You know what AI-generated art is really good for? Generating images fast. Not good images or accurate images, just fast crap that would have taken a human a lot longer to make, except the human may have decided not to do anything profoundly and obviously stupid, like putting a Toyota Tacoma on merch for Ram or getting the number of stars on the American flag wrong. That’s what AI-generated images are good for: making unusably stupid images with breathtaking speed.
I wish this was a joke, but, sadly, it’s not. Stellantis’ main all-truck-all-the-time brand, Ram, has a big merch store absolutely jam-packed with Ram-themed stuff, like T-shirts and knives and drinking glasses and backpacks and hoodies and probably a colonic kit or whatever. You would think that, since the whole point of the merch is to showcase Ram trucks and promote the whole Ram product identity, the use of, say, Ram trucks instead of, oh, Toyota trucks would be a big deal.
You would think that, but clearly Ram doesn’t seem to think something as trivial as not putting a competitor’s truck on their own merch is a big deal, because look at this shirt that was for sale on their site:
So we have a “2026 RAM PATRIOTIC UNISEX T-SHIRT” here. The 2026 checks out, since that’s the year of our Lord that we are in, and I guess it’s unisex, since it lacks any genitalia, and it definitely is a T-shirt. But the Ram and patriotic part? I’m not so sure. Let’s look at the Ram part:
Wait…is that a Ram? I don’t think so. Look:
That’s a Tacoma. A used Tacoma, even. Ram couldn’t even spring for a new Tacoma to put on their Ram shirts? It’s definitely not a Ram, even if someone or some algorithm slapped a RAM badge on that distinctive Tacoma grille.
And as far as patriotic, well, wouldn’t you expect a patriot to at least know how many stars, and from there, states there are in these wonderful United States of America?
I’m pretty sure we have 50 states, and that flag only has, even assuming there’s some blocked behind that Toyota, 40 stars. Look up there, I did the math. So what states is Ram suggesting we remove? A Dakota? We have three of them, after all, I think. Rhode Island? It’s small, maybe no one will notice. Arizona? Maine? North Carolina? Franklin? Florida? Who knows?
Other folks online noticed these issues as well, and the shirt seems to have been pulled from the site. But it’s not the only thing Ram is selling that promotes a Toyota Tacoma. Want a huge, four-foot banner that shows how much you love America, re-badged Tacomas, and AI bullshit? Boy are you in luck!
Look at that thing, proudly proclaiming that this is Truck Country! Truck Country must be a former Japanese colony, based on their mascot truck:
There’s our Toyota again, wearing the RAM badge. Now just on the off chance that you think we’re being too harsh here, that it really isn’t such a big deal to have some other company’s truck on this banner with the Ram name on it, let me present a little analogy.
What if your kid was really into Hello Kitty, and they wanted a Hello Kitty poster. So you go to the Hello Kitty official merch site, and buy a Hello Kitty poster, and you get this:
It says Hello Kitty but the kitty herself has the head of 1978-era Garfield. Do you think your kid would be fine with that? After all, it’s still a cat, right? And before you say it, no I don’t buy that Hello Kitty is somehow not a cat, so save it.
The point is clearly this would not be okay. Sanrio would never allow such a poster to be sold through any of their outlets. So why does a company that makes tiny stationary sets for little kids have such higher standards than Stellantis, one of the world’s biggest carmakers?
Why is Ram okay with this? It’s absurd! The level of AI slop here is so vast and rich it would feed every algorithmic swine in the world. It’s literally the wrong freaking truck on Ram’s own merchandise. They should feel embarassed as hell.
Remember, this isn’t the first time Ram has made an ass of themselves with AI. Take the L and learn the lesson, dummies. Hire some actual designers to make your damn shirts. Sure, you’ll have to pay them, but they will at least know how many damn states there are in American and I suspect will know which motherclutching truck to put on the damn shirt.
We really living in the stupidest of times. Ram, get your head out of your ass.
Top shot: Ram
So, when will The Autopian begin selling “RAM” branded grills for Tacomas?
I want Ferrari to do this, but insert a Fiero.
Isn’t the Ram pickup the most popular vehicle of those arrested for drunk driving?
If so, I’m not sure die-hard Ram fans would be in a condition to discern a Ram from a Toyota.
Remember the time Torch wrote an article pointing out poor marketing at Ram and they pulled the products from the web immediately? No? That’s weird, because that day is today.
I can still find the links when searching for these items, but they’re gone from the website as far as I can tell. “The requested product is not available. We’re sorry, this page cannot be found” for the t shirt and the banner.
Hilarious stuff here Torch.
And we’re not even gonna mention that there appear to be only 11 stripes?! Which colonies does RAM hate?
The RAM font isn’t correct either… nicely done Stellantis marking team.
I’m mildly insulted that in the Discord conversation that led to this post, I pointed out there were (presumably) 38 stars in an 8-7-8-7-8 format, making it the flag in use from 1876 to 1890, and then we got a “40 stars. Look up there, I did the math.” rant/graphic anyway. All my star-counting and degree in American history go unused once again.
I’m sorry!
Oh no it was just mild insult. You don’t have to apologize. One quick listen to Dashboard Confessional’s “Again I Go Unnoticed” and I’m ready for the examination of the next AI mess.
Or we can go even further and see that only 35 stars are visible because Ram either thinks the other three states are of no value or were sympathetic to the (presumably) 12 others that were annexed by Canada. The allure of maple syrup, hockey, and Jim Farley’s beloved Xiaomi SU7 was just too tempting.
If the article acknowledge the years the flag were in play, there couldn’t be a joke about which states to drop, since it’s known what states weren’t states in 1876.
That sounds too logical, I want to vote on which states are no longer part of the USA. Or better yet, I want Stellantis to tell us which states they no longer consider part of the USA.
I am guessing all of this patriotic gear, like the “Under Armour Patriot” stuff is made in other countries.
Some rows only have seven stars
Given the last 10 years, I suspect there’s nothing more patriotically American than using shitty AI image generation to churn out slop that is wrong in multiple ways so that a multi-billion dollar corporation can avoid paying a human artist a few thousand bucks to then turn around and sell a $30 T-shirt doubtless made in some low-wage country then shipped around the world on a ship that produces more carbon emissions than 10,000 cars driving for a year that will probably start falling apart after 2 washes.
USA! USA! USA!
Gotta love late stage capitalism!
So, if AI replaces everyone’s jobs, who’s going buy the $30 t-shirts?
“So, if AI replaces everyone’s jobs, who’s going buy the $30 t-shirts?“
Shhhh. They don’t like us talking about that part.
Going to type “Create a picture of a computer wearing a t-shirt” into CoPilot-GTP.
It’ll suggest cutting off ties with your family and entering a monogamous relationship with the T shirt
I am already in an open relationship with a couch.
JD? Is that you?
I think it’s been established that person is not remotely interesting enough to be here.
I’m not gonna go check, but from these images this “RAM America 250 USA USA USA Murica Truck Nutz” merch store looks like some drop-shipping website thrown together by one of Andrew Tate’s acolytes.
If you check out the description on the banner, there are grommets “every 24-36 inches”. Which means a total of like 3 grommets, since the banner is 48×12.
lol
I love what you do for me, RAMyota!
RAM-Yoda? Into some freaky stuff, he is!
Not only would I NOT trust someone who describes themselves as a “patriot” to not know how many stars there are on the US flag, I wouldn’t trust them to know more than 2 Amendments.
As the owner of a 15 year old Ram, I often want to make my truck appear to not be a Ram to distance myself from the typical Ram owner. Maybe I should bolt on a Tacoma grille.
Maybe in this case, RAM stands for “Random AI Monstrosities”
I don’t think Stellantis has a marketing team anymore, just a single intern typing the occasional prompt. All of the Jeep/Dodge/Ram commercials this year have been AI slop.
I’m good with losing 10 states as long as I get to pick the states. For example I’d say Florida because it’s sinking anyways, South Dakota because we named it too lazily, and New Hampshire because it seems redundant when we have Vermont.
Common misconception on New Hampshire and Vermont. In reality they are codependent. If you removed one the other would fall into an abyss. Their shapes were made by god herself and hold the key to eternal life in the universe.
Wait weren’t we talking about RAM being stupid? I need to lay off the airplane glue so early in the morning.
It’s always a bad day to quit sniffing glue.
But does that mean it’s never a bad day to start sniffing glue?
Well, the Murder Belt down by the Gulf of America