixth largest economy in the world. I really get annoyed when people take cheap shots at CA instead of being proud as hell that it was made in America.

05LGT
05LGT
1 year ago
Reply to  Acid Tonic

Just look at lowrider culture, hotrod culture or … any cars and coffee event in California and ignore this politically generated false narrative. Why would anyone post anything as easily disproven as this.
Galpin exists, you are wrong.

Andy Individual
Andy Individual
1 year ago

Props to the Mustang doing this on it’s own power. I guess there had to be at least one vehicle in the fleet!

Collegiate Autodidact
Collegiate Autodidact
1 year ago

That’s seriously cool, despite the, uh, minimal showing, about the last-minute reader meetup, especially with that streamliner bike. Any number of attendants (that is, >0) is always good.
“Someone also rolled coal on them last night, but Jason was baffled because it’s not like their convoy was green at all.”
Maybe a case of blind brand loyalty? Did the coal-roller have a “I’d rather be pushing a Ford than driving a Jeep” bumper sticker?

Gubbin
Gubbin
1 year ago

Thank you for stepping into the breach to bring us worried fans an update!

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