I hope everyone has a very meaningful Memorial Day! We’re going to take the day off, at least for our American writers and editors, and I think our Canadian got food poisoning and has been doing a lot a puking, our Brit claims there’s a bank holiday today, but I think our Australian is at least somewhat operational. But, really, I just want everyone to take the day off. So, with that in mind, why not read a bunch of long-ish stories from the early days of the site?
These are stories you may have missed since they’re from when we were just getting started, but are absolutely worth reading, and I’m sure you’ll want to take a break from your cookouts or potlatches or outdoor swing parties or marathon capture-the-flag battles or Maoist Struggle Session re-enactments or however you choose to observe Memorial Day. I’m not here to judge, after all.
So, with that in mind, enjoy our website equivalent of a clip show!
This One Is Even Military-Related
How I Got My Navy Callsign By Shitting Myself In An F/A-18 Fighter Jet. Twice.
One of our launch day stories, this is a compelling tale of a young fighter pilot coming of age and earning his callsign by shitting his pants. Twice.
This Was An Amazing Behind-The-Scenes Tale
I really wanted this writer to keep writing for us on a regular basis, but he’s a busy and respected car designer and has plenty of other crap to do. I’m just happy we got this amazing story from him, though, describing a worst-case scenario involving an important presentation, a clay model, and a earthquake.
You’re Damn Right I’m Putting This In
Murder By Flashing Amber Light: A Mack Hardigraw Car Mystery
Right out of the gate when we started, I wanted people to understand that this would be a welcoming place for all sorts of taillight degeneracy and intrigue, so we had a Mack Hardigraw Car Mystery! I’ll do another one at some point, I promise. Or, maybe, I threaten?
This One Still Seems Useful Today
Our man Thomas has been here from the start, cranking out important stories with relentless fervor, like some kind of possessed typewriter from a ’70s horror movie that never existed. This one feels like it could be handy for used Ford Maverick buyers to know, as opposed to the new Maverick buyers it was targeted to a few years back:
How To Fix The Base Ford Maverick’s Biggest Problem For $175
Use This One To Make Conversation At Your Memorial Day Cookout
You’re welcome.
The Startling Realization About The Famous ‘Honk If You’re Horny’ Bumper Sticker
You’ll Never See This Level Of Candor Anywhere Else
You know what kind of meas I like? Culpas. Mea culpas. And you don’t get any better culpas of the mea varietals than the one our resident engineer Huibert gave unto the world as he explained what went wrong with this Ford GT suspension component that prompted an immediate stop driving order! It’s fascinating!
Our First Liveblog of A Disaster
Early on, David sold one of his Jeeps and boy did it turn into a colossal shitshow. We live-blogged the pain, which is now corporate policy.
LIVE: David Sold A Nice Lady A Jeep And It Immediately Blew Up (She’s Fine, Jeep Isn’t)
Some Things Never Change
You know how David has just recently been talking about how he may buy this coveted and rare two-door manual transmission Jeep XJ Cherokee? We’ve been down this road before.
Someone Is Offering Me The Perfect Jeep Cherokee XJ Two-Door Manual But I Don’t Know If I Can Buy It
Our Cranky Gothy Britishy Designer Has Been At This A While
Adrian has always been Adrian, and we’re lucky to have him, though we’d never tell him that. One of his first things he did here remains one of my favorites – taking ideas from readers and using his professional-designer dark arts to make them feel, you know, designer-y. This take on big American station wagons updated to modern EVs is especially fun.
This Should Have Been A Bigger Deal
Jaguar invented the dune buggy? What the hell?
Okay, let’s say this is enough for now. Plenty of big stories to get lost in as you sit in the bathroom, noisily and virulently expelling the remains of the eight chili dogs you just went to town on.
Have a fantastic holiday!
> Alex, who is roughly my age (I’m 30), is going through school, building a family, and doing all the grownup things that I’m not doing, so naturally, he figured he doesn’t have time to deal with his old XJ and I do.
That aged well
I was hoping to see Matt’s review of the Toyota GR86 in this list. Plug!
Mack Hardigraw! You’ve been denying us for too long Torch. We all want, no, need this right now.
I ned a bumper sticker that says “horn if you’re a honky”
Love the clip show reference, but remember you can only do 1 per season! No trying to pull one of these out on the 4th of July too, just do a Carson rerun or something.
I should be asleep now, but I’ll be spending mine asleep and then enjoying double time tonight because I work in one of two departments that doesn’t get holidays off. There are no branches open today but the NOC never sleeps.
Indeed. I swear the electrons get especially frisky over long holiday weekends.
Non-Official Cover? Do you work for the Impossible Mission Force?
Clearly, David should’ve bought that Jeep in 2022 but not the one now.
I’m just here to remind everyone:
Memorial Day is in memoriam of fallen soldiers, not necessarily all veterans. That’s Veterans Day. So please take care to not wish a living veteran a Happy Memorial Day by telling him we are celebrating him today. We are not. We are celebrating his dead comrades. Big difference, and bigger potential “oof.”
With that in mind, I hope everyone has a happy, pedantically correct Memorial Day.
I’ve seen and heard in the last couple years folks wishing a Grateful Memorial Day.
I find it a more appropriate phrase.
I’m a rare breed of US Marine. Active duty 1976 to 1987 with no war during my time.
My early mentors were Viet Nam vets. They told me stories of folks they lost.
Some of the folks I trained fought in the Middle East and Afghanistan. Some of them are remembered today.
Semper Fi! to my Brothers and Sisters guarding Heaven’s Gate.
Good stuff.