There have been a lot of custom cars lately that I’d say fall under the category of: Your scientists were so preoccupied with whether they could, they didn’t stop to think if they should. High on the list of those vehicles is the bizarre ‘Eleanor’ Mustang II from yesterday. That might have been a troll, but it was one with a high degree of effort.
If anything, I’m more impressed by whatever the hell this is. With way less effort, someone has managed to design a car that will make so many people mad.
I mean, I know what it is. I know what it’s trying to be. I just don’t know the why. Or the who. Though I’m afraid to know the who.
Ostensibly, this is a 2004 Jeep Liberty listed on Facebook Marketplace for $5,500 in Arlington, Texas, which is very much a place you wind up as opposed to a place you choose to go. It is the most unintentional of destinations, whereas there’s a disturbing intentionality to this. It’s like finding a turd in a jar of pickles. It’s not that hard to do, but a lot of very specific choices had to be made to arrive there.
The topshot of this post gives it a way. The iconic seven-slot on this Jeep Liberty–a probably unfairly maligned vehicle–has been replaced by a flat, Pontiac-style grille that’s somehow evocative of the Pontiac Aztek yet, for maximum confusion, the grille contains a GTO badge from, I think, the Holden-era GTO. And, as if that wasn’t clear, someone added the letters -T and -O to the Jeep badge to create the: JEE-T-O.
May God have mercy on this person’s soul.
The Pontiactness continues out in back, where the owner has added another Pontiac logo and, maybe, the 6.0 LS2 V8 badge. This is some sicko nonsense. Can this owner explain what inspired them to do this? No, but they tried:
OK, not like any other Jeep Liberty you have ever seen. This is…What if Pontiac made a Jeep Liberty? This is my own customization of a Jeep Liberty. It has a custom grille and GTO emblems. That’s it. It will come with the original grille to return it to stock. This is absolutely the cleanest @004 automobile on the planet. I keep all my cars pristine. It’s a 95 out of 100! You would really have to see it to realize how clean it is. There is a “scuff” on the left hand front bumper that is hardly visible, and a crack in the windshield. (So sue me!) I have scrubbed and shampooed every inch of this car. I shampooed the seatbelts! I have added 3 phone holders, an eye glasses holder, 2 pen holders, and have wired the radio with an external input plug to play music from your device. This car runs like a top, and has the coldest A/C I have ever owned. Just come and drive it, then call me a liar.
Definitely not a liar, because no sane person would lie about doing this, only about not doing it. What’s the deal with the glasses holder?
The person had to choose to do this. That took some actual work. The pen holders, well, maybe a little less:
Those are nice pens. Not gonna lie. Good pen choice. For all the talk about the random features the owner put into this car, there’s no explanation of the fire extinguisher? I think it’s good to have a fire extinguisher in a car, as a rule, though this isn’t the most obvious car to need one.
I only know of one Jeep Liberty that was more of a troll, and it was the one Ray Wert used to drive around Michigan with a license plate that said “Liberal” on it. Perhaps he was ahead of his time.
Top photo: Facebook Marketplace, hat tip to Space Cadet for bringing this to our attention.
Hmmm. Should I de-badge the V6 off my ’17 Accord like people (I guess) did off of 6.3 litre Mercedes 300s just to smoke unsuspecting Supercar drivers back in the late 60s?
Spoiler alert, a V6 Camry or Accord will give a M-B 300 SEL 6.3. MB a run for its money. And cost a lot less to maintain.
People like me generally don’t buy these to shame mid-60s era Ferraris.
But it’s nice to know the power reserve is there. Today, I nailed the throttle to get around a farm tractor and glanced down a couple of seconds later and oh! I’m doing 85+ in a 55-mph zone. How did that happen?
I think it’s an improvement over Chrysler marketing department crap that every Jeep needs a 7 slot grill, no matter how bad it looks.
Funny. My beater lifted Subaru Outback is like this. I even badged it a TRD Pro in the back, and I’m sitting on some Range Rover hood letters from a prior repair, so whenever I repair a BMW M-Division car, I can rebadge my Subi a “Mange Rover”.
Honestly impressed by how well done the grille is, one of the most successful body kit type things I’ve seen on marketplace (or wherever)
Okay, I am waaay to enamored by the idea of a pen holder in a car’s console.
This is hilarious. Ever since the fiat/chrysler merger I’ve wanted to put Fiat badges on a Jeep but I’m not foolish enough to own a Jeep to do it with…haha
I don’t like it, but based on the pictures it seems like the custom work was done well. $5.5k seems a little steep though because I can’t say the owner really improved on the vehicle.
Wife wouldn’t let him have the real thing, I bet, so he turned the family SUV into one in an act of peaceful defiance. She rolled her eyes and said, “whatever, at least it keeps him out of trouble.”
That’s a lot of holders.
If he’d have put rubber grommets into his pen holes I’d have bought it. Then again, I have a drill bit, grommets and pens. Maybe I’ll accessorize my cars and my kayak the same way too.
If you do decide to drill pen holes in your kayak, take plenty of pics to share with us.
I’d be sure to share the Marketplace listing. Floated when docked.
If GM had never gone bankrupt this absolutely would have been how they did a modern Le Mans, like that horrible Opel Kadett-based one.
And perhaps we would still have Holden making things in Australia.
This car reminds me of a joke.
A man walks into a psychiatrist’s office wearing nothing but saran wrap.
The doctor says, “I can clearly see your nuts.”
A rare instance where both “your” and “you’re” are acceptable.
This is actually so hilarious, awesome, and clever! I would buy it right now if I could
As Mom, Mammaw, Aunt (pronounced aint) Cille, Aunt Marybelle, and all the women in my maternal line would say – bless his heart.
So specific: Two pens!
Also: fairly maligned.
It is pretty clean.
I’d rather see this than some bozo doing a “tune” that causes their exhaust to pop obnoxiously like a gunshot. Or a Carolina squat.
Honestly, I’m impressed by the grille. There aren’t any high-resolution pics on the Facebook listing, so it’s hard to check the build quality. From what I can see, it looks pretty well done, like in a factory. I’m curious how the owner made it. 3D printing? Fiberglass? Modifying an existing Liberty grille?
Looking at what I believe is one of the many phone holders next to the pens, it seems someone got themselves a 3D printer. Perhaps for Christmas, who knows? And now cannot stop playing with it; every few days churning out his latest creation to add an invaluable feature to his, and others, ride. Meanwhile, every other person in is family/friend sphere now greets any gift from him with an inaudible sigh and covert eye roll as they receive yet another creation meant to better their lives, but inevitably will fail at it’s purpose; while having to remain in plain view so as not to offend the creator.
I don’t know anyone like this. Really.
This is what happens when someone with way too much time on his hands gets a really bad idea that he just can’t let go of. At least he didn’t run for president.
This guy seems pretty honest, I would consider voting for him in 2029.
I think the voting would happen in 28. Take office in 29
Thanks, I would have missed it by a year.
Probably for the best that a Jeep owner carry a fire extinguisher.
I’ve carried fire extinguishers in my cars for years. Never needed it for my car, used all of them on other people’s fires. I need to start charging for fire extinguisher uses.
Front clip has some Pontiac T1000 vibes.
I’m offended… I LOVE IT, but I’m still offended!
No Hi lift jack. Not interested.
i find its lack of snorkel disturbing.
AI carumba!
Credit where credit is due; that backseat is immaculate.
The obligatory Jeep fire extinguisher is a nice touch.
This isn’t a Jeep; its clearly a Pontiac.
Are the pens and sunglasses included?