Ok, Fess Up, Who Did This?

There have been a lot of custom cars lately that I’d say fall under the category of: Your scientists were so preoccupied with whether they could, they didn’t stop to think if they should. High on the list of those vehicles is the bizarre ‘Eleanor’ Mustang II from yesterday. That might have been a troll, but it was one with a high degree of effort.

If anything, I’m more impressed by whatever the hell this is. With way less effort, someone has managed to design a car that will make so many people mad.

I mean, I know what it is. I know what it’s trying to be. I just don’t know the why. Or the who. Though I’m afraid to know the who.

Ostensibly, this is a 2004 Jeep Liberty listed on Facebook Marketplace for $5,500 in Arlington, Texas, which is very much a place you wind up as opposed to a place you choose to go. It is the most unintentional of destinations, whereas there’s a disturbing intentionality to this. It’s like finding a turd in a jar of pickles. It’s not that hard to do, but a lot of very specific choices had to be made to arrive there.

The topshot of this post gives it a way. The iconic seven-slot on this Jeep Liberty–a probably unfairly maligned vehicle–has been replaced by a flat, Pontiac-style grille that’s somehow evocative of the Pontiac Aztek yet, for maximum confusion, the grille contains a GTO badge from, I think, the Holden-era GTO. And, as if that wasn’t clear, someone added the letters -T and -O to the Jeep badge to create the: JEE-T-O.

May God have mercy on this person’s soul.

The Pontiactness continues out in back, where the owner has added another Pontiac logo and, maybe, the 6.0 LS2 V8 badge. This is some sicko nonsense. Can this owner explain what inspired them to do this? No, but they tried:

OK, not like any other Jeep Liberty you have ever seen. This is…What if Pontiac made a Jeep Liberty? This is my own customization of a Jeep Liberty. It has a custom grille and GTO emblems. That’s it. It will come with the original grille to return it to stock. This is absolutely the cleanest @004 automobile on the planet. I keep all my cars pristine. It’s a 95 out of 100! You would really have to see it to realize how clean it is. There is a “scuff” on the left hand front bumper that is hardly visible, and a crack in the windshield. (So sue me!) I have scrubbed and shampooed every inch of this car. I shampooed the seatbelts! I have added 3 phone holders, an eye glasses holder, 2 pen holders, and have wired the radio with an external input plug to play music from your device. This car runs like a top, and has the coldest A/C I have ever owned. Just come and drive it, then call me a liar.

Definitely not a liar, because no sane person would lie about doing this, only about not doing it. What’s the deal with the glasses holder?

The person had to choose to do this. That took some actual work. The pen holders, well, maybe a little less:

Those are nice pens. Not gonna lie. Good pen choice. For all the talk about the random features the owner put into this car, there’s no explanation of the fire extinguisher? I think it’s good to have a fire extinguisher in a car, as a rule, though this isn’t the most obvious car to need one.

I only know of one Jeep Liberty that was more of a troll, and it was the one Ray Wert used to drive around Michigan with a license plate that said “Liberal” on it. Perhaps he was ahead of his time.

Top photo: Facebook Marketplace, hat tip to Space Cadet for bringing this to our attention.